Anyone laboured without a birthing partner...

[toddlerhip]

... and have any tips?

I had ds2 without a birthing partner as DH was at home with ds1 (GP's let me down at last minute)

Was lovely. Just 1 midwife the whole time who did breathing with me and rubbed my back etc. Very positive and calm birth.

DH bit sad he wasn't there but tbh it was better than ds1's birth that DH was present for.

HTH

Is it normal for a mw to stay with you if you don't have a partner do you know? Mine will be a high risk hospital VBAC if i have it.

I was an average/low risk and she never left my side so i would assume someone will stay with you throughout especially if you are high risk.

DC2 and 3 were both born without birthing partner and i found it really quite easy. Dp was looking after other dc and i think watching dc1 being born put him off. I missed him being there but i also felt i could focus on myself as i had noone else to worry about.
On both occasions mw stayed with me throughout apart from a brief 2 min spell when lady next door went into difficulty. she literally went to the room asked if she was needed then ran back to me.
I was low risk with dc2 and dc3 so would definitely think if you are high risk you will have someone there all the time

I did and it was awful. I ended up labouring all night in the hospital (induction) by myself. The midwives were in their room and I occasionally saw one of them to say hello as I walked up and down the corridore in the dark, but felt very alone.

I ended up having an epidural, and in retrospect I really believe that if I'd had some support I could have done without it. I was just so tired and feeling so sorry for myself and miserable. I think I half did it to get some attention!

I hope you have a better experience.

Ok, thanks everyone.

like lawks, awful induction in hospital being ignored by staff. i was slipping in and out of consciousness, only waking up in the height of agony. i left hospital feeling violated for the next year as it felt like a form of rape. [date]

in my second labour i did not want the midwives around so i planned a home birth.

labour happened so fast i ended up labouring alone as dh was too busy with practicalities and the one time the poor man touched me i told him to gerr off me. midwives got there 5 mins after dd was born. i was on an adrenalin high for the next month cause it happened better than i had dared to hope for.

i did. Was induced but didnt go into labour til 6 hrs after gel applied so no one believed i was in labour. Midwives didnt call my husband. When i got onto labour ward after being laughed at! I was basically lefdt on my own, and 10lb3 ds born bout hr later! But must say giving birth completley on my own wasnt that bad as i had no one to moan at so just got on with it! Just me and my precious gas and air!

i did. Was induced but didnt go into labour til 6 hrs after gel applied so no one believed i was in labour. Midwives didnt call my husband. When i got onto labour ward after being laughed at! I was basically lefdt on my own, and 10lb3 ds born bout hr later! But must say giving birth completley on my own wasnt that bad as i had no one to moan at so just got on with it! Just me and my precious gas and air!

sorry about spelling and double post!

I did, and it was lovely. Didn't need anyone else and I could focus on the labour. But saying that, I was at home and it was for DC4 which I think makes a difference.

If I was in hospital I would want someone with me. You can lose the plot and its good to have someone to check in with you when things change.

Good luck, hope it all goes well.

I had a DH as a birth partner for dd1 but then he was looking after her + others for the 3 other Dcs. All the midwives I had were fantastic and also they had to nip out every now and then I never felt at risque but I had very straight foreward pregnancies and births. can no friend come with you at all if you really are worried?

If it is known already that it will be a high risk birth, I do not think the midwives would live you on your own, I certainly hope they wouldn't. what reputation has the hospital where you are supposed to give birth have?

mine was a high risk birth, in hospital for severe PET. was left on my own. the induction 'wasn't supposed to work' apparently. they fully expected to give me a c/s the next day.

If you don't have anyone who can come with you, or who you particularly want there you could consider a doula (I think there are hardship funds to help with the expense) or a student midwife.

Also you could labour at home for as long as possible which will make everything a lot more comfortable for you.

Would you consider a homebirth? You will have two midwives who will stay with you throughout, and you can transfer in at any time if you aren't happy with it.

Lastly, you could have someone just on hand in the waiting room incase you need a cuppa or something which would just take a bit of pressure off.

I found having birth partners a bit distracting and felt a bit self-conscious (my best mates have now seen me poo myself, that was a special bonding moment), but equally it is useful to have someone to tell you to get up and keep moving when you are knackered and want to lie down.

I will ask at my appt next week what they do with high risk women on their own.

Don't really have anyone i could ask but it sounds like the hospital inductions were the worst for being on yr own. Can't say i'm thrilled about CFM on a bed on my own but i think there might be flexibility on that as they even said they let you use the pool if you are high risk but really want to.

If the mw wont be there i will think about the doula / student midwife idea thanks. Can't have a homebirth this time tho that was the idea first time round. DS1 was 11.5lb so another big baby and a section scar is a risk and i am now obsessed with shoulder dystocia and rupture! I couldn't live with myself if things did go wrong.

I have just trained as a Doula and wished I had had one as I suffered form pre-eclampsia during both pregnancies.
If you would like to find our more about Doulas I would recommend:

www.nurturingbirth.co.uk you just type in your postcode to find a Doula near you
or www.doula.org.uk

Good luck!