Dh has changed his mind about a homebirth so what do I do now?

[rosmerta]

Sorry for long title but dh has agreed for me to have a homebirth after initally been terrified of the idea!

I'm 20 weeks now, and my next m/w appt isn't for another 4 weeks. Should I wait & talk to them then about it or should I ring up the maternity unit & see if I can speak to someone sooner?

tia

Expat - it might be worth asking if the hospital has room for your dcs to come along with your Dh?

My friend mentally could not do without her dh being there (long story!) and therefore gave birth with him there and her two other dcs in a waiting room next door reading and playing on nintendo etc

They don't, and that's IF I can give birth in the MLU, which is all there is out here.

If not, I'll need to go into the big CLU near Glasgow.

The trust does have policies in place for getting people there urgently - emergency ferry can be called up if it's outside operational hours and there is time for this; helicopter if not.

It's part and parcel with living in a rural area. Services are largely centralised to larger areas - that's how it works.

I know at least one MNer has gone on her own because her spouse needed to look after the other children. She's still alive to tell the tale!

If it's at the MLU here, then there will be two midwives with me at all times. And as a bonus we get treated by the same one at every appointment.

FWIW, I do not want my children anywhere near me when I give birth.

I would not be able to relax and I think it's not a good idea for them, to see me like that.

I went very fast with DD2, and the look of fright on DD1's face I'll not soon forget.

My MW will never discuss it properly til I get to about 36 weeks. I always say that's what I want early on, so it's kind of in their heads, but 36 weeks is the earliest they're happy to do a homebirth here. They generally are reluctant to do a homebirth unless you have an entirely straightforward problem-free pregnancy (although you can still insist) so they tend to take the line 'there's no point planning at this stage'. So plenty of time yet, just mention it at yr next appt.

good point lovage - that's what they said to me too, that they only allow homebirths for low risk pregnancies and you have to have been pregnant long enough for them to consider you low risk

that sucks expat. would your sis be willing to make a trip over around your due date to visit? i know you could do it without you dh, loads of women do, it just seems unfair to have to do it without him.

i didn't mean to sound patronising btw, i didn't realise you were in such a remote area and thought you were talking about homebirth arrangements (hense presuming the girls would only have to be gone for a few hours) sorry.

we live in the middle of nowhere too but have some good neighbours with tonnes of their own kids who wouldn't even notice one or two extra so will be relying on them for a homebirth. probably for a hopsital bith too as my mom is 30 mins away from us (and takes an hour to get out the door) and hospital is 45 mins from us (in a town with manic traffic)

My sister is a high-school journalism teacher with her own family, who will all be in school in October (no half-term break in the US).

Sometimes, you just have to get on with things.

Starlight, you poor soul! Still no work round?

you could advertise for an MNer who wants a scottish holiday with minimal childminding duties

october is ages away, you could win the lotto before then and hire a whole flock of doulas for yourself

sorry, can't resist.

weren't you planning on going down to london for the birth or something though.... i vaguely remember somebody saying that and i thought it was you.

i would never go to London for a birth.

i don't like London at all!

must have been someone else.

wonder who it was then?

did sound like a mad plan whoever it was, they didn't like the local hospital so were paying for private bloods and scans and then legging it to stay with someone (sister?) in london around their due date so they could just go to her local hospital

i don't know anyone in london. i've been there a couple of times, but i didn't like it.

my sister is in houston, TX.

starlight, where'd you go? any joy sourcing some more entenox?

expat - what's sn?

she has special needs, ilove.

starlight,

I live near a BOC depot.

Shall I try and get friendly with one of the drivers?

But seriously, if you do run out of gas and air mid labor, am sure they will get you more, won't they?

Starlight, my midwives had four cylinders, they tried not to tell me when they discovered that actually one was empty, but I spotted one of them winking at the other and demanded to know why! After each contraction I was asking if there was still enough left, till I realised that it was probably really, really annoying them and I decided to trust that they would let me know if it was a problem. I have a copy of my notes and I used one small cylinder altogether. I was not using it constantly, but I was not holding back at all either. It ran out 1.5 hours after I started to used it, when the mw was checking to see if I needed any stitches. If you use it constantly (which is not a good idea, cos the effectiveness is not as good for conts) then it might run out in 20 minutes. You will not be using it constantly, you will use it when you need it and not before, I bet you will only get through one or two cylinders and be really chuffed with yourself afterwards. You have to remember that you are having a different baby and it will almost certainly not be like last time. If you don't chill out though you will not go in to labour at all and end up being induced, so chill, don't worry, it will all work out.