Not entirely sure I want DP to see me giving birth.....

[madmadmadwoman]

Thought I would come round to the idea after nearly 8 months but I haven't! He desperately wants to be there...but legs akimbo, waters breaking, pooing - agh!! How did/do you feel about it? Or when it happens will all pride go out of the window?! First baby so all advice needed pls - am getting panicked!!

when that baby is coming down your birth canal you won't give a stuff whos there to see what...honestly!..you'll just want the baby out!!

dh is squeamish about everything (tsk get a grip man) has managed to cope with two births and hasn't gone off me (6mths preg with dc3) and i've no idea if anything else happened down there. but with the birth of ds1 i screamed like a wild animal caught in a trap (apparently) and lost my voice..its an intimate moment between the two of you and its good to see them coping.

i got quite teary during the transitional stage and need lots of hugs then...

I did not poo.

You will be in a frame of mind that only exists in labour & birth & you might not even be aware of who's there or what else is happening around you. Plus your dh will be so amazed & proud of your giving birth.

I pooed with ds2.

Dh has mentioned it pretty much every day since.

I pooed a lot but I did have diarhea for 2 weeks before birth and dp does keep reminding me which I hate. That is why I didnt want him there and why I would have him there again next time.

by the end of it all you just won't care My MIL was there while I was in labour and kept expecting me to ask her to leave - I never did because I was somewhat preoccupied. I was also scared of pooing in labour but it didn't happen.
you could give your dp strict instructions to stay away from the business end, but my DP was at that end when DS was born and hasn't been switched off me one bit!

I don't understand all this thing about pooing during birth like it's always going to happen - I didn't poo myself when I had my daughter. In fact my mw told me if I felt like I wanted to poo, she would escort me to the toilet but it would probably be the baby's head pressing down. If it happens, it happens... but it may not.

My Mum accompanied me and didn't budge off the chair until she was bidden by the mw to hold my dd. Tbh, it was better that she was there, having had 4 babies herself than my squeamish ex-partner.

It didn't happen to me but then she was born at 7.13pm and I hadn't eaten since breakfast. I don't recommend that though, you need your energy and I was famished by the time I got onto the ward. DH had to get a Tesco sandwich for me. Great. This time I am having a homebirth and a slap up dinner after.

Just tell him to stay at the head end.
Anyway, all pride does go out of the window. You'll want him there when the time comes.

You won't mind when you get to it, as everyone else has said. My midwives were very discreet at cleaning up when I pooed a little bit. Poo seems a lot more normal anyway when you've had a few years changing nappies, tbh! So your DH may as well get used to it.

If it was him giving birth to your child wouldn't you want to be there? Would you care if he poo-ed?

I think the placenta might be more shocking than a bit of poo - not something you see every day!

I didn't poo, fortunately as dh was in the birth pool with me.

He says he wouldn't have given a damn though, and that seeing me give birth to our son was the best experience of his life.

It certainly hasn't put him off my body , he says knowing what it can do makes it even more attractive.

I had shown him some videos of water births that were very graphic, so that may have helped in that he knew roughly what to expect.

Please elaborate on the placenta part!

Well, dh spent a good 20 minutes with the midwife closely examining the placenta (apparently it had more membranes than usual)

By then you are holding your baby and absolutely nothing else in the world matters.

Oh, just that to me it seems huge and in some way alien, coz you've never seen one before.
Mind you, the baby seems that too

I wish men did give birth. I would love to be there but not actually doing it. So much better at holding hands and bringing cups of tea than pushing

Have decided I am just going to keep my legs crossed and it will all be fine......

hathor LOL - my MIL has had five kids and said it was so much harder watching me go through it!
I didn't get to see the placenta - I wish I had though. DP wasn't shocked by it he was more fascinated, but then that's the kind of person he is.

legs crossed good luck

DP was at the birth of both of our DCs but stayed firmly at "the head end" as hes a bit squeamish TBH.

I couldn't imagine not having him there -he was someone to boss around ("get me a glass of water/lipsalve/turn the radio up/down" etc), a hand to squeeze and nearly break fingers of, someone to yell at, someone to hug, etc.

Also we found it such an emotional and moving moment when they were actually born that I can't imagine not having had him there. There aren't many moments quite like that in your life.

I always assumed that DH would be there for my daughter's birth, but then I always imagined that I would have a pretty straightforward natural birth. I actually had a planned c-section, he was there and I couldn't have done it without him.

However, it was pretty tough on him - he didn't want to see the operation at all, but found that when he was sat down he couldn't help but see things out of the corner of his eye. He did skin to skin with my daughter immediately after she was born but when they started to close me up they used some sort of hot tool which apparently made a terrible smell and he literally went white and almost passed out - the midwife caught DD just in time. I don't blame him at all, I'm delighted that I didn't have to be anywhere near the business end.

He would definately do it again, it hasn't put him off, and as I say I wouldn't be without him, but I think it all came as a bit of a shock in reality.

Hope I haven't sounded negative and I'm sure that you will have a great natural birth, but we certainly didn't consider what a c-section would be like, even when we knew we had to have one, so it might be worth preparing for before just in case.

If you're not comfortable having him there don't have him. Or as others have said give him some strict guidelines. I do think you need someone there to represent you though in case you find yourself in a position where you are not able to clearly express yourself and what you want. Does he want to be there? (totally your decision, just wondered)

i pooed a tiny bit but it just landed in the general pile of waters/wee/meconium that was gradually collecting under me and the mws just flipped a mat thing over it. my dh saw the ick, the ruined fanny after as they put me in stirrups, and the placenta and he's still up for sex as much as i let him

I didn't want DH there for the really biological bits, he did a lot of back rubbing and hand holding, Then when I felt it was getting out of control I asked him to leave - we had discussed it earlier and he accepted that's how I wanted it. He was fine with it, came back in just after the birth, and has bonded with baby no problem at all. To each their own.