If you had an episiotomy with first.. how was your second?

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I had an episiotomy and ventouse with my first baby. My stitches caused me pain for five months and it became extremely painful to have sex - which has still lingered 2 years on.

My second baby is due in a few months and I’m considering my birth options this time around. I’m not sure I could handle another episiotomy/tear.

Would love to hear from those who had an episiotomy first time around and how following births went :)

I tore along my scar the second time and it healed well.

I did hypnobirthing and had a water birth. It was 100% better than 1st time. Also much much quicker. I tore in the same place as the epi but the pain and healing was nowhere near as bad.

I recommend hypnobirthing even if you don't want a water birth. It gives you so much more control over your management of the experience.

I had ventouse/episiotomy with my first, and still had a 2nd degree tear. Loads of stitches. I was in a lot of pain for weeks.

However, with the second, I had a natural birth, no tearing just a slight graze. And she was bigger than my first (8lbs, so not huge)

I had an episiotomy and forceps with my first, but it healed very well.

With my second I tore, I think along the same scar, and it was a much more difficult healing process than after the episiotomy. In retrospect I should have had another episiotomy really, they offered it but I said no.

My third flew out really quickly, and I only had a slight graze that didn't need stitches.

I tore the first time with ventouse but the second I was absolutely fine. My first was 1.5lbs heavier though

Episiotomy with my first, second degree tear with my second - not along the scar. The tear healed much better and was nowhere near as uncomfortable, not sure why - possibly the skill of the midwife who did the stitching (the first was a student which I really shouldn’t have agreed to)

Episiotomies with both my children. Luckily I healed well both times. Best of luck!

I had forceps and episiotomy with my first.

My second birth was twins, and the babies were ejected at speed and there was no time for anything. I tore. Honestly, who knows why, was a lot less painful than the episiotomy and healed more easily and quickly.

I had a 2nd degree tear and ventouse first time around, lots of painful stitches.
Second time was completely straightforward and a bigger baby

Episiotomy with first. Second was bigger but didn’t need episiotomy & didn’t tear.

Hi OP. I am a midwife and just wanted to come on and say that episiotomies tend to be more painful and longer to heal than a natural tear. This is because the tear heals better as the wound edges are more ragged and they often aren't as deep or long as an episiotomy.

I can also say that I have delivered a lot of women with your fears and they have gone on to have a normal delivery without needed an episiotomy or instrumental delivery. Obviously this comes with the caveat that I don't know why you had these things the first time but if it was position of baby rather than your anatomy, there is nothing to say you cant have an intervention free birth this time round.

Bear in mind that a lot of woman (around 85% I believe) have some sort of tear during delivery but there are things you, and we as midwives can do to help reduce this.

I had stitches from my arse to my elbow after my first - ventouse delivery, huge cut, painful for around 6 months afterwards.

Second baby was a pound heavier (coming in at 10lb), small tear but no stitches needed and healed quickly with minimum pain

I had two assisted deliveries and technically second delivery was “worse” in terms of what assistance was required (let’s just say more than one episiotomy was required) but as it had been a quicker birth and a FAR quicker pushing stage I found the recovery far quicker and the pain far far less. I feel the extended pushing stage with number 1 child made me so swollen and sore more than the stitches. So even if it’s a tricky second birth it might not feel worse if that makes sense…

I had exactly the same birth and painful aftermath as you for DC1. With DC2 I had a small tear that needed a few stitches and I think the midwife who did the repair did a much better job than the Dr who sewed me up after DC1 and my undercarriage felt better than it had done since my first birth. Hope it’s the same for you.

Thank you to everyone who replied. Really nice to hear so many positive stories for a second birth. Will help me to make a more informed decision - really appreciate it :)

Episiotomy and second degree tear with my first.
Second degree tear with my second.
All healed just fine. Similar size babies.

Episiotomy & kiwi cup on 1st baby - healing took 3 months & scar was sore for months after.

I declined the epidural for baby #2, as my consultant advised 90% of epidural births at my hospital are assisted. Really straight forward birth. Tore along the same line, but it healed in 3 weeks with no lingering pain. I think they did a much better job aligning things the second time. The pain of unmedicated labour was worth it for the smooth recovery. Baby #2 was 10&1/2 lbs too!

Tear and stitches with first .
Nothing with twins 3 years later .
very lucky I know !

Had a lot of stitches with my first as tore quite badly and ended up in what me and my friends affectionately call “the fucked up fanny clinic” afterwards 🙈 however, second baby no issues. Just grazing and healed quickly. Good luck op and congratulations

First was 48 hours, ventouse, episiotomy, months of pain and years to recover from the trauma. Second was 48 minutes at home, minor tear, fast recovery.

Episiotomy with my first. Second I had a very slight graze which they stitched but only because I had had a big bleed with my first so they were extra cautious. Midwife even said it would have been fine without. Second was born fast - two pushes and midwife wasn't even in the room so no chance of slowing the head down or any of that. Felt fine after - I also had a prolapse with my first and was fine with my second. Walked three miles the day after she was born.

I had a very similar experience to you with my first. My birth plan for my second was literally 2 words: No episiotomy!

Barely tore the second time and recovery was far quicker. I actually think a lot of it was the epidural I had the first time that caused most of the issues. Second birth was quick and no time for any pain relief apart from gas and air as his head was coming out but it was honestly an amazing birth!

I had an episiotomy with my first but not with my second or third and no tears.

Episiotomy and ventouse with dd1. It was unpleasant to say the least and I had a lot of internal scaring. Retained placenta too and a lot of bleeding.

According to dh, dd2 'fell out of me'. Now, I wouldn't say it was that easy but it was very quick. Compared to dd1 it was a walk in the park, no tearing, no lingering pain, I was sat with her eating toast and ready to get dressed and go home about an hour after.