Questions on labour

[Tossum]

Hi, me and my partner have a couple of questions and its ages till the next midwife appointment.
What percentage of mothers tear? I know its common, but is it more than likely? (And does almond oil massaging really help?)
When is the soonest you can leave the hospital, dp hates staying overnight on her own.
Thanks everyone.

I believe the earliest you can leave is "6 hours" although I suspect you can leave at any time you like, they can't stop you.

No idea about the tearing % but the almond oil massage certainly won't do any harm - although I guess there is the question of nut allergies so maybe another oil would be better.

Thanks again soup

It's not answering your question as such, but if it's any comfort, I had a tear and didn't even notice. I only found out about it when they said I needed stitches (I hadn't had an epidural or anything). It just sounds like the most painful thing imaginable, but actually isn't necessarily that bad in the event. Good luck!

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I agree about the tearing - I did the whole massage thing (beware the almond oil if you have a family history of nut allergy btw, I used wheatgerm), as it was one of my biggest fears.

I had a super easy labour. However, still tore pretty badly, couldn't have cared less at the time, used gas and air through the stitches, never felt them healing up. It's no biggie.

I was recommended wheatgerm and rose oils for about 6 weeks in advance and gentle stretching (IYKWIM) - good luck

Hi - I used almond oil (and then grapeseed oil when I got worried about allergies) religiously for about 3 months before I gave birth. I still tore and needed an episiotomy - neither were any big deal and healed up fine. Though as perineal massage can't do any harm and could help, why not? You might even enjoy it!!

Hi Tossum, I am a complementary therapist specialising in mother and baby care so I'll try to help.

I used almond oil every day from about 6 weeks before I was due to give birth to my first child. He weighed just over 8 pounds and I didn't even tear slightly.

You might like to use almond and wheatgerm oil combined or you could use olive oil or grapeseed instead. You might also like to take some arnica tablets with you to help heal the area if you do tear and raspberry leaf tea can also reduce the risk of tearing. However see the thread on raspberry leaf tea for my comments on this.

Tossum - can't give you an actual percentage of tears sustained by mothers, but it is quite high. Some will be very slight, just involving skin, others involve some of the muscle layer and often have a stitch or two, and a few are more extensive. The midwife will advise if she thinks a suture is necessary - smaller tears tend to be left alone, unless it looks like they would not heal as well without a stitch - sometimes a suture just helps to align a tear.
Earliest discharge would be around six hrs postnatal (roughly). Gives you time to have a wash and check over, baby to have a feed, and paediatrician to check baby over.
edgarcat does have a point about help with feeding - is this your first baby? If it is, and you plan to breast feed, maybe just wait and see how this goes before making any plans to leave hospital early. Of course your community midwife will be on hand to help with feeding, but will not be there for every feed - unlike the midwives which may be to hand in the hospital - see how you feel

Wow thanks for the response everyone, yeh its our first baby; due mid August. Is it a boy? is it a girl? Who knows!!!!
(actually Mrs ultrasound does, but her lips are sealed)
Anyway dp is reasurred about tearing now.

Wow thanks for the response everyone, yeh its our first baby; due mid August. Is it a boy? is it a girl? Who knows!!!!
(actually Mrs ultrasound does, but her lips are sealed)
Anyway dp is reasurred about tearing now.

Tossum, I had seen last year the result of anb extensive Canadian study on perrineum massage.... the results were very much in favour of doing them if you have (and that is your case) never delivered vaginally - do them properly of course. There is no difference in number of tears in women who do and those who don't do the massage when they have already had a vaginal birth.

As for tearing.... tearing sounds horrible but many tears are very minor and do not require stitching.

Good luck

Wow thanks for the response everyone, yeh its our first baby; due mid August. Is it a boy? is it a girl? Who knows!!!!
(actually Mrs ultrasound does, but her lips are sealed)
Anyway dp is reasurred about tearing now.

You've had loads of responses already but I thought I would just back everyone else by saying that you won't notice a tear. I had an episiotomy with DS1 and I went into a panic about it but didn't feel a thing, they made the cut at the height of a contraction, local anaesthetic and gas & air. DS2 I tore (2nd degree tear), it was a very fast delivery and I did feel a burning sensation but not pain. All the best.

Yep, I can say that compared to shoving a baby's head out, tearing is nothing! I had a 9lb12oz baby girl first time round, and she was posterior (therefore a bigger part of her head coming out) and I had a ventouse delivery but no episiotomy. I had a second-degree tear (deep and muscles involved) and it took about half an hour to stitch me up (I was on the gas and air and telling my consultant who did it all about the time I had given his daughter a detention!!) but within about 8 weeks I was almost back to normal. When I had my son 2 years later I tore back down the same line and had to have it stitched a little (only about 3 external stitches) and it was fine.
But there is so much 'else' going on down there you really dont notice it. And once you have your baby in your arms you don't care!!

My ds was also posterier. They put a mirror down when I started to push coz I didn't believe anything was moving!! So I watched in horror as I burst open!!! I remember thinking "WOW, that doesn't hurt, but it's sure gonna!!!!" If i hadn't seen it happen in the mirror I would never had known until they started stitching.

It took them a long time to stitch me up, but I didn't care coz they gave me back my gas and air.....GRRRRRRREAT when you haven't had a drink for 8 months!

Very sore afterwards, but after a few weeks I was back to normal (or as normal as can be after giving birth...... refer to Weak Pelvic Floor muscles thread!).

Good luck Tossum. And enjoy it!! I did..... am I mad?

Tossum is going to enjoy it - its his dp who's going to be doing the pushing and swearing and tearing, etc....

I didn't get round to using any oil or even massaging and didn't tear. I had an epidural which apparently makes tearing or the need for episiotomies more common but my midwife was fabulous, which I think made all the difference - told me when and when not to push....

OOOOPPS!! Didn't realise Tossum was a man. Sorry Tossum!

I don't think oils can make any difference, they are so superficial - very much like cellulite creams

I guess not tearing is a combination of your midwife's style and your genetics!

Hiya

iused almond oil and didn't tear.
I think the reason I didn't tear though was that she was in a good position and when her head came out I just concentrated on panting so i didn't push the rest of her out and the midwife was able to steer her out gently. I was also standing up with one leg on the bed, which may of helped, certainly felt v natural for me personally.

With ds1 I tore and had an episiotomy. Didn't notice the tear although the midwife said it was quite bad, and it healed quickly and painlessly. The blimming episiotomy was another matter. Painful and slow to heal. If I twisted when sitting down, it was still uncomfortable 2 years later. When I had ds2, I told the poor midwife that I would sue her if she came anywhere near me with a pair of scissors - I said I'd rather tear. Luckily, I didn't!! Tear that is!!

I had an episiotomy with the first and tore with the next three (still can't get it right )
The tearing and the episiotomy I didn't notice but have to say the stitching up after had me leaping to the ceiling - apparently they couldn't give any local anaesthetic to the necessary region and the gas and air certainly wasn't enough. All healed up very quickly though.

The soonest you can leave the hospital is 6 hours.
As for tearing i had an episiotomy and didn't feel a thing although the stiches were quite sore when i got home. A quick tip is you do need this or you tear,if you find it stings when you go to the bathroom run a little water in the bath it will sooth the sting.