37+4 and will we / won't we do HB is really unsettling

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Hello ladies

Me again ? Some might have read my last thread saying the the midwife coming to book me in last week made DH turn the full circle and go back to saying no HB. Then yesterday we saw his sister who lives an hour away. She was at the birth of the other sister's first child (their mum died when they were children so the sisters are close and she seemed a natural additional birth partner) and she was saying that DH should let me do what I feel comfortable with and that she is happy to come out day or night (take leave from work) and be in the house, keeping to herself, and there to help DH or look after DD. Suddenly he felt a whole lot better and less alone and is saying maybe we will go for it afterall if she can get here in time! I have to be happy with having her in the house when I am giving birth, but thinking about it she is probably one of the better people to have here, especially since she has attended another birth and is good with DD. I'd prefer her to my Mum who lives too far away anyway, but who would not be able to resist interfering / worrying.

So, we are back to square one, and it is all unsettling not really knowing what will happen. Did anyone leave the decision whether to go into hospital or not until the last minute? Looking like it will be that way with us at this rate ?

I was wavering a lot earlier on, I seemed to change my mind daily and just couldn't settle on a decision. The thing that helped us make a final decision to stick with HB was that we asked a good friend to be our birth partner, which made us both feel a bit more comfortable as we have not gone through this before and we are glad that somebody with experience of childbirth will be with us.

During my deliberations I decided to not change my official decision from HB - as somebody said to me, you can change your mind and go to the hospital right up until you are in labour, but you cannot decide you want to go home once things start in hospital. So if you are in any doubt, leave it as it is and then you have more flexibility.

It's great that your husband feels happier with knowing his sister will be there, but really you need to be 100% sure it is what you want too, because even having somebody in the background might be a distraction to you when you get going.

Good luck with your decision, as I said we were unsure for several months having been so certain to begin with!

Thanks Loopymumsy and Titmouse

We'll keep the booking as it is and you are right, instinct should kick in at the time as to which is the better option and at least both will still be available. I am feeling pretty ok about the thought of SIL in the house ? more than I thought I would be, because I guess she is the compromise that might get me the birth that I want.

I have everything ready for both situation ? all the homebirth towels and plastic sheeting etc. are at the ready, and the hospital bag is packed so it could all just be sorted there and then. It feels a bit weird and still unsettling not knowing what will happen, but since when the baby will turn up is an unknown in itself it probably doesn't matter. I really want the home birth, and perhaps if DH senses things are going well he will relax enough to let it happen!