Being a Birthing Partner

[jamesgal]

I am thinking of offering to be a freinds birthing partner as her boyfreind is more on than off.
But i have not had children and am worried it might put me off for life!? Also i would have to go to all the NCT classes which might make me feel miserable probably being the only non-pregnant woman in the room.
Or should i be more selfless?
Thanks for any advice!

I was birthing partner for my sister; it was an amazing experience. It came in useful for my own labour too, as although mine was quite a lot more complicated than hers, having seen the stages and how she really used her breathing was invaluable.

If you're feeling a bit jealous anyway, though, perhaps better not to. Only you know that!

I found being a birth partner to my sister very upsetting, I already had a child myself. I found it very hard to see her in pain for hours.

My childless 18 yr old sister was at my most recent birth, she says I've scarred her for life and shes adopting

Im just being honest

I had 3! birth partners when I had dd. One was my ex p (who was an ex at the time) and the other two were my good friends. Only one of them had had a baby at that point. It made not a jot of difference to me, their support meant the world. I don't think you woulbe put off, but I would read up on it if I were you, I think my friend was more shocked at the placenta more than anything It's nice that you want to offer, but from your post you do sound unsure. I think you have to be certain that you want to do this, as birth partners really do make a world of difference to how you cope with labour. When I had ds I had a different friend with me who kept me incredibly calm, it certainly would have been a much different experience if I didn't have confidence in her, and her in me.

Hi, I'm a professional birth companion (aka: doula ;-)!!) and I'd say from your post that you really should think twice, it's not about being selfless, it's about having trust and confidence in women and birth and letting that confidence and trust rub off on the birthing mother - rather than fear and anxiety. Also having an understanding of the process of birth is vital, not necessarily having been through it yourself, but knowing what is normal physiologically at each stage (and not freaking out at any of it) is really important, plus knowing what you can do to help (and hinder) at each stage too.

It's a wonderful priviledge to be present at a birth, but not one to be taken lightly!

Thanks so much for all your comments - very interesting to think about whether I am (secretly or not knowingly) jealous... - this really is food for thought.
Many thanks!

jamesgal Before you offer watch as many 'real' births videos as you can. Childbirth is quite brutal to put it mildly imo. It WILL affect you and YOU need to pe prepared and unphased when the time comes.

jamesgal if you decide that birth partnering is not for you, there will be so many other ways to support your friend - as she gets more pregnant she might need you to help even with every day stuff, and when the baby comes she might realy appreciate somebody there to look after HER so she can concentrate on the baby. My sister was not an ideal candidate for a birth partner but I am everso touched that she wants to come and stay for a few days to help us with just making sure we get fed and things. It's just lovely that people want to be able to do things to help and I'm sure your friend would be grateful that you care enough to be asking these questions.

it's kind of you to want to help your friend, I would think seriously about whether you are the right person to do it. If you are, great, if not, maybe try to think of someone else. have you got lots of patience and stamina? e.g. sitting with her for 20 hours potentially? Are you very close to her and fond of her, like really close friends? Also, are you particularly squeamish or prudish? I'm just saying you should ask yourself whether you can handle it all yourself, she will need you to be 100% there and able to be supportive, even if things go wrong. I would also consider teaming up with another friend just in case, say you're ill or something. so there's two of you on call. I would say the main skill would be that of encouraging her and keeping her going no matter what, not an easy job. Also understanding the process of birth yourself and advocating for her when she's in labour and won't be able to fight her corner, for example if they suggest procedures you know she doesn't want. I would also second the person that said watch some childbirth clips, try youtube home birth. it is gory and scary, but it's not like that for the woman in labour as they don't see the 'business end'.

again as others have said, any help you can provide in the first 2-3 weeks after the birth in terms of just making meals, putting washing on, clearing up etc for her, is really golden help! that's the stuff that's very very hard, almost impossible when you have just given birth, and yet you really need good food and care etc..

hi,

i would love to be some one's birthing partner. I had my daughhter a 14 months ago and ever since then i have decied i would like to experince this experience..

can anyone please get in contact if they would like a 2nd birthing partner.

i am 23 years old and live in romford.

thanks.