Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Would you want your midwife to have experienced pregnancy and childbirth?

74 replies

Moomina · 08/02/2005 19:07

Following on from a couple of comments on another thread, and a conversation I had today with a friend - in real life! - do you think it makes a difference if midwives are also mothers?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

WideWebWitch · 08/02/2005 19:54

Yes I think it makes a difference because I really don't think you can understand labour unless you've been through it. BUT I know there are fantastic midwives who haven't had children, 2 of them delivered ds and were brilliant and so no, I don't think it matters if midwives haven't had children.

WideWebWitch · 08/02/2005 19:55

Hadn't read the bit about Odent, er, he's wrong on this one IMO!

motherinferior · 08/02/2005 19:55

Several MNers - Pie and Dannie among them - have been somewhat surprised by marvellous MALE midwives. Who certainly couldn't have given birth.

I know Odent introduced waterbirths and all, but boy does he make me want to bop him on the nose.

Amanda3266 · 08/02/2005 19:56

Well Mr Odont - that's me out then. Crap labour 10 days overdue ending in an emergency section. Never have I been more pleased to see an anaesthetist.

All women are different and all have different labours - the midwife's skill should be in adapting to each one.

happymerryberries · 08/02/2005 19:56

FWIW, my mother would have told me to shut up and not make a fuss, and she had delivered 2 kids. I think people are either sympathetic and empathetic or they are not. Going throught the experience doesn't make you any better in some cases. It might improve the best a bit, if if they are crap and lack understanding I don't think it will change things that much

coppertop · 08/02/2005 19:57

Until my pregnancy with ds2 I would have said yes. During my 1st pregnancy I was under the care of 3 midwives who all had children of their own. My MW with ds2 was a man and was brilliant. He was very supportive of the decisions I made and really went out of his way to help me. I wouldn't have swapped him for a female midwife with her own children.

happymerryberries · 08/02/2005 19:57

Ah yes Mr Odent who thinks that a high section rather is the reason some third world countries are dangerous places to live. Good science. Not!

Amanda3266 · 08/02/2005 19:58

Worked with a fantastic male midwife in the south east. Crappy hospital though so it shall remain nameless (I'd never have a baby there). Offer me a choice between some of the midwives there and my male midwife friend and I'd go for him every time - even if he hasn't given birth. He was present at the birth of his two children though.

kama · 08/02/2005 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

kama · 08/02/2005 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Amanda3266 · 08/02/2005 20:06

Oh don't you just love it when they say "don't scream".

PuffTheMagicDragon · 08/02/2005 20:07

Not bothered. Had a male midwife for part of the time when ds2 was born. He was great.

motherinferior · 08/02/2005 20:10

Hmmm. Maybe this is also about 'what would you like from a midwife...'?

I wanted someone who understood that I was in pain, and could suggest a few things to cope with it (like keeping breathing) and whom I could work with and ask for what I needed, and who would also be able to take charge at the point where it all got overwhelming. I didn't want someone to tell me what I shouldn't have, or that I was being a wuss or - until the point where I really did need bossing, because otherwise I'd push too early and damage myself - boss me around.

I don't think you need to have gone through labour for that. And labour is also such an individual thing - both mine have been different, and that's in the same woman - that basing other women's experience on your own (especially if it was a huff-puff-it's-out one, shudder) could be quite unhelpful, really.

Fran1 · 08/02/2005 20:14

I had an absolutely fantastic midwife. Had never met her before, i'd guess she'd have been in her mid 20's and she had no children. I only found this out after my delivery and a few days later was thinking wow she did a really good job since she hasn't been through it herself!!

NotQuiteCockney · 08/02/2005 20:16

My independent midwife had had no kids, although she's now pregnant. And she was lovely. Ok, I never really had her for labour, but the women I know who did, were very very pleased.

I think sympathetic and attentive counts for far more than personal experience.

Angeliz · 08/02/2005 20:17

Yes!
The midwife at my dd's birth was fantastic and encouraged me all the way and i managed with just gas and air (only cause i was already 7 cm's dilated when i went in), with her support and advice.
I would hate to have a male midwife myself, it's requested on my birthnotes for female staff where-ever possible. (But i have a thing about male Doctors anyway!)

motherinferior · 08/02/2005 20:17

But please, I do not want Monsieur Odent anywhere near me. I mean I wouldn't, if I were to have another baby, which obviously I wouldn't, oh no, definitely.

MistressMary · 08/02/2005 20:18

oh yes.

expatinscotland · 08/02/2005 20:24

I was in so much pain during labour, I wouldn't have cared if the midwife was a Martian, as long as she was helping me get the baby OUT.

edam · 08/02/2005 20:26

Commissioned an article once on midwives who had had children after practising (midwifery) for several years. They said 'you can be a good midwife without having children' but having their own had changed them - the one that sticks in my mind said something about never again underplaying the pain of labour. She really hadn't understood just how overwhelming it can be until she'd been through it herself.
So, I don't think it's a requirement, but I do think midwives who haven't been there themselves should pay a lot of attention to women's experience of labour and LISTEN to the women they are treating rather than dismissing them. But then so should midwives who have had easy deliveries.

motherinferior · 08/02/2005 20:29

perhaps we should make it a requirement that only midwives who've had a truly crappy labour are allowed to qualify. I like the sound of that.

Original poster

Moomina · 08/02/2005 20:31

A truly crappy labour - and a bitch of a midwife attending them...

OP posts:

WideWebWitch · 08/02/2005 20:32

Well said Edam. I agree.

WideWebWitch · 08/02/2005 20:35

I was told not to scream too with dd, ooh it makes me cross. Although dp said I was panicking and wasting my energy with screaming. Yeah right, and all he had to do was hold the entenox bottle ffs, wtf would he know?! And that midwife had children so there you go.

logic · 08/02/2005 20:36

I had a midwife look after me antenatally who didn't have kids and she was absolutely fantastic. She just seemed to know exactly how I felt and the stuff she told me beforehand made my labour much less stressful. Then, in the actual labour I had a student midwife who had 4 kids and she was marvellous. The other midwife at the birth was fine too but if anything slightly less sympathetic. Don't know if she had kids though. It's just down to the person.

No-one ever told me not to scream though, that's ridiculous. They should try not screaming when the gas+air has been taken away, you've dropped your TENS controller and the head is coming out. TMI?

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread