Birth debrief tomorrow - how to handle it and what to expect?

[Concordia]

I am going on my own to birth debrief at hospital tomorrow (well taking MIL to look after DS and DD in waiting room - she's 78 and I can't leave them in her house). Feel a bit crappy with a bad cold and six months later can't get my head around what i need out of this alhtough i know i need it. Can anyone suggest what might happen, what to ask?

What do you want to get out of it?

Do you feel there are unanswered questions around why your delivery went teh way it did?

I went through my notes with my antenatal midwife and felt it helped me understand why my labour was so long - also left me a bit angry as no one had told me that dd was face up which was teh reason I had such a painful back to back labour.

It also helped validate my feelings about the birth as my midwife understood that I'd had a tough time of it.

take some questions jotted down with you adn take time to write notes during the meeting.

ask any unresolved questions, however small, and don;t be fobbed off

if you don;t understand or don;t feel you are being answered , you can press for another explanation

it should leave you feeling better

Yes i've got some questions jotted down. i hadn't thought of taking notes thoug, that's a good idea lulumama, as i am sure to forget what has been said even if i feel better. i feel like there was one quite traumatic event which i want to talk through and a few other unanswered questions.

Just to say. I am really pleased i went for this. I spoke to the consultant for 40 minutes. She was very understanding (and had read my notes beforehand). Apologised for the two things that had not gone as they should have done (and have given me a bit of trauma ever since) and said she would pursue them to ensure no repeats (let's hope). She also explained some other queries / niggles i had about what had happened which will hopefully stop me going over them in my head.
she listened to all my questions and handled each one in turn. it was great. i have to say though, it was six months to the day after the birth and i don't think i would have been emotionally ready to do it too much earlier.
if you are considering going for this and feel a bit traumatised / confused by your birth experiences i would recommend it. it has given me a sense of closure that i never thought i would achieve. let's hope that stays.

that is really great and shows that it is worthwhile to pursue things, when a birth has left you feeling traumatised. am glad it was such a beneficial experience for you and taken seriously.