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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Home .v. Hospital - 1st baby

49 replies

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 27/06/2008 11:50

Just wanted people's experiences and opinions on home births versus hospitals...we were intially just going to go for a hospital as it's our first baby and we automatically assumed it would be better/safer with access to doctors and facilities in the event of anything happening

However I've heard so many stories about homebirths being much less stressful and the chances of c-section etc being way less than in hospital (obviously I know they have to take you to hospital for it!)

I'm keen to try to do it with as little intervention as possible (for reasons non-martyr related!) but am not that strong willed so maybe would be better to only have options of gas and air at home?

I've had an easy pregnancy so far (23+3) with no complications and on a good day it would take half an hour to get to hospital (even for an ambulance with lights on, if it's rush hour it could still take that long)...where on earth do you begin to look for info on home.v.hospital?

good and bad experiences, especially 1st babies at home would be grateful to hear!

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milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo · 27/06/2008 11:53

I had my first at home, now expecting no. 2 and hoping to do it again.

I had a 28hr labour, contracting every 45mins. Community MW provided a pool (birth pool in a box - fab things, highly recommended!) and gas and air and I was fine with that. I think because I knew I couldn't have anything else I waited much longer to ask for G&A (7 cms ish). It was very relaxed and so nice to snuggle up in my own bed once it was all over and done with

bohemianbint · 27/06/2008 11:59

I had my first baby at home, took 4 hours and was great. About to have the second at home too (touch wood) - I can't imagine wanting to do anything else, unless, obviously there was any reason to. Was so fabulous being in my own shower, and bed afterwards, with DH, and being able to drink tea, eat pizza and watch Corrie!

I'd say if you're well and healthy, why not? I'm all for viewing birth as a life event, rather than a medical procedure. Have a read of Ina May Gaskin, that might help!

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 27/06/2008 12:07

it's reading Ina May that's making me seriously consider the home birthing!

trouble is DH is worried about having less medical attention in case anything does go wrong, I can see his point but a part of me also thinks a bit of it could be helped with positive mindset, which will be easier to have when comfortable at home?

we also went to the hospital last weekend after pains and the midwife we saw was so tired and frazzled and over-worked, I felt really sorry for her then a bit freaked that she was in such a state because it was so understaffed...in those circumstances would I be better at home?

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IndigoMoon · 27/06/2008 12:11

i had a hospital birth with first and a home with second.

the home birth was amazing but realistically i am not sure i could have done the first birth at home. it was very long and the pain relief i had was great at the time.

my second birth was quicker so much more bearable

hellsbells76 · 27/06/2008 12:11

www.homebirth.org.uk for all you could ever want to know (including plenty of stuff to reassure your dh!)
i had my first at hospital and second at home and now i so so so wish i'd stayed at home first time round. can't recommend it enough.

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 27/06/2008 12:14

thanks for the link hellsbell

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kazbeth · 27/06/2008 12:16

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bohemianbint · 27/06/2008 12:17

Mousey - I had 3 midwives all to myself at home, for the whole labour. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have got that kind of attention in hospital! I can understand your DH's concerns but I'll see if I can find some good stuff you can get him to read. I also did hypnobirthing which helped massively and made DH feel a lot better about the whole thing (and gave him something to do, in theory!)

theangelshavethephonebox · 27/06/2008 12:21

Don't know if this is any help at all but - I had my ds in hospital but everything went so smoothly that I could easily have had him at home. First births aren't always the nightmare they are made out to be.

