Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Flip

Original poster

Why do it again ? Isn't one enough ?

21 replies

DefNotYummyMummy · 15/04/2009 21:16

Just wondering what your thoughts are on why you decided to go through this again (apart from a nice 'accident', that is). I had a c-section with my first and a vbac with my second which went as well as it could. My second is 6 months, and it must be hormonal, but I am actually considering going through it all again even though after chronic m/s and the natural birth, I swore blind there was no way in hell I would put my body through that again. What is wrong with me ?! I was so ill, and unlike those who 'glow', I never did throughout (someone asked if I was overdue and I said 'no- I still have 15 weeks !' -jerk). I was all spotty and my teeth are **ed. The highlight was vomiting in my lap on the way to work at 8 weeks. It can only get better, right ? Stretch marks, well, there 'aint no going back. My hair was greasy and the birth...well, don't get me started. But you ladies must know what I mean. Why are we doing this to ourselves. Isn't one or two enough ? I find myself yearning for a positive test.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

thisisyesterday · 15/04/2009 21:19

because those little tiny babies are just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo worth it!!! that's why

well, that's why I am expecting number 3 in 7 weeks anyway.

whoingodsnameami · 15/04/2009 21:22

After my epidural suddenly wearing off during dt2 emegency c section, me howling in complete agony before being stabbed with a needle and put to sleep, I swore blind I would never ever get pregnant again, and I meant it, 6 months later I was sterilised and have'nt regretted it yet 5 years later.

Hassled · 15/04/2009 21:24

I think you eventually reach a critical mass. I thought I would always be permanently broody, but after DC4 that really was it. I still coo and gurgle at babies, but I would never want another one.

Ready4anotherMiniEgg · 15/04/2009 21:26

masochism

iris66 · 15/04/2009 21:29

actually, no - one isn't enough (for me anyway) or two, or three . I'm expecting number four in 11 weeks and have just gone through that delightful period of realisation that I have to actually go through labour again . I know this one will be my last though and I do think you know when you've have your quota, as it were - whether that's based on experiences or numbers.

PrettyCandles · 15/04/2009 21:30

Because the pregnancy and birth are only 9 months out of a lifetime with the result of that 9 months. If pgcy and birthing are just something to be endured, then if you want another child they don't really matter in the long run. After no1 we knew that our lives would not be complete without another, despite an incredibly painful pgcy (a massive fibroid that kept growing and twisting), 2nd degree tear that didn't heal and had to be cut open and repaired at 8m p-n, and PND - ultimately they weren't even worth considering. Well, the PND, maybe, but more in a 'we must plan how we will cope' way.

Original poster

DefNotYummyMummy · 15/04/2009 21:33

Oh God whoingodsnameami ! My epidural only worked down the right side for my first and I had a panic attack as they didn't believe me and started cutting into me and I could feel it and they kept tut tutting and eventually put me to sleep, and then when the same happened with my second I thought you effing jerks ! I wasn't some emotional hormonal woman - I was in bloody agony. So unfortunately I had an enforced semi-natural birth for my second. Your story is so much worse though. Jeez. No wonder you didn't fancy that again.

OP posts:

noonki · 15/04/2009 21:42

it's hormones making sure we reproduce!

saying that I am trying to talk DH into number three (his number four) pretty much everyday

Original poster

DefNotYummyMummy · 15/04/2009 21:44

Reading your stories makes me so proud to be a woman ! You are such troupers. There is no way the human race would continue if men had to give birth ! Tee Hee. Maybe I'll get to my threshold then...I'm still breastfeeding and haven't had a period yet, and so early days. I like reading the stories though. I just don't think i'm 'done' yet. I'm 37 and so maybe I had better not hang around. I'll see what dd decides as with ds, he stopped b/f at 14 months and I never got my period back until I completely stopped b/f.

OP posts:

titmouse · 16/04/2009 04:56

can I ask, if it isn't considered hijacking, if anybody feels the opposite of posters here - ladies who replied above, did you always feel this way? I had my first just over 2 weeks ago and I really do not think I will do this again. Is this just because I am still getting over it and having a nightmare with feeding etc - will I eventually want to have more even though I feel firmly convinced I could no way endure all this again?

misscreosote · 16/04/2009 08:51

Hee hee titmouse, 5am - can tell you've got a newbie in the house! Hope you got some sleep later.... In answer to your question, yes, I think it most probably is because you're only 2 weeks in (obviously some only want/can have one, and don't change their minds though). The birth is still fresh in your mind, its still all really new, and its really tough, I found, until about 3 months, then gradually gets better towards 6 months, and then at about 1 year I found myself getting a bit broody again (bloomin hormones). And then, one unguarded moment later and here I am at 34 weeks about to do it all again!

luckymoray · 16/04/2009 08:53

titmouse

completely normal. the first 2 weeks, in my opinion anyway, are hellish. you are still recovering from the trauma of the birth and breastfeeding can be a nightmare to begin with (of course, some women breeze through both but hey ho). i promise you, you will feel better so soon and yes, you probably will have another baby. i had my first child by a crash c-section as she was out of oxygen - i thought i had post-traumatic stress, breastfeeding was really hard and i said to my boyfriend that there was no way on earth i would ever get over the experience, let alone have another baby. Seven months later...I was pregnant again! Second daughter is now 4 months, breastfeeding again. All good! Hang on in there, eat well, be patient, be nice to yourself and have the odd glass of wine. xx

titmouse · 16/04/2009 10:02

hi misscreosote and luckymoray - well that's made me more optimistic, thank you. I wondered if it was just circumstance cos I would like to think she will have a brother or sister one day!

