Private Midwife/Doula

[LuckySalem]

Ok if anyone read my other thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/695428-Just-need-someone-to-help-me-through-my-pregnancy-birth you'll know that I'm a big panicker!

I'm not even pregnant yet but me and DP have decided to make things easier for us that we'd like to have someone there to help us through it.

We can't decide on Doula or Private Midwife.

See the thing is we'd like someone that we can get to know in the time before the birth. Someone who can perform things like Stretch and sweeps, problems in the pregnancy, check (as much as can) baby is facing the right way, as much of the anti natal stuff as possible.
We'd like someone who can either perform the whole birth or at least be there to help us through it and communicate what we want out of the birth (Dp wasn't very good at this part and some of the stuff I wanted was missed, even before it went tits up) I'd like to try for a VBAC at home again and would like someone there who can help me through this as I think it will cause some worry due to what happened last time but I know it will be less worry than going to hospital.
We'd (Mainly me) like someone there for a couple of hours afterwards to establish BFing and help me to have shower etc (deal with baby while I do it, not clean me lol) help DP to sort the birth room out so its not there to get up to.
Also someone who would come and visit to make sure BFing is going well and help us with simple things.

Now if you've got this far congrats. What would you suggest and what sort of price are we looking at so we can save up for it?

hi there, I would suggest that this service could be provided for free by NHS midwives BUT obv it depends on the Team you are seen by.
However I would suggest a Independant midwife as opposed to a doula because as wonderful as doulas are they are not qualified to give any medical advice or perform any medical procedures eg sweeps etc.. A IM can give you a lot of advice about homebirth Vbacs and will give you longer antenatal appts then you get on the NHS.

A lot of IMs have installment plans so you don't have to pay all in one go. I think they cost on average £3000. I'm sure they'll be people on here with experience of IMs who can point you in the right direction.

good luck with the baby making

Thanks Me23. I'm afraid I'm too scared to trust NHS at the mo as I felt too left along during pregnancy and the birth went KAPUT (although not completely their fault) it was the aftercare thats worse which is why I want a homebirth and I don't want to go into hospital AT ALL.

For an idea of exactly what a doula does, have a look here. Apart from the stretch and sweep, a doula will do just about everything else that you want. An IM would be a fantastic option for the birth and antenatal visits, but it sounds to me as if you're wanting a lot of general "handholding" which is much more within the realms of a doula role than that of an IM. And about £2500 cheaper too!

From what I know of your area LS you may struggle to find an IM. I'm not sure there are any left practising in Wales. There are a couple who will travel from further afield though so try looking on the Independent midwives website and putting your postcode in to find out if there are any near you.

From what I also understand of the NHS in Wales you may also struggle to have them support you in a home VBAC.

As others have already said, you would need to have a midwife to perform any clinical procedures such as stretch and sweep but a doula would be good for emotional support and advice on copiing in labour etc.

Is a doula likely to help in getting me my VBAC at home?
Can I take a doula to anti natal appointments before and get them to argue for me

A Doula cannot be your voice unless clearly written down and stated. Although if a Doula went along to antinatal appointments with you, they can certainly suggest things with you to ask and have as many facts and information about Vbac at home as possible. They could also help you research and find out about how your local hospitals deal with vbacs in general. Some hospitals prefer you to try vbac any way if all is going well with pregnancy where as others often want to stand their own ground and procedures that may not really be in your best interest.

There isn't any by us - I would have to get an out of the area one which probably would be more expensive.

I would consider a private birth.

You will get what you want, how you want it, much easier.

Not knocking the NHS, but they are overworked and underpaid and often working MASSIVE hours.

I went to the Portland and they were super, but there are private wings in most London hospitals.

Where abouts are you:?

north wales, wrexham

Actually LuckySalem. You're not tooo far away from a couple of IM's (around 30-40 miles). Try putting your postcode on the Independent midwives website to see who your nearest is. Possibly Liverpool?

I charge the same rate for women who live within a 40 mile radius so you may find it's not more expensive.

Oh I would have thought the IM's would only be able to come around 20 miles cos of the timings. I take it I'd just have to call quicker if/when I was in labour.

I would highly recommend a doula. i have booked one for the birth of my baby and so far she has been excellent. She charges £500 for birth doulaing and this includes use of her pool, birth ball, tens machine, hoempathic kit, aromatherapy kit for labour and books. She is a wealth of informtion, support and help. I feel like I can read all the information I want but this may go out the window at the birth but my doula will be there so no need to worry. She comes for an initial vist then 3 more before the birth and one after to help with anything including breastfeeding. She can also be booked for post natal help, again including breastfeeding advice. I really trust and like her and I feel that is important.

BTW, I orginally booked an IM at a cost of £3k but that did'nt work ou and actually think the douls is more what I want although I hope I get a MW I at least feel ok with - that is a gamble.

Good luck.

It depends on a lot of factors Luckysalem. Such as type of roads needed to travel etc, ie 30 miles on a motorway is much easier than 30 miles on small country roads. Your best bet would be to contact a couple and ask for their opinion/advice, there is no obligation/cost at this stage.

If it helps, I have noticed a big upturn in the availability and seniority of IMs in the last five years or so in many parts of the country, and many of these people are also regular bank midwives in local hospitals anyway, know all the other staff, etc etc. So care can be quite seamless if you use an IM of this type, and things go wrong and you need to transfer in - they know how to get everything sorted.

They also spend an enormous amount of time at ante-natal appointments dealing with all your concerns and queries and helping you find your way through the pg and birth maze. I have hired one for this birth and I am very happy I have done so - I have a complication but she comes up to the hospital with me, chases paperwork and all sorts of extra things.

IM's sound wonderful. Will check out the site and see who I can find - The roads to me are really good as I'm on the outside of a town just off a dual carriageway so shouldn't be too bad (takes us about an hour to get to liverpool so can't be that bad)

Will check up on them and see what they say but can't book as no baby yet!

Hi I'm Overton and just wondered if you'd had any joy with the IM/Doula search as I'm looking for one!

For a HVBAC I would absolutely choose an Independent Midwife, if I had the money. I was an additional birth partner for my friend when she had her HVBAC and she had all her care through an IM who was SPECTACULAR.

Friend had a terrible time birthing her first son - her in-laws were staying when she went into labour, and they interfered hugely, and put all their fear and ignorance of childbirth into her head. She was terrified and in a lot of pain, ended up with an EMCS. She and her baby never managed to breast feed

2nd time around, in-laws were NOT invited. The IM was amazing and my friend had a 9 hour labour, at home and gave birth in the pool. Baby latched on immediately and fed like a trooper