Is panicking way in advance normal?

[sarah76]

I'm nearly 18 weeks pg after a MC and three years of TTC. I got this cheesy parent/baby magazine because it included a free baby name book with it--we needed inspiration. Was flicking through it, and they show pictures of a woman giving birth. I had the weirdest reaction to it! Starting shoving it in DH's face saying 'OH MY GOD LOOK!!! THERE'S A HEAD COMING OUT OF HER FANJO!!!'

I know how ridiculous that sounds. I know where they come from. I've seen videos of people giving birth. But you'd have thought I only just learned....it was so strange, like suddenly confronting the reality of it all happening to ME---it's going to come out of there, and there is nothing I can do about it! It's only five months away! Eeeeeee!!!!!

Please tell me sudden panic is a normal part of first-timerness? All of a sudden, I am terrified!

Tis normal. You won't really know that it is happening when the time comes (well you will know physically - but you won't know physcologically IYSWIM ). You will look back a couple of days later in awe of the event wondering how it actually happened as it is truely beyond compreension in many respects.

I had a similar moment of clarity then I decided to just find out the facts I needed, plan for what I could and then try to forget any fears. I do this with alot of things, I worry about things when they happen rather than what could happen iyswim?

I am fairly level headed in most things. I think that personality trait helped.

lord yes completely normal. i remember going for my 13 week scan and there were ladies with much, much bigger bumps waiting for other appts, and i remember thinking oh my god! if i get that big, then that means the baby must be x big and its got to come out of... {eek, panic, swoon etc}

all i can say is i panicked LESS as i got bigger as the inevitability of it kind of took over. Also as i felt ds kick and move and started to bond with him by singing and rubbing my big bump i kind of stopped worrying about a "thing" coming out and tried to think of it as the necessary journey to meet him and see my baby's face. He became a person to me, not an obstacle.

You'll be fine.

I completely freaked out when I was looking through the NHS book they give you at your booking apointment and saw the birth pictures, for a couple of months after I couldn't open it at those pages and even thought about stapling them together in case I saw them by accident! I think as other posters have said it's quite normal, I used to have this complete dread and phobia of breast feeding too but as I have got closer to birth I am getting quite excited about it - I reckon at some point your hormones take over and you feel less fear.

sarah76 You have just realised that you are on a rollercoaster ride that you can't climb off of. Don't worry. That moment of realisation hits all of us, whichever baby number we are on. Don't stress about it, sit back and enjoy the ride. Your body is instinctivley already doing a million things to look after your baby, its as tho its on autopilot. Its nature and what is going to happen is natural too. Its what you have been designed for from day 1. It might look scary to see the reality in pictures, but I wouldn't be doing it for a 4th time if it was truly terrifying

Just try to remember tho that the baby popping out isn't the end of the ride, I didn't realise that the 1st time round, I was so fixated on the birth as being the end of the pregnancy. I didn't realise that it was the begining of my new life, we think of it as the begining for the baby, but its a new begining for you too! I quickly discovered that I had simply climbed on another rollercoaster without realising it!!

Congratulations on your pregnancy and your new begining...

Its in there - its gotta come out!!.

Millions of women labour every day - you will be fine,theres pain relief and professional support- every push brings you closer to meeting your baby- it just works out ok in the end.

I have had 3 c sects (yes a zip fitted first time round would have been a good idea)- but the pain of childbirth is nothing like the pain of watching them grow and the tears you feel leaving them at school 4 years after you delivered them feels a hundred times harder,so really in the whole scheme of things - the fanjo day really is only the beginning.

Dont let this special time be wasted up by worry look into how best you can cope with labour.

Good luck and congratulations xxx

It cant be that bad psychomum did it 5 times .

I reckon those who have these sorts of worries are the calmest when it comes to the actual event, because they are mentally prepared!

I thought well, there's always a CS if the head won't come out of there...

Funnily enough I did end up having a CS. Which was absolutely fine even tho it was an EMCS. I had faith that if my body couldn't do it then the medical staff could, which they did. Its not everyones cup of tea but at least we have the option.

Birth isn't an exact science, so if I were to give any advice, it would be to keep an open mind and go with the flow, to name but two cliches.

Thank you, ladies. Still in a bit of a panic, but knowing this happens to others helps.

Recently starting feeling movements (not daily), and I think that had a hand in making it suddenly real. Up till now I felt more like I had stomach flu.

I do hope early panicking means calmness later!