DH agreed to HB and now says NO (36+4 weeks)

[soundbites]

Oh dear ? DH has said no to a home birth and we just got it all booked on Saturday! He had a real wobble last night, said it was making things more complicated and that he felt out of control and that having lost his mum to cancer at 18 he wasn't prepared to take any risks, no matter how slight, with me or the baby. He was in tears at one point. I have to go along with it I think. Guess it would give time for someone to get here and stay in the house with DD while we go off ? Need to get my mind in gear for the hospital and repack the hospital bag (which was an 'in-case' bag and not quite as comprehensive as it could be). Write a new birth plan too ?

soundbites - you are the one giving birth, not him. You have to do what makes YOU happy, but try to educate your DH a bit as well. Could your MW talk to him about the pros and cons of a HB? I undersatnd that if he is in bits that isn't going to help you, but maybe if you can bring him round, you will both end up being happy?

Oh dear. I understand your DH's anxieties, but it is now marginally SAFER to have a homebirth than a hospital birth.

I know this is something you are going through together, but after all, it is your body and it is you who will be giving birth,so maybe you should sit down and chat to him about this. Homebirthing is just the most amazing experience, both for mum & dad. He will be SO much more involved, and will "experience" a million times more than he would in a hospital room!

Reassure him that there will be midwives present.
At mine, my dh did nothing really apart from making tea as they know what to do! Also if things start to go wrong as they did in mine they advise you to go to hospital (I ended up in hospital, but maybe don't tell dh this). Mine had huge wobbles a week before and he came around eventually as it was what I wanted.
hope you get the birth you want.

Agree with WowOoo. My experience of a hospital birth was getting very little attention in the early stages of established labour - just a mw coming in every hour to listen in - whereas with the HB there will be midwives continually present.

Apologies for this, but my DD2 was a hospital birth (as was DD1) and thank goodness as when she came out she needed assistance from the doctors. As my doctor said to me, "sometimes they come out a bit grey, and you don't want to be miles away from the hospital when that happens".

I have had 3 homebirths and 1 hospital. My care was far far better at home with two experienced midwives with me constantly. I had to rely heavily on my birthing partners in hospital, and it would have been a very different birth had they not been there.

DC4 was two weeks overdue, and the MW put DP on standby that we may have go to hospital if there was any complications. She was on top of it all the whole time, and I had constant attention and monitoring.

I would say prepare for both. You can change your mind during your labour and go into hospital at any time, but it doesn't work in reverse.

Tell him if at any point either of you feel unhappy or panicked, then you can go in.

Good luck.

And he should speak to the MW directly, find out what equipment they bring and what they do incase of emergency. They bring resuscitators with them.

My GP didn't agree with HBs and refused to come out to the baby's first checks. There seems to be a difference of opinion between Drs and MWs on this.