If there is a next time I will definitely be interested in a homebirth.

naturalbaby · 27/06/2008 13:12

The best recommendation for homebirth I heard was that as first ones tend to be longer, you are likely to be more relaxed at home in a familiar environment so things are likely to progress quicker than if you were in hospital - hope that makes sense! Some times people making good progress at home find things slow down when they get to hospital.
My husband says he was really pleased we had a home birth - having visited the hot and stuffy labour ward. The best bit was sitting in bed with husband and new baby eating dinner - in hospital he would have been sent home by then and I have no idea what I would have had to eat!
We had a water birth at home, first baby, and it was very empowering - no pain relief at all and about 5 hours. Definately highly recommended.
Hypnobirthing also was the best preparation we did - for me and husband.

notcitrus · 27/06/2008 16:24

A third option - is there a midwife-led unit attached to one of the hospitals near you? My local hospital finally got one this year and it's more like a health spa with an NHS-style decorating budget, then the consultant-led main delivery unit is downstairs.

I thought about homebirth (especially after getting terrified by the NCT magazine), so went and looked round the hospital - I'm going to go for the midwife unit there rather than home as home is liable to be a bit of a building site still, and I'm happy for someone else to clear up! I'm also very used to hospitals and medics and relaxed around them. I do plan to stay at home for as long as possible beforehand and push off again ASAP afterwards, though!

Random anecdotes - SIL1 gave birth to #1 at home recently - she liked the total control. SIL2 gave birth in hospital so she wouldn't have enormous family clucking over her and she wanted the reassurance of medics there. Both very satisfied with their choices.

I do know a woman who had a homebirth and couldn't face going into the lounge afterwards as it reminded her of the pain and blood - they redecorated and moved the furniture about and she was fine after that.

Can you go on a tour of your hospital and then see how you feel?

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 27/06/2008 16:31

we do have that option actually...i'm in St Thomas's, london, which has a home-from-home birth centre which does look gorgeous

have also thought about the whole "never look at my living room in the same way again" scenario!

i think one of my main thinsg would also be the fact hospital is a fair distance away, i quite like the idea of not having to go anywhere after having the baby - really good to get a range of perspectives though

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notcitrus · 27/06/2008 16:57

A friend gave birth at Tommies last year and had no complaints - she's going back for #2 in November!
I'll be going to St George's in Tooting - according to local GPs, they're pretty similar and decent hospitals.
SIL2 wasn't expecting to want to stay in the hospital, but after a day at home/midwife with labour stop/starting, when it got to 10pm she figured it was time to stay in for that night, spent all night in labour, and then the next day found chatting to the other mothers, midwives, and random staff all quite reassuring, so stayed a second night. Collected her and partner and baby about 3pm after they'd all had some kip.

Advice from London-based friends who've given birth in hospitals is to take a good stash of food in with you! Although when we went to town with a food basket for SIL2, the midwife did feel the need to advise her on healthy eating and the importance of fruit and veg. - her birth partners ate most of it anyway!

I've got a couple friends lined up to deliver anything needed to me, and George's is only 10 min from home - with the amount of time I spend there the whole place is a home from home! And if the builders don't get a move on with my loft extension, the hospital may well be quieter...

bohemianbint · 27/06/2008 16:59

I wondered if the mess would be a factor, but have to say I didn't really see any. I don't think there was a lot anyway but it was all sorted out by someone else (midwives? My mum? God knows!) and I was tucked up in clean sheets minutes later.

mummypig · 27/06/2008 17:11

I had ds1 at hospital, having been booked for a home birth but admitted at 37 weeks due to suspected pre-eclampsia.

I had ds2 at home with independent midwives.

I'm planning to have ds3 at home with the same midwives.

In my experience the home birth was far and above preferable to the hospital birth. This is even with my labour being fairly short and uneventful first time round. It's not just about what happens during labour, it's about the antenatal care and the postnatal care, and being somewhere where you are relaxed and in charge rather than being treated according to hospital protocols/which staff and how many staff are on duty/who else they have in the ward at the time... Dp agrees with me too, in fact the main reason he gave for wanting a home birth second time round was to get better postnatal care.

The homebirth.org site already linked to is great, as is www.BirthChoiceUK.com/ where you can look at the stats for hospitals or birth centres in your area.

