I know second births are quicker but would you say your second was a better experience

[Benjy]

If so, in what way? Was there any difference in pain between first and subsequent deliveries?

I had an awful time with DD who is only 5.5 months and have recently discovered I am pregnant again and will be doing it again 12 months after her birth.

From first contraction to birth was over 40 hours. Contractions started 5 mins apart within 12 hours were every 2ish mins lasting for 90 seconds. Became too exhausted and in too much pain to continue without relief and asked for an epidural, which was finally given to me 8 hours after I requested it. It was a low dose and did nothing for the pain in my back, which is where I felt the worse of the pain, or across the top of my uterus. But did mean I had to lie on my back, which was excrutiating. Machine also failed to work properly which midwives only discovered as I was in the second stage - had previously been telling me off for making too much fuss when all I was feeling was 'pressure'. Would like to think I can have a better experience second time.

2nd delivery was twice as long! But the 2nd baby was a whopper so maybe that made a difference. However the whole labour felt different, and I didn't feel in control at all, unlike my first one.

lying on your back ,with a painful back labour is the worst thing to do. if you had a back labour and it was long, it might have been your baby was back to back, and the best thing for that is to be upright , on a birth ball or all fours to take the pressure off your back

i would look into having a homebirth

i had an emergency c.s first time and a straightforward VB second time

i was a lot, lot more clued up and made sure my birth partners were able to support me properly and help me have a better experience

what machine didn't work?

it was better as it was slightly shorter, I used less pain relief, iirc I pushed for less time, healed down below much quicker too

First - a nightmare
Second - a dream

Both textbook

The machine that administered regular doses of the epidural. Each time the epidural was replaced it forgot where it was in the cycle and so I didn't get any more top ups whereas a new dose should have been given every 30 mins.

Lulumama, I was upright and active for the entire birth up until the point the epidural was given. I tried sitting on a birth ball but found that sitting was unbearably painful - I could only stand.

My second labour was MILES better than the first. I couldn't believe it! I had a terrible labour with DD1, although it wasn't long (10 hours from first pain to birth), I didn't feel in control of the pain at all and I ended up having a failed ventouse then forceps delivery. My second labour was longer, but so much easier and I look back on it feeling very positive and happy. I also have a similar age gap to yours

My second labour was def a much better experience than the first. They were both straightforward. But the second was really short, and I was able to stand the whole time, feeling I was much more in control of the situation.
Congratulations on your second pg!!!

my first labour was an epic horrific experience thats lasted 75 hours and ended up with me in stitches.

my second was a much better experience and i only wish i had allowed myself to enjoy it more.

For me it was better. DS2 was slightly smaller 8lb 7.5. It was quicker so more intense but at least it got it over with sooner plus with ds1 he had had to be revived and I had bad pyrexia and it was all a bit uncomfortable and stressful.
My third on the other hand was a nightmare

2nd was much better. dd took 25 hours and I thought i was going to die (despite it being a fairly straightforward vaginal delivery).

ds took 6.5 hours and even though the pain was pretty much the same I think I knew what to expect so wasnt quite as bad and I looked forward to the good bits like when they give you G&A and the bit where it stings and you just pant, and the tea and toast

epidural can prolong labour , you might well find that if you have a more active labour, with different pain relief that allows you to move and listen to your body, rather than remaining immobile, then you might have a better time of it

also, no doubt the stress of the epidural not being effective would not have helped

did oyu try any other pain relief first/

ds wasn't any quicker but was definitely easier.

there was less panic and i knew what was coming next.

Congratulations!

Both my births were very good - I was really lucky. I had a dry labour first time (waters went before 1st contraction) and it was definitely more painful. 2nd time was shorter and between contractions I felt absolutely normal - even right up to last push. 1st time round the pain was constant. I really recommend water birth though if you can. I didn'tr intend to have one 1st time round - if I'm honest I thought it was a bit hippy and weird but when the pain got too much and they said the pool was free I thought I'd give it a go. WONDERFUL! The warm water was so relaxing and I really loved it. Needless to say I had my second in water too. I know it's not for everyone but it was wonderful for me. Good luck with it all!

