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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Labour looming - what to do with older children

20 replies

LuLuBai · 12/02/2009 15:34

As due-date gets closer and closer I still haven't made any plans for DD for when I go into labour. At this rate she's going to be in the delivery suite with me! What does everyone do with their older kids when they go into labour?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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soon2befamilyof4 · 12/02/2009 15:54

If we could afford it - there is a CM up the road but would need her to spend some time there before the day so would get expensive.

That is one thing about a planned section or iduction - at least you have a date!

If I can get DD used to a travel cot then it might make it a bit easier to have her else where

littlelamb · 12/02/2009 16:00

I had this same dilemma. Luckily my ds decided to arrive very early on a sunday morning after a labour that started on the Saturday night so there were plenty of people available to have her. If he'd actually been born on his due date I don't know what we'd have done with dd. It sounds silly but I htink my body was actually waiting for me to relax before going into labour- I was so worried about what we were going to do with her and that was the first day I knew there would be people to help. Ask your friends. I know it seems like an imposition but I bet many of them would be thrilled to be asked.

littlelamb · 12/02/2009 16:01

Or failing that, a homebirth? My second labour was very easy and I do think I could probably have had ds at home without dd even waking up

funnypeculiar · 12/02/2009 16:03

How old is she? Second littlelamb's suggestion that you ask mates. One of my (now) dearest mates became a proper friend rather than an acquaintance because she asked me if I could help with her ds if she needed when she had her second. I was SO chuffed to be asked & trusted .\

Think about how you'd feel if someone (even someone who don't know very well) asked you. It's not like it's a favour you're going to be asking for everyday

threewisemonkeys · 12/02/2009 16:23

i had 2 homebirths for that very reason. first we woke up DS1 to show him his little bro, he said 'cool' and went straight back to sleep! 2nd time older ones didn't even notice me labouring away, they just popped in for a quick peek once baby was born and straight back to computer games!

don't know what i'd have done if i'd been transferred, but figured DH could bring them along if needed.

conkertree · 12/02/2009 16:28

thats a good idea actually about friends - hadnt really thought about that option.

think we will have plans a b and c or soemthing depending on what time of day it all kicks off.

gasman · 12/02/2009 16:46

I was part of a rota to look after one of my friends son when she had DC2. It was a privilege to be asked and I was more than happy to agree.

In the event she had an induction and her parents were around but all of us who participated in the rota were happy to be asked - even the single childphobic man who did the nightcover for me when I was working.....

(Although he was slightly alarmed to learn that the child in question would get up before I would get there from work...)

Original poster

LuLuBai · 12/02/2009 17:13

DD will be 2 when baby is born. I quite like the idea of a rota of people who may be available. I think I will start working up a list. Can stick that to the fridge along with the list of local taxi numbers which I still have to draw up.

OP posts:

pinkspottywellies · 12/02/2009 20:06

I have a friend who I've only known since our little ones were about 4 months (now 2) but I had her ds when she had her home birth last April and she's on stand-by to have my dd when I go into labour in the next 3 weeks!

DD is used to playing there anyway so will be quite normal for her. If it's the weekend, we might ask PILs but depending on how quick it's going will probably just pop her round to friend's anyway as she's closer.

I agree that friend's will be chuffed to be asked and I was quite happy for her to call me in the middle of the night or whatever when she had her dd.

Smithagain · 12/02/2009 20:11

We had two good friends on standby to have DD1 when I went into labour. And we had a little bag packed in case it went on a long time and she had to sleep there. Which was just as well, because she did.

She was only three, but she coped admirably and is still asking when she can go there for another sleepover .

Original poster

LuLuBai · 12/02/2009 20:14

It's reassuring that you all seem to think friends would be pleased to be asked. It does feel like quite an imposition as DD is very lively.

I do worry a lot about the relative safety of other people's houses too. Probably best to pick people who already have kids so have safeguarded their houses.

I like LittleLamb's idea that her body waited until she was relaxed enough to have the baby. Fingers (and legs) crossed my body will be as sensible as that.

OP posts:

funnypeculiar · 12/02/2009 20:24

I would defn go as much as possible for parents with kids of a similar age - they're just naturally be more set up for things. And I agree that having a selection of people is good - apart from anything else, it takes the pressure off you if you know there are a few back ups (in case someone's kid is ill etc etc etc)

Like Smithagain, I had a bag packed up for ds, complete with some favourite toys, & some new distractions, snacks, his milk cup etc. In the end, one of our single mates came over for a couple of hours (until my sister could make it from the other side of London) - he got to go into work late (flexible hours) & be a hero at work for saving a pregnant woman. Everyone a winner

Schulte · 12/02/2009 20:35

For people who haven't looked after the child overnight before... would you write a list of instructions? DC isn't talking that much yet...?

wobbegong · 12/02/2009 20:36

I would be soooo chuffed to be asked.

wasaconventgirl · 12/02/2009 20:39

I have hired a doula who is happy to stay with my DS's if I go into hospital or to come to the hospital with me and DS's stay with my DH.

pinkspottywellies · 12/02/2009 21:03

Schulte, if you would feel happier leaving a few bullet points about his/her routine then make it light-hearted. Perhaps you could discuss in advance.

But put it to them that 'if he/she has to stay overnight I don't want to drop you in it any more than necessary so here are a few things that might make it easier all round, given that he can't tell you himself!'

Original poster

LuLuBai · 12/02/2009 21:29

I did wonder about that exact same thing Schulte. I wondered whether I might be seen as a total dragon if her overnight bag contained a basic bullet point running order of what she has when.

Would probably be her usual meal and sleep times and not to forget that 'Woof' her cuddly toy needs to be tucked up with her at night (unless you want to be woken up throughout the night with a plaintiff voice wailing out "Woof? Cuddless, Woof all gone!?!")

OP posts:

Smithagain · 12/02/2009 21:46

I wrote some overnight instructions, despite the fact that DD1 was talking quite clearly by that time. Quite possibly her godmother tore them up and did things her way - but it made me feel better !

soon2befamilyof4 · 12/02/2009 23:17

I am going to write a list closer to the time, for whoever looks after DD.

Our trouble is, none of our friends have children (we are quite young and the first to get married and have babies!). So I don't think I would want to leave her with any of them really.

I think each day we are going to have to make a plan of who will be avaliable if I go into labour that night or the next day, and just take it one day at a time.

cat64 · 12/02/2009 23:38

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