Questions for those of you who had a baby that got seriously stuck during the pushing stage. What happened next time?

[ShowOfHands]

I pushed for 6 hours during a planned homebirth before I transferred to hospital. I ended up with 3 ventouse attempts, episiotomy and attempted manual rotation. This all having failed, dd was born by em cs. She was LOT, head on one side (ventouse scar by her ear) and her head was moulded to my pelvis. She did not descend at all from beginning of 2nd stage to em cs, even the ventouse made no impression.

So... if your baby got stuck and you went on to have more children...

Did you manage a vaginal delivery?
Does having already dilated to 10cm and had a good go at pushing mean it's not like a first labour all over again?
Did the same thing happen again?

I've just seen that you've described yourself as a "bloody idiot" for dithering about having another baby. My DH would probably say the opposite as he likes the definition of stupidity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result!

For what it's worth, we have very severe fertility problems, so it was probably easier for me to have fertility treatment, knowing that it was very unlikely to work. I went into it with an "at least we'll know that we tried" attitude, and it came as a huge shock to actually get pregnant! I ended up having counselling to get me through the pregnancy, and I pushed to get professional opinions from people with lots of different angles on the situation. Even so, it wasn't particularly easy, and I did have a few nightmares and teary sessions. It also dragged up some stuff from my previous delivery, which was compounded with the pregnancy hormonal roller coaster, and I posted some ranting on MN that has since been deleted (at my request).

So I wasn't really that brave, as I needed a lot of hand-holding throughout. DH was great though, and made sure that he was really well educated about the delivery and my preferences. I also really trusted the team that would deliver DD2. Without any of those things I would have had an elective CS - no question.

MrsTittleMouse thank you for sharing that. And I reserve the right to think you brave, more so now having read that.

It's extremely difficult to even discuss my fears of ever having another or the leftover bitterness of having the last because of this overriding awareness that I should just be grateful to have a baby. I was told as much once by another MNer and made to feel selfish for dwelling on this. Not at all her fault and I bear no ill will, she had a poorly baby. I feel guilty thinking of pregnancy as a time of fear and unhappiness should I ever do it again when I was overjoyed to be pg first time round (it took a while and a mc).

I switch between wanting to say no more and feeling relieved that I don't have to confront it and profound sadness that I may never push a baby out the way nature intended, depriving dd of a sibling and myself of the big family I always wanted.

I never dreamt it would be so complicated.

dd2 shot out like a cannonball after very little pushing

Dd2 was back to back and was delivered by forceps... ouch. Dd1's birth had been complicated too for different reasons. Ds however, popped out quickly and easily and was the smallest of the three. Don't despair x

Ds was back to back, got stuck, got distressed, had one of those head-monitors put on, it took ages, I tore badly, pushing him out took hours adn two midwives argued over whether to use ventouse or forceps, in the end I did it myself, the whole thing was a nightmare. He was 7lb3.
With dd I was terrified of the birth. But she was in normal position (I had regular scans to check and if she had not been they would have turned her-I think, not sure tbh- or recommened cs)
She shot out with only 4 pushes, it took minutes. She shot out so fast she nearly shot off the bed. I tore badly but to be honest it was all over very quickly so I did not care She was bigger (8lb4) but the labour was definately easier.

Oh these are encouraging stories.

I shouldn't google really as I've been looking at 'deep transverse arrest' which is what dd was in apparently and I keep reading that it makes my pelvis 'unproven'. I can prove it. It's right bloody here.

I'm particularly enjoying the 'my second/third just shot out' tales.

Really must change my name back to ShowOfHands.

showofhands, dd1 was transverse op - turned with high forceps then pulled out with forceps and ventouse (with no drugs - ouch is an understatement ). As I say, dd2 and dd3 were no problems at all, despite dd3 being back to back she turned during labour . I recommend a pool if you can as the positions you can get in really help babies positioning.
Has anyone mentioned the Optimal Fetal positioning website? google it.

(went into labour with dd2 at 2am, got to hospital at about 3.30am, she was born at 4am )

Hi! love reading everyone's stories! I think all you who have babies are amazing!

I put this on another page too (not sure exactly how this works so am putting it here too! sorry if thats bad etiquette - now bad spelling?!)

But I was asking about the pushing bit, if anyone felt they were told how to push by the midwife (even if they/their bodies) knew how to do it or if they were told they weren't doing it right or anything and how that made them feel?

bit waffly! sorry!