Would you be nervous if DH had a 1.5-2 hour commute and it's your 2nd baby?

[Thankyouandgoodnight]

I'm almost 40 weeks and DH is asking whether I'm ok for him to go to his main office to work today or whether he should stay at home. It would mean he does his meetings via conference calls rather than attending them. The drive is 1hr 15 on a good run but it can take up to 2 hrs on a bad day.

Today's main meeting is 4-6pm

I would much rather he stayed at home BUT I don't want to be a drama queen and have said that I'm not having any twinges, so I'm not sure.

Difficult one, but I would probably tell him to go.

We're hoping for a home birth too and have the pool all set up - one of the added difficulties is that I don't want to have to be sorting out DD and filling the pool and sorting myself out without him there ideally. Many hands make light work and all that . But this could all go on for another 2 weeks or so!

I'm 40+10 and dp regularly commutes 1.5 hours, but I have booked a local doula (partly for this reason)
having said that he is working from home today as I'm having a sweep
have you a more local friend or relative who could come over while dp travels back? I think for peace of mind it is a good idea to have someone you know could get to you quite quickly
I was in the same situation with ds and was on my own for longer than I would have liked - the midwife wouldn't come out until things were really getting going

if you do suddenly go into labour and things are happening quickly, then your midwife can start filling the pool.

But if you are not havng any twinges, and no other signs such as a show, then hopefully you won't go into labour that suddenly (unless of course your previous labours have been very fast).

I would probably tell him to go and then spend the rest of the afternoon worrying about going into labour.

Thank you both - very wise ladies

I do have someone local who could come over that's true - the friend who would take DD is potentially an hour away herself but I do have 2 more friends I could call on. I might feel a bit lame asking them if they could come and fill the pool though! It needs the liner put in and bits pumped up, so it's not just turning the tap on but still .

I think people are usually excited and pleased to help
IME people think it is quite an intimate time and don't always want to offer, but are glad to be involved in the excitement

they will probably feel very honoured if you asked them to come and fill the pool, but generally it isn't a good idea to get into the pool until you are well into labour - 4/5 cm dilated - and hopefully your dh would have enough time to get home in time.

The other day, I had my neighbours offer to help at the birth if necessary, even though it's still 12-14 weeks away.

My 2nd labour was very fast and dh works 2 hours away as well.
He ran in the room just minutes befre DS2 was born!
I would definitely not have been able to cope with DS1 on my own, but had mil there to take him luckily.
As long as you have someone who you can call in an emergency to take your DD then I'm sure you will be fine.
Even if its very fast then your dh will make it for the important bit i'm sure!

Oh lordy . How fast was fast???

How long does it take to work out that it is actually labour and not a false alarm....???

Very fast was kissing DH goodbye at 8am feeling absolutely fine.
He got to work at 10am. I had a 'twinge' at 10.30am and called him just in case things kicked off.
12.30pm I was fully dilated and ready to push

I will say though that if you do have a fast labour this time that you will know pretty sharpish that it is not a false alarm!
My contractions started coming at 3 mins apart and within 20 mins or so I couldnt talk through them so you will know!!

Just keep a close eye on any niggles and pains and time them if you get a few.
The first signs of anything then give your DH a call and tell him to have everything ready to run out the door as soon as you give the shout. Then he's very unlikely to miss it if it does kick off suddenly.

Good luck.