Do you feel positive about your birth - however it happened?

[tittybangbang]

Just cleaning out my files and came across an article about a Mother and Baby Magazine survey from 2005 about women's birth experiences.

According to this 80% said they were 'frightened' during labour and birth and 75% said that their labour was 'more painful than they ever imagined'.

Well, looking back on my first birth I can honestly say that I was frightened, overwhelmed and was in far more pain than I ever thought possible,

and yet....... came away from the experience feeling thrilled by the whole thing - despite the fact that as births go it was fairly complicated and wasn't managed in the way I had wanted (9lbs 6oz baby, forceps birth after long labour, lots of drugs, lots of vomiting, lots of intervention).

Is this a paradox? Wondering how other people feel looking back on their births.

I feel positive about mine. God it was loooooong and it hurt so much more than I imagined and I had just about everything going from birthing pool all the way up to an Epidural, but I am just really happy that I have my baby, she's beautiful and she is what I wanted, not a specific labour story.

I do sometimes wonder what it'd be like to have the urge to push, and to get through it all still being able to feel my legs, but on that day, at that time, I didn't want to feel my bloody legs thank you very much!

I have seen stories from people having had EMCS that they can't remember their labour or afterwards etc and I think that is very , but tbh I can't remember much of the aftermath either, certainly DP kept certain bits of the birth from me because he thought I'd freak out. Nor can I remember much of the first couple of days in hospital, my brain was so mushed that I had DP in on every conversation with a MW or Dr because I couldn't understand a word they were saying.

However as I said before, I thought it was bloody brilliant, I look back on it as something that goes better for some women, and worse for others, I feel happy that my complications only kept me in 4 days and were nothing serious. I won't be rushing to do it again though!

I feel positive just decided that I was going to trust that the hospital staff know what they were doing and don't feel a failure for not being able to push out a 5lb 13 baby. I am just so glad that she's here and we are both OK.

I had an ECS (dd was breech) and don't feel deprived of a positive birth experience because of it. I had superb care and can't imagine that the emotions I felt would have been stronger if I'd had a natural delivery.

'I do sometimes wonder what it'd be like to have the urge to push, and to get through it all still being able to feel my legs'

nah couldnt feel mine after ds4 so no guarantees

The only thing that shocked me about my labour with DD was how long it took. I started having painful and fairly regular contractions on Friday night and she was born on Tuesday lunchtime by EMCS.

It was very painful but I expected that. When my contractions started that night I honestly thought I would have a baby by the next day.

I had a nice birth, I was only in labour for 5 hours and yes it was painful but I don't think it was as bad as I'd worked myself up into thinking it would be! My DS was 9lb 15 1/5oz and no tearing (not sure what that says bout me! DC2 is due in August and obviously I'm hoping for a similar experience, there will be 17 months between them but I was ready to start trying for DC2 after about a month! In hind sight probably not a good idea! However my sister has sworn blind she will not have another after the pain she went through so it just goes to show how different it can be!

My first birth took 56 hours and ended in a forceps delivery in theatre.

My second birth took 8 hours and ended in a forceps delivery due to a big baby with an inflexible head.

I didn't find giving birth more painful than I imagined (I have an excellent imagination ) but I was frightened at points during both deliveries (the urge to push w. ds2 came as a particularly unpleasant shock) but I was completely untraumatized by either birth. Dh was on the other hand extremely traumatized by ds1's birth, so I always get the impression I ought to be.

I feel positive many years later; actually, I think I felt positive just after too. Even more so about the emergency caesarian, funnily enough. I was in worse shape after the vaginal (heavy blood loss, tearig and episiotomy), but nothing that you might call traumatised.

Though I don't think I had that experience of labour making me a proper Mum, or vaginal birth being a wonderful experience that changed my life or made me feel different about myself. It wasn't that big a deal.

The really big experience was a week or so later, when I was at home, sitting up in bed with dd, and dh lying next to me. I sang her a lullaby and she went to sleep, and then he fell asleep, and I sat there thinking This Is It, Now I Am Really A Mum. Very empowering. Much more life-changing than the actual pushing.

I don't think I was frightened either time. Or that it was more painful than I ever imagined.

I didn't enjoy dd's birth one bit - ended up with an emcs and it was badly managed throughout and the recovery was awful. And I found it very hard to deal with afterwards. But I did quite enjoy ds's birth, although it was certainly painful, and felt utterly elated at the end. Would happily do that again.

I fell proud that I managed to deliver both ds's without intervention (though I realise that a lot of that is luck of the draw) and with only gas and air and TENS.

I do however regret not having the confidence to look more into having a home birth, especially with our 2nd ds - we were only at hospital for 5 minutes before he arrived

I went 16 days overdue, induced, that failed, then had emergency caesarian. I found it all very terrible, but more the way that she was born, as I went through so much before the c section. I felt like a bad mother for weeks, and would cry everytime I thought about the way that she had come into the world. Looking back 13 months later it seems really silly, but at the time I felt terrible for having a 'small pelvic arch'!

I am with Peachy:

3 very different all good deliveries:
Induction, epidural, synto drip with DS1, was v relaxed as painfree (well, after epidural )
ECS for bleed due to grade 4 placenta praevia at 31 weeks with DS 2, scary but all good as baba was ok
Drug free vaginal delivery with DS3, had never felt "the urge to push" before, bloody hell!! But was so exhilarating.

Maybe I lack imagination, but I was never frightened - other than for DS2's safety.