Lulumama, I tried gas and air but found it did nothing for the pain, hated the way it made me feel and it made me feel very sick so I won't be using it again.

you can try, TENS, water, massage, diamorphine, meptid/pethidine, aromatherapy, mobility, vocalisation

hypnobirthing also very good

DS's birth was not great - was in and out of hospital for three weeks before he was born due to suspected (eventually confirmed) pre-eclampsia. Actual birth not so bad until his heart rate started dropping, had to have probe attached to his scalp, had a forceps delivery (he was fine ) and than I had a 1500ml PPH and had to be sewn up in theatre (2nd degree tear) for two hours after he was born, and had an epidural post birth. Labour was about 20 hours from waters breaking to birth.

DD's birth was loads better . Was at home when contractions started, went to hospital, labour progresed nicely. Only mistake was having diamorphine as I had in DS's birth as it sent me to sleep and I had no urge to push. However, scary doctor woke me up and out she came. No stitches , not so much blood loss (only 400 ml this time) and the whole thing felt more "real". Labour lasted about 6.5 hours from first twinge to birth.

My second birth was twice as long as my first but virtually painless (naturally).

I'm having my pain 15 years later as we go through GCSEs

I have had two 'textbook' births but I remember the first as being a scary experience where I felt totally out of control. I remember thinking (hoping?) I was going to die and having no confidence in myself to actually give birth.

The second was at home and I used a pool. I didn't need any pain relief, even gas and air. It was shorter than the first labour but the huge difference this time was feeling so in control and knowing what to expect. That in itself made the pain feel less intense because I wasn't tensing up and trying to fight the contractions. I was able to just go into myself, trust my body and submit to the experience. That's not to say the last hour (transition and 2nd stage) was not pretty terrifying but up to that point, I genuinely enjoyed the labour. Hope yours goes well this time. The close age gap may be an advantage as I've heard that the body 'remembers' better what it has to do when there is closer gap.

I had a relatively easy birth (4hrs start to finish!!) with dd1, but I preferred my experience with dd2 (3 1/2hrs)- it was just FAR more relaxed, although that may have been to do with an older, more experienced mw, who listened to me when I told her I was ready to push!! There were 17 mths between my 2, and I did feel much more in control 2nd time round.

2nd was by far and away the better, the only thing wrong (not the right word) with it was that it was too short.

Why was it better? I had been through it before, it was quicker, it was easier (although I grazed with ds2, and had no grazing or tears at all with ds1), it was at home, I was in complete control.

Yes, second was better (though still hurt!). Second labours tend to be shorter on average. Difficult to explain whether it's actually less painful... it's probably more that your body has been through it before, so you know how painful it's going to be. I had gas and air for my births. The first time around I got to the point of wanting to die rather than continue, whereas the next time I knew that I would actually survive!!

First - dead easy
Second - long and dreadful

Although I am one of the exceptions to the general rule I think!
Good luck.

My second was a infinately better. First was a long painful pre-labour. No sleep for 3 days and then augmented so had epidural. Contractions stopped at 9cms and I had to push out without help of contractions and DS1 was grunting so had to go to special care.

Second labour was only 4.5 hours start to finish. Got to hospital 10 mins before DD was born. It was painful but managable and I felt in control. I felt wonderful afterwards and fell in love with her right away rather than feeling like I had been in a horrible accident like after DS1.

DS2 was a different story though..was induced and it was very quick and VERY painful!!!!

1st- 10 hours, but 4 hours of final 'pushing' stage on syntocin drip, then bad tear BUT easy, relaxed baby from word go.

2nd- induced, broke my waters 6 hours after 1st gel. dd1 was born within 20-30mins of this VERY QUICKLY. No time for morphine to kick in. I tore badly and threw up immediately after she was born. She screamed hysterically for hours and was a very different baby from ds.

3rd- induced, exact same procedure BUT I asked for an episiotomy. DD2 was born after 2 pushes and I hardly felt her coming out. I had a small graze and a few stitches and a lot less blood loss. She is an easy and chilled out baby.

Not quicker, but a better experience as I got her out myself rather than having a butcher doctor haul her out. The exhaustion got to me more first time around too, probably because second time around I could tell that it was going to take ages and so took every opportunity to rest and not get my hopes up (only to be dashed).

The pain was exactly the same.