Can I have a HWB in a tiny flat??

[KittyCrackers]

Hello lovely clever mummies...

I have a little dilemma I'd like your collective wisdom on please. We have been house-hunting for aaaaaages but haven't found our perfect little place yet... so we're stuck in our teeny one bedroomed flat for the next few months.

DC1 is due in April and our landlord has already said he's fine with having a newborn in the flat - she'll sleep with us anyway, and we can move a few things around to make space for the crib etc. 15 weeks and counting - and I'm getting so excited!

My problem is that the walls are very, very thin so I reckon my planned HB is out of the question now! If I can hear the neighbours going to the loo at night, then they'll definitely hear me pushing out a 9lb mini-munchkin!

Has anyone else had this problem? What did you do? How did you get around it? Am I being too sensitive to even consider the neighbours' comfort here? I have my heart set on a lovely water birth at home, but I'm not sure how relaxed I can be if I'm constantly worrying about noise levels... Not to mention the dilemma of how/where/what to do with the pool... that's a whole new ballpark...

On a related note, if we decide to go the hospital route, do they let you take your own pool in at all? we're booked in at Epsom and I think it would make me feel better if I KNEW i could have a water birth, even if it wasn't at home...

Looking forward to your input! Happy New Year and XXX !

When I had ds I lived in a flat, top floor, narrow stairs, rickety floor. I had my heart set on a waterbirth too, in fact that was what led me to home birth as there are no pools at the hospital. In the end we didn't have the pool due to the floors being a bit unstable and us not being sure they could stand the weight of a full pool but I still had the homebirth. Didn't worry about noise levels to be honest. I don't think they would let you take a pool to hospital but if a homebirth is what you want then go for that even if you can't have the pool, the best part about homebirth is being relaxed and at home not having a pool.

Bumping for some more wisdom...

Hi Kitty,
I'm in a medium sized 2nd floor 2 bed flat (expecting dc2 in March) and my midwife told me we would have to have a structural surveyor type person to inspect our flat to see if structurally it would take the weight of a birthing pool! Anyway we had a builder friend round and he said that our floors wouldn't be strong enough

It's a real pain but I've come to terms with it now and to be honest I don't like the man downstairs...so don't particularly like the thought of him hearing me groan!

My first birth was in a birth pool at the hospital, they have designated rooms for their pools but it's worth asking whether you could take yours. Alternatively is there a birth center near you? I'm planning a 40 min trip to our nearest center just so I KNOW I'll get a water birth...ds1 was quick though so maybe I'll be doing it on the way!

what are your neighbours like? Could you let them know - I mean, its only going to be one day or night out of their lives and if you gave them notice I am sure they'd be understanding?

If its during the day they might not even be there and if its at night you could always put some loud (yet soothing!) music (or TV) on if you feel you would be embarrassed. I would suggest though, that you probably wont care much what the neighbours think by the time you are at the yelling stage! Also, you might turn out to be the strong silent type - everyone is different.

I think it would be a shame to let the noise issue get in the way of a homebirth if thats what you want (I had one five weeks ago and am a massive advocate).

We can hear our neighbours too. I told them that we were planning a HB, and when the baby was due. That was good enough for them; as it happened they didnt even know until they saw baby a few days later.

You could even post them a letter if you are worried about speaking to them

I didn't even consider a homebirth when DS was due because we lived in a flat, and I really wouldn't have been impressed with hearing a neighbour give birth either.
People in other flats might find it distressing. (sorry!)

I had a home birth in my very small house with thin walls. Bugger the neighbours, it is only an hour or so that there is any noise and people have much louder parties. When it comes to the noise making bit you won't care what they think anyway! But if you aren't on the ground floor you will have to take advice re the pool.

We just decided not to care about the neighbours! It was more of a worry where we were going to put the pool, but we figured out a way in the end. Just wanted tosay on the structural thing that 95% of the time it is fine. Surveyor friend said to me "Would you be comfortable with 20 people standing in the room...cos that weighs more than the full pool!" You cant take your own pool into Epsom but they do have one pool there if I remember correctly. (It is v small though! )

I am guessing that 20 people might not be standing within a 6ft circle though!!!

Kitty, I'd agree not to worry about the noise. Yes you might want to scream a bit but ime most neighbours find it all rather exciting! Mine did, although I was in a detached house, people kept popping by, like the postman etc, while I was mid contraction. It was a little bit embarrassing but there wasn;t much I could do about it lol

I think they were all kind of proud that a real baby was being born on the street.

I've known a lot of women who had a pool but never got to use it because it wasn't full in time or when they did use it it didn't help much. So keep an open mind. (I tried a bath but it just made me feel more out of control tbh)

Good luck!! x

(if your flat is as small as mine they would be standing in a 6 ft circle!! )

from reading about similar concerns on the home birth yahoo group, other women have taken the time to inform their neighbours of the plan and have found their neighbours supportive and thrilled rather than annoyed that their sleep would be disturbed. after all, it is a one off event as well.

at indith

la bassine pool is the smallest.

if concerned about strength of floors, try to set it up in a corner of a room with load bearing walls, eg, like two outer walls.

Oh well fair enough then