those of you who did not tear or need stitche....advice needed

[mad4mybaby]

when i had ds i had a 2nd degree tear and the sewing up was more painful than birth. He came quick at 4 hours and it was so intense i didnt have time to think about positions etc and gave birth propped up on the bed. Also no one prepared me for how much pain id be in afterwards. I couldnt get upstairs unaided and couldnt sit without a pillow for 8 weeks.

I also put in my birth plan i wanted as much help as poss to prevent tearing. I remember them holiding something on perenium but think that was all the help i got. That and panting.

Now pg with #2 and really want to avoid tearing/stitches at all costs esp as i'll have a 2 yr old running round. Those of you who did not tear please can you tell me your experiences and what i can do to help tearing? Im desperate to know there is hope for me!

I didn't tear at all and had a 10lb er!Didn't do peranial massage and was just on back to give birth!

I did perineal massage religiously and needed an episiotomy (which wasnt as sore as expected - 10 days later its like it never happened)
Consultant said area was not stretching due to the amount of excercise I do. I also did a lot of pelvic floors and think that that helped with the recovery. I'm not sure if it can be avoided as such - I think you just need to prepare for it. Would advise pelvic floors and Arnica

3 deliveries (biggest 9lb 4oz) and no stitches with any. No special tricks or massage, in fact I probably did everything you shouldn't. Do remember midwife said redheads tear (or was it bleed?) more and yes, I'm a redhead. Did have a bad PPH with DD though.

I think it's just luck.

i only had grazes with my first two, my sister said that if you dont tear with first you re less likely to tear in subsequent births, is this true ?? i hope so ! my other fear is because the gap between my last and this one is 15 yrs, its going to be like a first time

I did no preparation prior to either delivery.
I had 2 very fast births,second was 50 mins from 1st twinge.I tore very slightly(classed as a graze)i am left with a rather odd looking piece of vulva ,i presume due to the way it healed.

I tore with my first but declined stitches
healed nicely and cleanly no problems 6 years on
also a VERY quick birth and no time to focus

I was very worried it'd tear again with number 2 , midwife said that's a possibilty and she'd do everything she could to prevent it

I didn't tear at all just grazes but this time I knew what was coming etc

I massaged olive oil granted not daily but when I remembered and had oily baths

I focused more on my breathing this time as I cleared my mind first time I had so many people getting in my head I had no time to think about what my body was saying so learn to swutch off!!
I was on all fours and I did lots of pelvic floor exercises with every downward I was taking a deep breath and letting my body work

good luck !

mad4mybaby i think its really important to listen to your body and do what its telling you. I know giving birth on your back is supposed to be THE worse idea but ive had three relatively quick labours with no tears/stitches. I had to be on my knees over a bean bag or cushion in first stage but as soon as i instinctively knew i was fully dilated i had to lie on my back to push. I think it helps that i didnt really talk, so although the midwife tried to convince me to stay on my knees to deliver i just ignored her and turned over.

Hi M4B
I had 3rd deg tear with first baby and he was only 2.99kgs so was determined that I wouldn't go thru that second time around. I totally sympathise with your situation too. Just had no 2 14 weeks ago and was up and running within hours, even better within days. The key is not to be apprehensive and to be very decisive about what you want. That is NO TEARS. Be firm with the MWs and make sure that they control your labour well. I had pethadine with no 1 and felt that it took away all my ability to reason and was therefore determined no opiates this time. I had gas and air and sat on a huge birthing ball for most of the labour, then at 5cms had and epidural. I was very clear about wanting this, and even at the 11th hour some MW tried to disuade me. I am not saying it's the right choice for you, but I did find that it took the panic out of my mind, I was more relaxed and ds just eased her way down without any problems, before I knew it she was there. My contractions pushed her down then 3 or 4 very controlled pushes later she was out. Much different to the first time.

Don't be worried about it happening again, if anything this time you and your body know what to do and you'll have a much better understanding of what's going on. Do research on every type of pain control etc, talk to the MW before hand and discuss it with your DP.