Oh and we didn't have any problem with the mess, the dustsheets and inco pads protected everything and the midwives chucked all the washable stuff in the washing machine while I was having a bath. I still use some of the sheets as they came out completely stain-free. I feel quite the opposite to the woman notcitrus mentioned - whenever we walk past the house ds2 was born in I feel quite proud and have to stop myself pointing it out to him yet again.

gizmo · 27/06/2008 17:11

Hmmmm.

Tricky one. I had my first in hospital and my second at home and there is no doubt that the homebirth was much better: no interventions, relaxed and alert baby, I had much more energy after and recovered quicker, no tearing.

However, if I did it again I still don't think I'd do my first birth at home. A lot of first timers transfer from home birth (have a look at the homebirth.org site and read the studies for the figures), mostly because they're not progressing. And, in your case, a 30 minute transfer in an ambulance when things aren't going the way you'd hoped...well, it would stress me out.

Controversially, I also don't subscribe to the 'homebirths are as safe as hospitals' mantra. They might be, but there are no published reviews that prove it. Of course, the studies that are out there suggest that the additional risk is very small and you may choose to accept it for perfectly good reasons. That's why I chose to have DS2 at home - I weighed up the small additional risk of something catastrophic happening against the very large additional risk of unpleasant but less catastrophic interventions in a hospital environment. But do look at the studies and be honest with yourself.

If there is a midwife led unit locally then I think that could be a great alternative.

mummypig · 27/06/2008 17:13

Forgot to say my next-door neighbour had both her kids at home, in water, and both labours were great.

gizmo · 27/06/2008 17:13

Oh and yes, yes to all comments so far about lack of mess and better quality of postnatal care. If you do have baby in a hospital, I plan to get out asap

mummypig · 27/06/2008 17:15

also I didn't really mean to say my first labour was uneventful, clearly giving birth to my first son was a very important event . I just meant it all went pretty smoothly.

bohemianbint · 27/06/2008 18:01

mummypig - I really like the fact that DS was born in our bedroom too. Makes it feel like a proper home. (Didn't the Victorians say a house wasn't a home until it had seen a birth, wedding and a death? I'm hoping the death bit's been dealt with already at some point over the last 120 years!)

hellsbells76 · 27/06/2008 20:29

oh i LOVE lying in bed when DD clambers in with me and remembering it's the bed where she was born. much nicer than trying to point out the hospital to DS as we drive past! tbh the fact that she was born here is one of the reasons i don't ever want to move house...

MillieMummy · 27/06/2008 20:39

I had both of mine in the home from home at St Thomas' - found it to be wonderful. DH stayed the night in the room with us after DD was born. The big advantage for me was that we turned up and everything was ready, then didn't have to clear up when we left !

ShowOfHands · 27/06/2008 20:47

I planned a homebirth for my first and transferred 4 hours into the 2nd stage. DD was in 'deep transverse arrest', meaning she'd entered the birth canal oddly and was stuck (this was only obvious once they'd started a c/s). I had an episiotomy, 3 ventouse attempts, attempted manual rotation and eventual emergency c/s. Why do I tell you all this? Well, it's not to put you off I promise. When I (if I?) have a 2nd I will have another homebirth attempt. Any 'problems' are usually noticeable as they develop and midwives are highly trained to notice the signs. Also, the postnatal care was atrocious, absolutely appalling. The transfer was not ideal and a 6hr second stage could have been avoided if I'd been in hospital but I wouldn't change it.

The midwives checked the baby regularly, respected my wishes and the homebirth part of labour, I really loved.

milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo · 27/06/2008 20:48

Giving birth at home made me view my house with much more affection than previously. We had to move when DD was 6mths old and I was devastated to leave the very place she was born, took great delight in telling the new owners exactly where she had popped out

As for mess the MWs clean up afterwards, when I came downstairs again the house was cleaner than before they arrived

milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo · 27/06/2008 20:49

Where does the myth that you'll be scrubbing and doing your sheets 5mins after you give birth come from????!!

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