if i can't have an epidural, pls give me some tips on coping, kind words needed

[bigboydiditandranaway]

Already have 1 dc, only had g&a, as i asked for an epidual too late.

If i'm not able to have an epidual, please can you give me some kind words to help me through.

My best friend a nurse was present and was my 'doula' for want of a better word.

And while DH was slowly going crazy waiting for DD to arrive my best friend walked me up and back down my contractions with the gas and air.

As I had a contraction start, she would walk to the top of the stairs. Up one, two three four five etc, as I slowly (or not so slowly) breathed in the gas, if I needed it. When I had peaked, she walked me back down the other side as I breathed out, Down two, three four, five.....

It helped me focus on the way the contraction worked, helped me see the end of it, and was fantastic.

No epidural.

Sorry, to add. As she walked me up the stairs, I actually imagined them, going up each step, then saw the top, then back down to the bottom.

Good luck

well,you have already done it once without, so you know you can cope !

there is TENS, water, massage, mobilising, vocalising, gas & air, pethidine/meptid, diamorphine and finally epidural.

so you have ltos to try

remember second births tend to be quicker and more copeable with as your body knows whta it is doing, and you know your body can do it

you will do just fine!!

epidural has downsides too.

or you get to hospital as soon as things kick off and ask for one immediately!

You can arrange to have an early epidural I think, are you under midwife or consultant led care? my consultant reccommended me to go in in early labour so they could put one in. He said they can put the epidural tube in ready before they give you any anaesthetic, should you decide you don't need/want the epidural in the end.

But if you don't have one, just remember your deep breathing, hold your partner for support if that helps you. Ask for help/pain relief when you need it, and listen to your body, go with the positions it tells you to go into. You'll be fine.

I know how you feel bigboy. With my ds i had tens and g+a, by the time i screamed for an epidural i was 9cm dilated and in total agony. The midwife just laughed at me!
Because of this experience i was dreading my labour with dd. But i shouldnt have spent all my pregnancy worrying.....my 2nd labour was faster ( 6hrs instead of 12), i was able to cope with the pain better because i knew what to expect. I managed on tens and had gas+air inbetween pushes! Even if had wanted an epidural, there wasnt time. Incidently my friend had a hard 1st labour so went to hospital when she felt her 1st twinge in her 2nd labour and demanded an epidural at 1cm dilated.
I would advise you to...

• Read Hypnobirthing by Marie F Mongan, this really helped me to focus on my breathing.
• Remember your labour is likely to be shorter and easier 2nd time around.
• Consider using a tens machine for early labour....mine really worked well especially on the journey to the hospital.
• Try to relax...esier said than done i know but it really helped me.
• Remember that the pain wont last forever and that when the babys born its just sooo worth it.
• If you think you're going to want an epidural mention it to your midwife early on as it may take a while to get an anaethetist. Its not a cop out!!

Try not to worry...good luck

Hypnosis

thanks for your support
Feeling more positive now after all your advice.

My dd is 7 weeks old tomorrow and I had my heart set on an epidural. As it happens my labour was only 2 hours so only had paracetamol and gas and air!! I coped well with the pain and was actually glad I didnt have an epidural as I was walking around once they had put some stiches in. I would defo do it with only gas and air next time unless I was in labour for ages! Good luck x

Glad you're feeling more positive bigboy

Bigboy, as you have done it before without an epidural, please feel positive. You'll be fine.

Also to add I have a friend with 4 DC and had an epidural with her first but not after that. She says that without epidural is better

thanks for your messages, i feel a bit easier about going with the flow now, but still do hope to have an epidural!!

I had an epidural first time, and not the second - and the second time was much, much better. I won't have a third, but if I did, I would definitely prefer the non-epidural option!

Good luck, you'll be fine!

If you managed a first labour without an epidural, then the chances are you'll be fine for subsequent births. The first labour is usually the longest and most painful as it's the first time your body has done it! Having a good midwife to help you breathe through the contractions was a real help in my experience

Have an epidural- both mine were posterior and I loved my epidurals. They meant I could actually laugh at the end of pushing rather than scream

I had the radio on my favourite station and shouting the songs loudly through the contractions kind of helped. I had an epi. for the 1st and gas and air for the 2nd and 3rd. I kept asking for an epi. during the second and got handed a large inflatable ball instead because the anaesthatist was busy. I felt like shoving the ball up the midwives ass.

If you want an epi ask for it as soon as you arrive so they can get prepared.