hands up who thinks childbirth is awful

[candyfluff]

surely i cant be the only one who thinks its the worst thing that ever happened to them?????????

As others have said, the pain is relative - I had a short and reasonably straighforward birth with DS (god knows what this one will be like), no pain relief other than TENS. An ear infection months later was FAR worse, awful pain and it went on for longer.

Stop looking at youtube and ask on here about experiences of childbirth!

and I think it is perfectly normal to havea reaction to a traumatic experience, whether childbirth or anything else. Lots of info here:

www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/

These are a few extracts from my birth announcment thread for DS4

"Because of the whole big baby/lots of water stuff when I was PG I was now convinced he was going to be massive because only a small gush of water came out when they broke them.
I was convinced I wouldn't get him out, I was begging for someone to pull him out too. His heart rate was dropping dramatically with each contraction so the MW was telling me to push harder.

"I just couldn't do it. It felt like my whole insides were coming out. It was truelly the worst experinence of my life. "

and finally this one...

"I really can not explain how awful the whole birth was after my waters were broke. It was only about 40 minutes but it was absolutley the worst, most horrifying, scariest experince of my life. I honestly cannot find to words to say how awful it was."

So yes, I did think childbirth is awful after that.

I went through a phase recently of wanting No5. All the brrodiness was at full power. We even had a few days of actually trying.

MY GOD...I cannot tell you how glad I am that I'm not PG. I feel like I had a lucky escape because I've fallen PG without any trying before.....I'd be about 6months PG by now if it had worked.

I am finished with the baby making palaver.

yes, I agree the anticipation is worse. When it's happening you just get on with it.
Worst bit for me was that pushing was very hard work and I was so tired, by then it was almost over.

It is by no way close to the worst things that has happened to me.

Yes it was painful at times, but I never felt out of control. There are techniques you can use to help you relax and roll with the contractions. If you fight them you make them worse. I think a lot of it has to do with accepting that this is what your body has to do to get the baby out.

Candyfluff - I would also recommend you talk to someone about your experience. You can't go on forever feeling like this, talking through it with someone will help you understand, learn to live with and cope with what you have been through.

It was the most shocking thing that had ever happened to me. I felt out of control and tortured (by the midwives who would not let me walk around and I like an idiot did as I was told), and in the end I looked like I had been in a car crash because of all the bruises.

Then, when my daughter was about a year old she was ill and we had to go live in the hospital for a few weeks. I had to pin her down so that the nurses could give her meds and stick needles into her and so that the anaesthetist could knock her out. That was the worst experience of my life and I would cheerfully have another 36 hour posterior labour ending with forceps and a cs if that would prevent us from ever having to set foot on a paediatric ward again.

You see? It's all relative.

Birth was not the worst thing that has ever happened to me, but I found it horrible and traumatic. It only took 2.5 hours and was completely straight forward. Yes it hurt but I don't think that that was what was traumatising I think that was the sensation of being completely not in control of myself and the general fear!!

it was worth it though, and i am going to do it again in a few months

scaryhairy, that sounds horrific. Although my labur with dd was the worst experience of my life, the story about your daughter has put things in perspective.

I agree - I was saying to DH the other day that the one thing that would have put me off having children if I had known is how upsetting it is when they are ill. And I'm talking about the normal coughs / colds / tummy bugs.

Not the worst thing... maybe i was lucky but i have had dentistry much more painful.

I think as others have said it can be the thought process. I do think there should be more positive birth stories out there to counteract the bad...

not the worst
worst thing was my previous operation for a v.large ovarian tumour and the recovery. Being made to stand up to check I could move a couple of days after the op was easily the most agonising thing I've ever, ever had to do and in fact I was just passing out with the pain over and over again even though I'd had stacks of morphine. Not nice

childbirth was pretty grim too, but at least I got my lovely babies out of it - all I got from the operation was the loss of half my baby making stuff and the worry that I'd never have children. I'm just so glad I got to go through the pain of labour IYSWIM

agree you should talk it over if it was truly traumatic candyfluff

candyfluff, sounds like you have ptsd.. i really would urge you to talk it through with teh birth trauma associatioan or thge birth crisis help line. or contact the hospital where you had your baby, as many have a birth afterthoughts service or a midwife who can help debfrief you. feeling sick and shaking when you think about it is not normal.

I quite liked having the contractions - a bit orgasmic - but after three days and having oxytocin and all the machines in the hospital plugged into me and babs - the crash cesarean was VIOLENT!

I can't think that the birth of my DD was anything other than traumatic (because of the section), but i quite enjoyed labour - it was strangely surreal - time floated by - it was like being underwater - and the contractions were rather pleasant, once they got going and I could suck some gas and air!

Yep. Both of mine were just dreadful pain. First time gave me panics every time I thought about it for over a year. Second time was even more painful. I screamed and screamed.

Both were really quick labours from first contraction to end (7 1/2 hours then 4 hours) so everyone always thinks I had it really easy.

Yep, awful. Pure hell. I wanted to kill myself (much to the amusement of the two midwives!) but DH wouldn't let me.
I'd still do it again though.

First 2 both induced and pure, unadulterated agony. Went from 0-10cm in under an hour. No time for analgesia, just gas and air. Absolutely wanted to die. Even my fingernails throbbed with pain.

3rd time was so different. Not induced and 9lb 4oz DS born still in the membranes (think that means less pain). Kept wondering when the proper pain would start but it never did!

I've had major abdominal surgery, ruptured ectopic and broken a limb but would gladly have all 3 together than go through the pain of the first 2 deliveries again.

i found it dire.

i'm dreading it this (3rd) time round.

i found it ok......
it hurt, but it was ok

I'm with StarlightMckenzie on pretty much everything.

Just want to add - it is also possible you will still be having pain and bleeding when having sex 4 months later!

IT was the single worst experiance of my entire life, and people say things like: AT least it was natural, at least you got to feel him come out.

They can bog off, I just wanted him to be OK (which he was, thank god). I didn't and don't give a crap about doing it the "natural way"

It isn't bad for everyone, I was dreading it but it was nothing like as bad as I thought.

I wouldn't like to be pregnant again but I wouldn't mind giving birth. I think it is just because I am pear shaped with child bearing hips-the only time they have come in useful!
I wouldn't dare have a 4th in case I didn't make it to hospital.
The last time the staff didn't take me seriously when I said that it was coming, by the time anyone examined me I was desperate to push, they took one look and said that I could and my DS was born!
I am not posting to be smug-just to let first time mothers know that it isn't always a horror story.

eandz - don't be afraid...the obstetrician who delivered my DD said it was an "extremely, extremely difficult" delivery...and I still would do it again a hundred times to have her, and it was over pretty quickly!

..and I am thinking of doing it again!