First time home birthers and their support squad

[jollyjoanne]

Not a homebirther personally but wanting to offer support to Boobz and others who are going for a home birth . . .

Wow, lovely lovely birth story comeonbishbosh! Congratulations, you did amazingly by the sounds of it - and your DH. Iris is another lovely name
Enjoy your new baby girl x

What a fantastic birth story comeonbishbosh, sounds like you've been listening to the same hypnotherapy CD as me! Well done you, sounds like you coped brilliantly

Thanks all! I still can't stop thinking about it.

Yes fiziwizzle... 3,2,1, relax! Must admit that quite often through the labour I ground my teeth at that CD... maybe it works for some people. Though, to be fair, worth the money alone for helping me get to sleep over the last month or so of pregnancy, anything that helps you practice the breathing is a good thing, and when they were doing the stitches I did find that the 3,2,1, relax mantra helped for those much sharper quick shocks of pain.

To pool or not to pool? Despite not using ours I would probably go for one again (though I'm in the privileged position of having a NHS free loan service in our area). But, being in the bath definitely helped me, and I think you could manage there for quite far into labour. I found I instinctively pulled myself up using the side handles into more of a kneeling position whenever a contraction came on... which would become a bit more tricky when then get more frequent. I would think the end of a bed is better than a sofa for second stage in terms of being accessible to midwives from a range of angles... again, I mostly was on my knees at this time. DH was a hero and was a human table on all fours on the bed so I could lean up on him. Obviously we need to patent this labour position. For the last final pushes I was in a supported squat of the end of the bed.

Tricky, isn't it. As a first timer I think almost impossible to predict what will work for you. But what is so brilliant about being at home is that you have almost any possible combination of furniture to help you, so it's very adaptable to what you find you need.

Just dropping by to announce the birth of our beautiful son on Saturday morning. He was born at home but I transferred to hospital afterwards because of complications (me not him, thankfully). I'll post more later when I'm a little less fragile! We are both fine now.

Good luck to all those still waiting and congrats on the new arrivals.

Congrats verylittlecarrot and evensmallercarrot! Hope you are OK x

Just popping in to say hi, and congratulations to Verylittlecarrot. cant wait to hear the full story .

Boobz - thanks for the support on the other thread i started - i had no idea it would get that heated, but your posts were brilliant reading. im still hoping for my homebirth despite what was said by others. and i still think this little madam is back to back - despite many hours watching telly on all fours with my DH making lewd (and frankly impossible!) suggestions .

but postitive thoughts- she may still turn.

hope you are all well and lookingforward to reading some more positive birth storiesbefore i post mine

Congratulations Verylittlecarrot - do come back and post your story. Do you have a name yet? Glad you got your homebirth but sorry you had to transfer after you'd done the hard part!

No worries mad - I try to steer clear of the debates outside of this thread as it's such an emotional and personal argument which I try to make less emotional with reasoned debate, but you always get the "you're being selfish" lobby coming at you! And seriously - don't let anyone on the phone fob you off with "we're too busy"... just stand your ground and they will come to you - you just have to be strong and believe in yourself... or get your DH to as he will probably be the one on the phone! Like I said, the exact same thing happened to me, and it took them just 15 minutes to find some MWs to send out, so I don't think they were even that busy, just couldn't be bothered to do the proper leg work to get someone out to me (although they did in the end, with some gentle persuasion from DH). And the 2 MWs that did come were AMAZING - totally fabulous, so don't also worry that if they're initially reluctant that the people they send won't be up to the job - they will be.

Congratulations verylittlecarrot.

I'm 40+12 today (just) and feeling rather glum. On Monday my MW told me that they don't 'support' home births after 13 days which is just bizarre IMO. If I haven't gone into labour by Sunday then I'll have to go into hospital daily for monitoring. Which I'm fine with, but if the monitoring shows there's nothing wrong, then why shouldn't I give birth at home? Big sigh. I'm just not sure I've got enough strength to argue with them. I WANT THIS BABY TO COME OUT.

I know that nothing works.... But any hints?!

Congratulations verylittlecarrot I read the birth story - wonderful! (apart from the scary bits, obviously)

fiziwizzle Good on you for standing your ground so far and not even allowing the thought of an induction cross your radar. With my first I got to the daily monitoring stage but had to capitulate to an induction when sciatica (caused by DD1 being so low) prevented me from walking and therefore leaving the hospital after the day's monitoring. By the time DD1 was born wrenched from my body (but that's another story) I was 40+22.

So, what can you do? Prepare yourself for some of the people at the hospital to be very negative about your post-dates status. You are a competent adult who has assessed the risks and benefits and made a choice. If the baby is ready to be born then a membrane sweep would probably tip you into labour. You could try and get the baby to wriggle round a bit by cleaning the skirting boards (well, it passes the time doing something vaguely useful whilst lumbering around the house on all fours). Bake cakes or cook some meals to freeze (pottering about being better than lying on the sofa). Talk to your baby and tell him/her how much you are looking forward to meeting them and ask them if they wouldn't mind making an appearance soon. SLEEP AND SLEEP AND SLEEP (if you can get comfy) - you'll miss it so much! Pray. Look forward to reading your news soon.

