Getting information

[heartmoonshadow]

Hi,

I was just wondering when the midwife/doctor etc talk to you about what you want to do at your birth? I am 20 weeks pregnant with my first child and I have had little contact with my midwife apart from an initial visit, after this my scheduled 16 week appointment came during her holiday, so I saw a 'supply' nurse (not sure if this is the correct term for someone covering). I have had the necessary scan at 12 weeks and am due for my mid term scan in 1 week.

To be honest I know that I am probably going to regret saying this (as others may feel it is more necessary to see a midwife later on) but I feel that I have been left to find out information for myself and as a first time mum to be I am baffled.

I also have no female relatives that I can ask personal questions of as my mum passed away 3 years ago.

Should I just wait and see what happens and if so what questions do you think I should ask when I go?

Hi!

I would ask you when is your next app?

I can totally understand you as it's your first baby and contact with a midwife can be very reassuring.

Do you have any worries at the moment? Any questions? Maybe post on here and join an ante-natal group on mnet? (sorry if I am teaching you to suck eggs x)

I am 21 weeks at the mo with no 3 and have seen the mid wife at 12 weeks and that was that. I could have seen her at 16 weeks but had to see the consultant at 17 weeks so left it. I then had my scan at 20 weeks so will see the midwife at 24 weeks. I feel fine, the baby is moving a lot and the midwife is only there on a certain day between certain times and I have a 16 month old and a 5 year old so it's not as easy as it used to be!

If you're at all worried then do make an app
xxx

Sorry, just re-read and see that it's a chat about the birth you're after.

I had a little chat with the midwife 1st time round quite late on but wrote a simple birth plan to take to hospital (went out of the window anyway) as you don't have the midwife you've seen throughout your pregnancy.

Hi Muppetgirl

Thanks for the advice I though that maybe I was just being paranoid and I guess I am I suppose it is just lack of knowledge about what happens and when. I have an appointment at 25 weeks so I guess it will come up then.

Do you know if your hospital does a tour of the labour ward etc...? I've found that they are pretty useful as they are usually led by a midwife who works there and who may have a more accurate idea of what goes on than your community midwife.
Other than that I'd rely on mumsnet and lots of books!

Also, is there a NCT group you could join?

I would echo the reading. Read as much as you can ask anyone you can and be as informed as you can. You can make better choices for yourself and lo if you have knowledge of the options and their merits. With ds 1 I really went in with the view of I would just see how it goes, not having anything rigid but going with the flow. As it turned out I was induced so any plans I did have would have probably gone out the window!

I would take all you read in the context with which it was offered though, natural birth books tend to favour natural births and not want mums to have much pain relief, some books are very contentious but still worth having a look in. The best friend?s guide I found good, the mnet book was good (really! I was given it long before I became a mnetter) Gina Ford is fine if that?s what you?re after (more for after the birth) but do remember that you will find your own way and develop your own opinions that?s great too.

Would definitely ask the ladies on mnet, you may not a consensus of opinion but you will get many different thoughts and experiences to help with you feeling more confident and informed.

I would totally get help from mumsnet, I have found it much more helpful than any medical staff. You get a proper consensus from people going through the same stuff as you, or who have recent experience.

I highly recommend the Birth and Beyond book by Dr Yehudi Gordon, I found it covered everything in a nice way for first time mums. It also suggests questions etc. it was not overtly pro natural or pro medical, more pro-mother. it covers the 9 months of preg and the 9 months after the birth, which I found reassuring.

also any friends or cousins can be an enormous help. good luck. we are here if you need us!