What did you learn during your first labour that made the second time easier?

[emkana]

That the feeling of desperately needing to poo is actually the feeling of desperately needing to push - and so you shouldn't spend over an hour and a half trying to fight it out of embarrassment at the thought of, ahem, doing something, but go with it.

If both you and your baby survive the process unscathed you did well. Survival trumps the birthplan every time.

with you on the needing a poo bit
I learned that I can do it, so going into it second time I didn't have the anxiety level.
I learned that labour was about me and the baby no one else mattered the most selfcentred time I have experienced.

WMMC!! Mwah!!! Mwah!!!

That controlled breathing can get you through any contraction, one at a time.

And that after no 1, embarrassment doesn't even come into it!

Not to listen to MWs who say you could have hours of this
That is would be fast
That once you start to push it will all be over soon
The feeling of relief once the baby is out is amazing

That you are in controll of the whole process and know more about whats going on than anyone else. But it's hard o realise this when everyone else has different agendas around you. Also that its a bit ogasmic. But no one agrees with me on that (so I must have had some very weird orgasms!)

In the delivery room, there is a paper covered thing that looks suspiciously like a wrapped up turkey. This is the birthpack that the midwives will use. Your questions about whether it is a turkey will be met with disdain and/or a reduction in painkilling drugs

That when it comes to the pushing bit, you need to forget all the "how to stop it hurting" and "coping with the pain" nonsense that you learnt in antenatal classes, and concentrate on pushing. I'm sure I just wasn't trying hard enough with DS1 which was why he ended up being ventouse delivery.

pmsl
did you give birth at christmas?

That you can tell a MW to feck off if you feel like it as they won't take it (too) personally.

No seriously, they have in every delivery room here, a metal trolley with shrinkwrapped johnnies for your partner in case you have section and a paper wrapped sterile birth pack which consists apparently, of a tray, with an upturned vomit bowl/cardboard bed pan and various bits of cotton wool and midwifery stuff. Because it's upturned it genuinely does look like an old fashioned wrapped turkey.

I'm going to get a photo of one of these tomorrow!

ok, I have to ask, "shrinkwrapped johnnies for your partner in case you have section" ?????????

All I learnt was that there is NO WAY that I will ever do that again!

To stay upright. For various reasons I spent DS1's labour on my back, and boy, was it a big mistake. (I know sometimes it's unavoidable, but not in my case.)

Labour doesn't always take days. Not even first time. In fact it can be remarkably quick.

Regardless of what happens - and even if you and you baby are not unscathed - you did well. I've yet to hear of someone who I thought 'Ooooh, they are awful at childbirth' you know? There is no blame in the babymaking game. What will be will be.

If you're pooping and grunting, you're pushing. Doesn't matter if your head is saying 'but it's too soon'

Don't listen to those people who say you won't care. If you think you'll care at the time or after, you may well care! And it's OK to be bothered about having your legs in the air with a roomful of people staring at your nethers. That's a normal thing to be bothered by!

Chasing squirrels - johnnies = scrubs. You know, the blue pjs that make you wonder who the attractive chap is who has just entered the operating theatre. Then you remember it's the bastard who put you in this position but are under an epidural so can't actually stab him

ok, I am stuck in my teens, johnnies = condoms, my mind just couldn't compute.
Good luck tomorrow.

it ends

That just because all the books, and indeed your midwife, tell you that first-time labours are long, it doesn't mean it's true!

I am prepared now. Don't tell me it takes an hour to dilate each centimeter - that's an average, not a rule, for goodness' sake!

That it is ok to scream and grunt and moo and wail, even if your midwife is telling you to shut up, they won't tell you off when it's all over.

That it is OK to scream "Fuckkkkkkk offfffffff" to the midwife that is telling you to shut up, as long as it is in your head.

That it is OK to make lots of mess on the floor when you stand up for the first time, because they sent the cleaners in while you were being stitched up.

That pethidine is the route of all evil, and I would rather have to give birth to 6 babies in a row with nothing whatsoever than go through pethidine again.

That epidurals don't actually always work.

That Gas and Air only works if you breathe it in.

And that no matter how much you scream, rant, rave, moo, wail, cry, tell people to fuck off in your head, make mess, whether the drugs worked or not, and however many people have seen you fanjo in the last few hours, once the baby is born, and you are holding him, none of it matters in the slightest.

I have been wondering about the jonnies for a section overnight... I too had thought you meant condoms!!!

This is just what I need - didn't have the best experience last time (only the it can be quich posts don't resonate)

I'm sure it will be better this time, I WON'T have pethadine, I WILL push through the bum (even if no urge to push again) and as long as I get through it I'll be happy

Your midwife told you to shut up NatalieJane? How awful

That screaming at the top of my lungs is as effective as G&A.

That no matter how much pain I am in, or how close I am to meeting my baby, doing a great big poo infront of my husband and 2 midwives is not okay. I did care, I still do care. I felt embarrassed and humiliated about it.