To push or not to push - that is the question!

[mersmam]

I'm very interested to hear of anyone's birth experiences (good or bad) where mothers have relied completely on their own instincts about when to push.

I'm expecting my 4th baby, and while my first three labours have had good outcomes (gorgeous healthy babies and no major interventions) they've not exactly been positive and wonderful experiences! The last two times I've had the urge to push an hour or two before being given the go-ahead by the midwife (either because the midwife hadn't arrived or because I was told not to push yet).

Things I've read since then indicate that perhaps if I'd pushed GENTLY when I first felt the urge things would have progressed more naturally and quickly and less painfully. However, I am a bit apprehensive about relying purely on my own instincts... and also wondering how the midwife will react when I tell her I don't want to be examined at all!

Any thoughts or experiences would be very welcome!

thanks for that treedelivery...I'll be going to bed now thinking about anal gapping

yes tree delivery - i made a noise like that and the midwife said "we like those noises!"

my midwife said something about the rhombus???? any ideas tree?

also, my midwife was at my side, i had a bed infront of me and my feet were at the wall behind me, so don't think she could see an awful lot - though my bowels didn't open on either babies!

When i was in labour with dd1 i pushed when i wanted to as urge was immense .When i had dd2 i was on my own anyway so pushed for all i was worth.

oooo was there a student about?

This page tells you all about it - cos I'm 39 weeks and trying to remember such technical detail would make me fall over

this page

Topical chapter for this thread but the rhombus is page 91 if you fancy a bit of engineering! It's an amazing thing our pelvis!

I was in the observation room with my DH, pretty much unattended as there were a couple of emergencies going on at the time and I was a non-progressive induction (they thought). So when stage 2 labour started there was no one there to tell me not to do anything. I resisted the first urge to push because I thought I was going to mess the bed, but it hurt so much to resist that when the next one came, I just thought what the hell and carried on. Of course, there was a surge of fluid onto the bed but I didn't care.
So I carried on my own sweet way until i felt the head crowning (actually felt DS moving down, didn't know where to or what through) so suggested to DH he might like to go for a MW as the baby was coming. MW sauntered in, until she saw the head then it was ninja MWs and action stations - THEN they said don't push but only while they checked he was ok, and I only had 2 more pushes and he was out. So, another 5 mins and DH would have been delivering him!

anal gapping
I knew that I was pushing the right way (even though neither of my DBs wanted to budge) as I gave myself piles each time.

thanks for the link treedelivery! fascinating stuff!
no, no students there, but it was so relaxed, that she was talking to DH and I about it - I was so chilled out! My second DS's birth was the most positive thing I have ever experienced.

God when I read the chapter on op positioning I have no idea how I got dd out. I did everything 'wrong' in terms of mechanics. Was in water but still managed to sit on my backside!

My DH actually studied A level biology in college with the one midwife - we just chatted away and i carried on doing what i was doing, whenever i needed to!

Most people say they pushed when there was an overwhelming urge, but what if there is just a little urge? The question is should you fight against it or just give a little push (!!)?

With dd1 I had the urge the push and they refused to believe me- I had to insist on an examination! They then wheeled me naked down a corridor with a blanket over me (dignity, what dignity?) to a delivery suite, which was a horrendous journey! For me I remember it feeling like retching to be sick, only at the other end- very weird, but no way you can stop it!

With dd2 I told them I needed to push and they let me carry on- it was a really nice birth, 2nd stage less than 10 mins.

I think with ds, who was OP, I had to be encouraged to push, as it hurt more and I was too out of it with the G&A (which the meanies then took off me-harrumph!) In fact, I remember point blank refusing to push any more, and telling DH "YOU bloody do it, then! I'm not doing it ANY MORE"

So 3 very different experiences, which I think was more down to the position of the baby than anything else.

MrsDoylesMole, when you pushed with your second labour did you feel nervous about it? Did you try to stop yourself from pushing or did you just go with what your body told you?

JJJ - you made me laugh at the thought of you telling your DH to "bloody do it"

• yes, he was a bit perplexed!

that is SUCH a good description, joolyjoolyjoo: like vomiting but at the other end.

with dd1 i had no urge and they told me when to push.

with dd2 i was absolutely not in control, my body was and i couldn't have stopped pushing even if my life depended on it.

With both of the boys I couldn't have NOT pushed - even so the midwives at each birth both said if I was feeling the need to then to go with it gently.
I was examined at 6cm with DS1 and then got into the pool and not examined again until I started to panic about the pain of crowning (had been pushing a little before then) and was told it was all ok to just go with it

2nd time I was examined at 5cm and got into the pool and 1 hour later DS2 was out - wasn't examined at all after 5cm, very much just told to go with my body.

2nd degree tear both times but I now know that would have happened anyway due to an old injury.

oh yes: dd1 was 40 mins of pushing

dd2 was 10 seconds. literally. they caught her still in the sac while i was standing up.

I was on my bathroom floor with noone but dp to help so i thought to myself i just have to get on with it.My contractions were just rolled into 1 iykwim? so i pushed with all my might and went with my body.From 1st twinge to dd2 being born was around 50 mins.

I remember screaming at all the labour ward 'you might as well tell me not to breathe whats the f'''''g matter with you are you simple gggruuuuuaaarghhhh'

Mersmam - I think you and mw will have to play by ear, and I think that as it's your 4th giving some pressure against the urge probably won't do any harm certainly, as the cervix is so responsive. If moving position take the pressure away then chances are its not birthing time and the pushes will not cause decent of the head anyway. And they wont be too exhausting for you or the baby either. It's the big wild sustained pushes that are ill timed that can do mischief.

MrsDM that is just the labour I want (DH is not so keen though!!)

Thanks treedelivery - that's very helpful advice.

I'd take any labour at the mo. Whole of Jan 09 antenatal thread seems to be heading for elephant pregnancy lengths. Although we have had 3 in Jan. We had more in dec!

I hope it all goes well (and quickly!) for you treedelivery.

And you! Good luck.