Good luck and hope it goes well xx

Haven't read all posts, but my midwife was brilliant and made sure I waited for each contraction before pushing - not easy when they were 5 mins apart for the whole labour! I also did perineal massage and gave birth in water using some hypno-birthing techniques. I just had minor grazes.

Good luck!

only read op sorry am deluged with stuff to do
But for me stopping when felt the crowning, that burning feeling. Briefly held breath panted and breathed them out
Also upright births with all 3
No perineal massage at all.
Midwife helped me with 1st and I managed it myself with next 2.
Good luck

found perineal massage too weird! 1st degree tear with dd1, none with dd2 (8 10 and 9 10) - also on back and also quick. I think a lot down to mws. I've tried the Irish and English systems now, and both times was really lucky to have great mws who really looked after me "down there".

I'd like to say I relaxed and breathed into it etc etc but I was in fact a wailing banshee who would have mortgaged her grandmother to stop the damn pain...

I hope you have a lovely mw too!

With both my babies i gave birth on my back propped up with pillows with my feets right up by my head and only had slight tear both times that didnt need stitching, babies were 8lb ers. I was told by a friend who is a midwife that the most important thing to do to prevent tearing is to listen to your midwife, so that the crowning and delivery can be controlled ( panting instead of pushing).

gave up perineal massage after first go, too messy/
I did try to follow the push / don't push instructions.
I do think it's mainly down to luck though

definitely massage but you don't have to do it much tbh, i did it every now and again in the shower that was all, not religously at all. i think it made a huge differance with things returning to normal post birth too.... dp swears he can't feel a differance since having kids (he's lying but there honestly isn't much)

don't push against your body, only push when your body pushes and stop the second your body stops (you'll only understand that one if you don't have an epi i'm afraid). use breathing excercises and self hypnoses to keep in control of your body

kneeling or standing positions are best

dd was 7lb4 and a rushed birth due to complications and had her arm over her face and i only needed 2 stitches in my labia.

ds was 8lb10 and also had his arm over his face and i had no tearing at all.

i think the only reason i had any stitches at all with dd was because of having to push her out quickly, if i'd been able to go my own pace i doubt i would have.

Sounds the same as me! First labour 4 hours beginning to end. Had to have 24 I think stitches which was a horrendous experience.
With number 2 was 3 hours (but back to back). I wouldn't push until I felt I was really desperate to push. Ds2 arrived on the second push (had cord round neck so stopped him arriving with the first) with a graze for me. Was completely different afterwards to the first time and I felt fantastic. The experience really helped me lay a few ghosts to rest.
Second time I felt I knew what was coming next instead of needing outside input, so was able to follow my instincts. I feel that's why it was different.
Don't know if that helps.

its wierd because i dont understand the 'breathing' baby out instead of pushing. BEcause it was so quick with number 1 i had no time to relax/think about what was happening. contractions literally didnt stop till he was born and i did listen to MW and she did tell me to pant and stop etc, i remember he kept going back up as i was trying to push him out. Does this always happen? I know i'll be a bit happier going into labour as first time round was petrified as didnt know what to expect! I remember a head MW having to come in and check my ear to see if i need to go to surgery and i think they said it was borderline 2nd/3rd tear. I was like noooo please not in surgery so my MW did it.

The MW im seeing are nice enough and can talk to them but the chances of having them deliver isnt THAT likely. Saying that i live in a smaller area so less MW so maybe ill be lucky!

I had a waterbirth with DD1 and ended up with a 2nd degree tear - and the stitches were more painful than the birth! Felt quite sore afterwards too.

DD2 was a waterbirth too - just a slight graze that needed no stitches and felt right as rain a few days later.

Both times I gave birth lying on back/floating in pool - just the position I felt most comfortable in. I tried kneeling but it didn't feel right.

yes see this is my biggest problems with needing stitches 2nd time is that firstly YES stiched up hurts sooo much more than the birth and also as i said at the beginning i have my 2 yr old ds and yes thankfully my DH will have a few weeks off but will need to get back to 'normal' life for his sake (pre school etc) i know it'l take time but want to do as much as i can NOT to need stiches!