Hi everyone,

Did I miss VeryLittleCarrot's birth story on here? I can't see it! How are you doing VLC?

Hi Fizi - you poor thing... it must be so frustrating being so overdue. I guess you're probably in the hospital now having monitoring - I hope all is ok - do come back and tell us what you find out. I second what Motherofsnortpigs says with regards to SLEEP - I know you can't store sleep, but getting in as much as you can now is really important... How is Humphrey doing by the way MOSP?

So, is Sunnybump still around? I see you were due 4 days ago ? any news?

I watched The Business of Being Born this morning - have any of you seen it? Great documentary made by Riki Lake in the States, all about the US / hospital birthing approach and how midwifery (and home births) are a dying breed, which is so sad. I am sending it to my dad to watch actually, as I had a bit of a funny moment with him yesterday. He lives in the States (with his 2nd wife and step daughter ? who happens to be 33 weeks pregnant at the moment)...and we were skyping him and generally talking about our plans pre and post birth (as we?re off to Africa pretty soon after #2 arrives) and he asked me whether I was ?going for another natural birth?? Which I thought was a bizarre thing to say... and so I said ?why do you think I would want a c-section after having had a successful HB the first time??... and he then said ?no, I mean, have another home birth??... and I said ?of course!?. But it all felt a bit weird for him to ask that, as he knew how fab my birth was with Penelope and everything, so I emailed him and said ?do you think I?m being irresponsible having home births? and he replied with ?no, but with Ed (DH) being away so soon after the birth this time, would I be able to manage a home birth this time??.

Argh! So the education job I thought I had done on him the first time obviously had gone in one ear and out the next, and he still thinks that all births should be in a hospital, and that having no pain medication at home and delivering at home is the ?hard? option! I sent a long email in reply to that, with all the reasons why a home birth is easier than a hospital birth, and I have sent him the Business of Being Born DVD to hopefully open his eyes. My step sister is 23 and very immature ? she will no doubt have no trust in her body to do the right thing and I fear she will have a c-section given she lives in the States and that?s the norm there... Hmmm.

Anyway, just checking in to hear any more news... not long now intravenous...

This is VLC's birth story.

See if this first photo link works. DH is remarkably lax about fb security, so someone will probably have emptied our bank account by this afternoon! If it does work, I'll put up a link to a few more, although I have a sneaky suspicion that if you click the link you'll be able to see all the photos anyway.

Humph is great. DD2 is ill in bed though - vomited at pre-school and got sent home! Have to get her out of bed in a minute to go and get DD1 from the same school (dare I show my face?!)

You have such a lot on your plate boobz, try not to worry about your step-sister...

You can see all the photos mospigs, they are all gorgeous [very nosey emoticon]!! I am getting all excited now to see what my little boy looks like
Your DDs are beautiful, you have some lovely pictures of them with their brother. So cute.

Oh MOSP - your kids are all gorgeous - you must be SO proud! Absolutely beautiful - it's made me all teary seeing you all at home and loved up like that.

Awwww. Gorgeous Humph.

And don't worry - you can't nose around the rest of your DH's profile!

Gorgeous photos motherofsnortpigs! So so lovely . You have a beautiful family and it makes me impatient to meet my little one!

Boobz crikey, that's big news about the move to Khartoum...but so exciting too! Sounds like your dad is well intentioned but annoying, iykwim. Am glad you're doing your bit to educate him! My own mother (in her 70s) thinks my home birth plans are borderline insane...so we've stopped talking about it - I just can't be bothered defending it...Ireland (where I'm from) has a highly medicalised approach to childbirth, a la the US, so my siblings (bar one sister) think I'm also insane. It's funny, but it seems they think I'm anti-medicine, which is too ironic for me and my DH since we had to have IVF to conceive (and they all know this), so I therefore love medical science - it's given me my baby. And my DH is American, so I've heard way too many stories about how they approach things there, but haven't actually watched Ricki Lake's film. Luckily for me, my MIL had 3 home births in the 70s and my SIL had her two at home in the 90s so lots of support from them for our plans. They also think the NHS sounds miraculous! Thanks for telling me that how well you got on with the midwives, even though they weren't "your" midwife. I've enjoyed having her for the antenatal care, but I'm hoping I'll have kind of gone into myself enough to not really care who shows up on the day/night

Fizi hope your LO has arrived by now. But MotherofSnortpigs has some good advice.

Big waves to everyone else.

I'm 39 weeks tomorrow, and (mostly) feel all ready to welcome the baby. Frantic cleaning over the past weekend means the flat is semi-respectable now. The pool is set up and I've been relaxing it for about an hour a night (we went with one that has a filter and heating system, so can be set up in advance and used for relaxation pre-labour). I've started acupuncture - prep for birth/induction of labour - as it's offered by my hospital (the Whittington in Archway). I've decided to start (tmi alert!) inserting evening primrose capsules up my fanjo (natural prostaglandins and all that) to help ripen my cervix. So, while I don't think baby will be here anytime soon I'm doing just about all I can to help things along naturally!

