Postnatal wards - was yours overrun by other people's older children?

[hunkermunker]

Mine had visiting for mum's own family, including children, for about 12 hours of the day.

Some families see it as a day out, fun for all the family - but sadly not for anyone else on the ward as toddlers duck under curtains for a good long gawp at the new mum struggling to breastfeed, the dad of the tribe falls asleep in the chair, snoring, while the children rampage around the ward, using a new baby's bassinet (not their sibling's) as a scooter, etc.

Should midwives be on crowd control duty and kick them out? Or do new mums have a right to have their family with them, however annoying that family may be to someone else? Should visiting hours be broken up with quiet periods around eg lunch, etc on postnatal wards? Or should there be shorter periods of time available for children to visit their new sibling? I know not everyone has people they can leave their older children with, so that can make it difficult.

Dunoon General Hospital for me, here's hoping.

Would be willing to forgo epidural for that kind of aftercare.

Especially when I heard the midwives take the baby for you.

With my AND, it's a struggle to control my panic attacks and anxiety well because I can't take the doses I need during pregnancy or supplement with the occassional tranq or anti-anxiety meds, so every time after baby's born I simply cannot relax enough to sleep well with it right there next to me. But do very well knowing baby's in good hands whilst I sleep and will be brought to me whenever he needs to be.

The midwives here understand this and also the GP can come see me here so I can have my ADs and meds adjusted as need be.

Perhaps I gave birth too long ago and don't remember, but really, I don't think it matters....

It was like I was waiting with baited breath to get some rest in those hozzies, cold, because I just couldn't wind down enough with all the folk there and the baby and knowing I was basically on my own with them.

At home I knew I could sleep and sleep and baby would be with my mother or husband and they'd come get me if she needed a feed.

But still I like the idea of getting to stay in hospital and really recover and get my PND under control somewhat before heading home.

That's going to make SUCH a difference to our family.

I had a room in a semi-private ward (5 women, 6 babies), in a overcrowded Dublin (Ireland) hospital, and there were 12 visitors for one woman every day all day - they sat around her bed like it was a wake - reeking of fags and drink, talking non-fecking stop.

Other women on the ward had about three visitors each, and phoned their families and friends all the time, and I couldn't get any rest or sleep and I was driven demented. And I mean DEMENTED.

I actually think visiting times should be banned outright for women who have surgery of any kind. Especially major abdominal surgery. And they should be given private rooms if at all possible.

And a few days without mummy won't kill children and visitors. But it might kill a new mother. And seriously interfere with her recovery and breastfeeding ability.

And DON'T get me started on the Pre-natal ward where I spent 3 sleepless nights and days (with 10 women screaming their heads off in various stages of transition - PLUS their snoring husbands asleep on mattresses on the floor) before I was subjected to the post natal ward torture.

If you're ever unlucky enough to be in Dublin, don't go near the major maternity hospitals (all three are the same)...

I Ireland they treat you as a human being ONLY in private hospitals, or in general hospitals with a maternity wing - the maternity hospitals are dens of inhumane torture, and best avoided as I learnt to my cost.

I vote for no visiting times at all!

In the best of all possible worlds you'd get to choose your post-natal ward.

'Quiet' - you can't have visitors, except maybe dh/dp for one hour per day if he's prepared to whisper or be growled at by scary Sister. Peaceful atmosphere to heal in after a rough childbirth experience.

'Celebration' - open visiting all day, for the more robust/lucky/sociable. Trolley surfing on bassinets by older sibs still to be discouraged though!

Hmm, while I very much agree with what seems to be the original point that child visitors should be well-behaved and only there for short periods at a time, I am disturbed by the suggestion that all visitors including partners should be banned or kept to very limited times. When I had DS1 I was kept in for a week; I am disabled and was bedbound for 2 weeks following the birth. Frankly the midwives were too busy to look after me as fully as I needed (I don't blame them, they are set up for 'normal' mothers, not special needs patients) and I found all the time DH wasn't present was very trying indeed. After a few days he was given extra dispensation to be there for extended hours (I was put in a private room, so it didn't have to affect other people) so he was able to basically act as my carer; finally I was able to get washed and fed properly, and have some sleep as he took the baby off to the parents room to give me a break. I realise this is slightly special circumstances, but what I am getting at is that sometimes some visitors can be a helpful and necessary adjunct to the hospital staff in actually aiding the new mother's recovery (without disturbing other mothers in the ward.)

when i had ds number5 jan08 visiting was banned due to a virus, so ended up discharging myself 23hrs after section causing problems mabe first time parents could have seperate wards if wanted