I sometime think talking to friends that birth plans have a lot to answer for: nothing wrong with thinking about what one would like for ones labour and delivery, but bear in mind that Nature does what she wants and does not read birth plans

i feel positive about the births. one in hospital, one at home. both straight forward. would never say i enjoyed them but feel lucky that they were both straight forward with no complications or frights along the way.

I feel positive about both my DCs births even though they were both CSs. DD's less so beacuase it was an emergency and things went wrong at the end of a long induction. But I do feel positive now because they both resulted in my wonderful healthy children and I feel lucky for that. I've got over the not giving birth naturally thing, it wasn't meant to be and I feel grateful that they were both ok.

What I can't get over is them both needing special care and not being with me for the first few days. Being separated from them for their first nights is something I will never get over, however silly thay may sound.

First birth - long and painful, coped well but baby was stuck and had an instrumental birth. Felt very negative due to the way I was treated and the horrible aftermath in my girls' bits. I "should" have had the C section that I was asking for once we knew she was stuck, from general medical consensus, and I would have felt positive about a C section.

Second birth - long and painful, but coped well. Baby was stuck, but managed to get her out finally without intervention. Felt very positive and finally was able to put the feeling from the first birth to bed. If I'd have had a C section in this birth though, it would have felt awful (even though I would have had an elective section if DD1 had been the C section that I had requested and that would have been fine).

I hope that makes sense!

I have very positive feelings about both my births - but then I was extremely lucky in that they were not painful. I'd go so far as to say I positively enjoyed DS2's labour/birth.

The euphoria afterwards is like nothing else IME.

I loved giving birth. It was painful and all that - have gone into details before on here - but really got into the whole thing and felt fantastic both during and afterwards. Very lucky never to have had stitches etc and very glad I had home births after first one in hospital - but even that was OK - just got more tired. But the homebirths were great. In fact part of my considering a fourth is just to be able to give birth again.

I think it has been due to luck, encouraging and honest preparation from active birth yoga teacher, fantastic support from DH and the friends who were my birth partners, confident and sensitive midwives and the fact that I never found the prospect of pain frightening.

DD (3 yrs ago)- absolutely not, it was extremely traumatic.
DS (8 days ago)- yes, incredibly so when compared with DDs.
After DD's birth though, the hormones got me through, and I was lucky and didn't suffer pnd (though I would say I had ptsd)

I had a crap time: problematic pregnancy throughout, no idea how I was going to give birth - doctors advising anything from vaginal delivery to vertical incision cesearean-hysterectomy, DS was posterior, after the birth I had a massive bleed, 7 units transfusion, was in ICU for two days and had to have another operation 5weeks later...but the birth itself ended up being natural with no pain relief. I felt like I had been tortured & the midwives were crap but I am glad I got to go through it as it's a unique thing & DS was absolutely perfect after, no marks, no probs at all. Will def have an epidural or c-section next time tho

I was induced and had an em cs 22 hours later (11 hours after labour began properly) due to foetal distress.

I feel very positive about it, I had pain relief (pethidine and epidural) pretty much as soon as I requested it so was never in prolonged, overwhelming pain.

I think I knew from the off that I had a higher than normal chance of intervention as I had high bp throughout the pg and was induced before my due date. So I never felt like I hadn't had a "proper" birth.

I know a few people who had bad 3rd/4th degree tears and I feared that more than a cs.

I have never felt negatively about it. The other day my mil said to dd "Ooh, you gave your mum a hard time" ({hmm}), which suprised me as I don't think I did have a hard time. Yes, the recovery from the cs wasn't a walk in the park but I knew it wouldn't last forever.

I planned a natural HB with DS and he ended up breech. I was devastated, very upset and quite depressed in the lead up to the ELCS. However I found it the most calm and positive experience, op was great, recovery was great and most importantly DS and I were great I look back with quite 'fond' memories - if that's the right expression

Mine was not a positive birth experience - it was utterly terrifying. The three days of contractions were ok and to be expected but the following emergency c-section was so frightening. Even more frightening was that DS had a heart condition (discovered in labour) which meant he was taken straight to SCBU with no skin to skin contact from me. In fact I only saw him for 30 seconds before he was rushed away. I then didn't see him for a further 16 hours as I was out of it from excessive blood loss, a reaction to an anti nausea drug and sheer exhuastion. I couldn't even make it out of bed to get into a wheelchair.

Added to that I wasn't able to even hold/cuddle or breast feed DS until he was five days old as he had so many tubes and was in an incubator.

I'm now pregnant again and due in 10 weeks and to say that I'm shitting it is an understatement. I'm not really overly concerned about how he comes out (still not sure if I should go for VBAC or ELCS) but the main thing for me is I get my skin to skin and bond. I didn't bond with DS1 for a long long time and as a result had PND for a year. Oh what a miserable post! Hopefully in ten weeks or so I will be able to finally put all of this to rest.

1st - was terrifyingh and horrific.

2nd - was still pretty scarey but looking back i see it positivly.

Have had 2 uncomplicated births

I consider them to be positive experiences

Interestingly, the thought of doing it again (should I decide to go for it) scares me shitless

I'm a weirdo

1st birth - long failed induction ending in c-section. Grotty hospital with shoddy care. I felt shell shocked and like I had been treated barbaically by the hospital staff. I developed PND and it took me probably two years + to really get over it.

2nd birth - geared up for a VBAC, did loads of research and felt very positive about it. Complications in late pregnancy meant I had to have an elective section. Nevertheless, it was a wonderfully positive experience. Lovely hospital staff, extremely emotional and wonderful birth experience, felt so much happier and more relaxed once home. I am still on a high from it 3 months later . I would do it again tomorrow, but DH has put his foot down