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 16/04/2009 10:07

In that case titmouse I'm sure she will!

I've got 2 ds's and while pg with ds2 was sure that would be it for us. He's 10 months old now and I'm pretty sure (most days!) that there'll be another at some point!

KathrynAustin · 16/04/2009 10:21

DefNotYummyMummy I know how you feel! When DS2 was 6-9 months I was broody, had the odd day dream about stopping the pill but held off. He's now 20 months and I'm not broody at all, in fact I'm terrified of getting pregnant! Very strange, maybe hormones?!

I think we will have a third (if I can persuade DH!), but we'll wait until DS2 is 3/4 I think.

BarbaraWoodlouse · 16/04/2009 10:26

Pretty Candles: After the way my 2 year old behaved this morning it's the "lifetime with the result of that 9 months" that's putting me off DC2

StarlightMcEggzie · 16/04/2009 10:40

titmouse You can only live in the present and 'survive' atm. No-one in their right mind would consider another on so early on, but if you've always thought you'd have more you'll come round when you are ready.

Having said that I always knew I'd have another, the big problem for me was HOW, given that I was having neither a vb or a c/s.

MoshiMoshi · 16/04/2009 11:37

None of mine were accidents. All were deliberately conceived but not really thought about until we realised we fancied another to add to our clan. Someone once said to me that I would know when I felt like I was done, and I now know what they meant. I am due with number 4 very soon and it feels like this might be the last time I do this. My family feels almost complete and I can see the advantages to having two pairs of playmates.

I also would like to reclaim my body after being pregnant and lactating on and off for the past 6 years. I would also like to see whether it is true when people say your bust will reappear after all this baby making and breastfeeding is over and done with or whether I will be flatchested for ever and ever after deflating breasts post-breastfeeding. I would also like to work on keeping my pelvic floor as hard as steel without then ruining it by having another baby and having to go back to square one. I would also like to get back to full fitness so I can run 6 and a half minute miles again easily for what seems like ages without feeling like my heart might burst. I would also like to move on with my DCs and enjoy them growing up now that my eldest is 6...

misscreosote · 16/04/2009 12:46

6.5 min miles! [gasp]

Starlight - if you come up with a way that doesn't involve a VB or C/S, let me know quick!

happynappies · 16/04/2009 15:36

I thought last time was bad - SPD in late pregnancy, 32 hours of hellish labour followed by painful episiotomy, and SPD worsened to the extent that I left hospital on crutches and couldn't walk (properly) for weeks. I tentatively thought I'd have another and what did I get this time?!! Developed pregancy itching with four months to go, so extreme that couldn't get more than two hours sleep in a block (I must be the only mother of a newborn getting more sleep than I was before!), so consequently haven't slept since November. Had 'slow labour' for a week when I was already overdue, then finally gave birth to a 9lb 13oz boy with gas and air, and remember as clear as day looking into dh's eyes when wracked with contractions and thinking I was being split in two - 'never again'. Since then have had mastitis, two year old dd had tummy bug (still recovering after two weeks), ds has developed reflux and keeps projectile vomitting after every feed, and I have developed the stomach bug... Never, never, never again. I want my evenings back (that would be a start), I want to feel fit and healthy (ha!) and some sleep... please some sleep! Bet I'll be on the ttc forums before the year is out though...

hedgiemum · 16/04/2009 16:18

I'm on my 4th pregnancy - hyperemesis with each of them. I HATE being a pregnant but I LOVE being a mother.

In each pregnancy I've sworn blind "never again"... I even tried to get my lovely consultant with DC3 to tell my DH that I shouldn't have anymore!

First delivery was horrible, but since then I've enjoyed the deliveries (hope that isn't famous last words for this one!) and I also have been lucky in having an easy time with breastfeeding.

Each time, I've got pregnant again in between 15 months and 2 years! THIS time, however, I know this is my last... Instead of not wanting to do it because of how much I hate the pregnancies, I feel like our family will be complete at number 4, like I'd like to really enjoy the baby stage with this one, but then move on to a different stage of our life, and like 4 sets of school fees will be quite enough!

Giving up on more because of a difficult pregnancy/labour generally doesn't stick, ime.

Flip