Enough rambling from me! Hope everyone else is well.

caitni I want your birth pool. Who needs a dining table when they could have that instead?!

Thank you for all the kind comments about the photos. Told DH that I had posted a link to his photos and he asked if any of the other MNers fancied him (nearly pmsl, but I've been doing my pelvic floor exercises )

lovely photos motherofsnortpigs.

Caitini, I thought I tried everything to bring on labour last time around but i have never heard of evening primrose capsules up your fango

I am 39 weeks today and have started worrying because DD (3.10) has started waking up in the night. I admire the fact your DCs were there MOSP but it is just not an experience I want to share with DD and I was banking on her being asleep if it happened in the night and at her Grandma's if it happened in the day. The problem is she only wants me in the night (unless she knows I am not there) and am worried about her waking at a crucial moment and then getting upset if she can't see me. PIL are only half a mile away and have said they will pick her up anytime during the night but is it fair to drag her out of her bed just in case she wakes?

I really can't decide what to do but am worried that if she wakes and can't see me, she will become hysterical and that won't help at all.

Any advice?

If I were you, I would let your DH and your PIL in law deal with it, once labour starts. If labour starts early off in the day or evening, then take DD around to PIL and make a big treat of it for her... if your labour starts in the middle of the night and she wakes up, I would brief DH to get her and take her straight to PIL - she will be fine and you don't need any distractions.

Just my tuppence worth. Penelope will be nearly 15 months when this one is due, and I've decided to leave her in her bed if I labour at night, and then get DH to take her to a friend's house once established labour kicks in - I don't think ANYONE could sleep through the moo-ing I did last time, so she's better off out of the house where she can sleep!

Thanks boobz, they were my thoughts too. She already knows that at some point we might wake her up and take her to Grandma's and we have a bag packed all ready for her (she helped me do it) for when the time comes.

She is such a sensitive soul I think she would be so upset to see me in established labour. When I broke my ankle last christmas I had to find every inch of strength to talk to her in a normal voice to reassure her that I was OK before she would calm down. Not sure I would be able to do that mid-moo if she woke at that point!

Hi,

I've been intermittently lurking but would like to join officially!

I'm finding your birth stories inspiring, especially the ones that didn't quite go to plan or ended up in hospital. As they say sh*t happens and you just go with the flow! It's good to know it's not the end of the world.

I'm 39 weeks today expecting number one (a little girl, unless the scan was wrong...well it happens!).

I live in Brighton where homebirth is popular and both my mother and my hubbie were born at home. I also have friends who had homebirth so not feeling too fazed by it. yeah right...

Anyway the birth pool is stashed in the corner, I'm cleaning the house like a maniac and the baby is due next Monday.

I was warned by the midwives that "no-one might be available, you might have to go to hospital, blah, blah" but I wrote letters as suggested by AIMs (toned down slightly omitting the threat of legal action) months ago to all and sundry and have been assured they would send someone.

Good luck everyone on here (and waves hello to Caitni who is on my antenatal thread).

I don't know if you've seen the homebirth videos on here or not but I found them interesting.

Hi twofalls My girls were only in the house when I had Humphrey, I don't think there would have been room for them in the bathroom during the action!

One of my reasons for HB was the stress I felt when I had to say goodbye to DD1 when I went to hospital to have DD2. We practised and practised moo-ing and roaring noises so I don't think they were too bothered when it came to the real thing. My DD1 is very sensitive too and we had to discuss every eventuality with her i.e. baby born during the day/during the night/while she was at pre-school/who would look after her if I had to have a hospital transfer. Luckily (that is so the wrong word) we had had to call an ambulance when DD2 was fighting for breath due to croup so she knew a bit what to expect if we had the flashing blue lights scenario.

For us, arming the girls with all the information and indulging in some (frankly hilarious) role plays helped them immensely.

Hey donttry lovely to see you on here too . Thanks for that link, I've snooped around that site in the past but not for a while...so just enjoyed watching a water birth

MOSP at your husband's comment!

Twofalls I know someone who used the epo with her second and, since it doesn't hurt, I thought I'd give it a try!

Anything is worth a go caitni!

MTSP, how was it actually giving birth in your bath? Did you intend to or could you just not get out ?? There was obviously enough space to do it. I just watched an amazing water birth video and it was the calmest thing I have ever seen.

Hi twofalls I didn't intend to give birth in the bath. I got in the bath for some pain relief but labour came on much faster than anyone had anticipated and Humph arrived in less than 90 minutes. I had not planned a waterbirth (DH was a bit worried about the combo of large pool of water and two small and inquisitive children). I only stayed in the bath because the MW said 'you don't have to get out if you don't want to'. At first I was sat up in the bath and then I decided to lie on my left - as I did this the baby rolled from ROA to LOA the long way OUCH! I then stayed on my left with my right leg hanging over the side of the bath and the MW holding it up some of the time, which did make it rather hard for her to catch the baby.

I needed physio to release the muscles in my right buttock and also suffered with a lot of ligament pain, so I wouldn't recommend having a baby in the bath - money saved on birthing pool equals money spent on physio!

Speaking of which...

Home water birth in the bath