TMI - Too small to get this baby out.

[nowayback]

Sorry if this is TMI but its worrying me now!

Currently 37 weeks with my first.

Ive always been "tight" downstairs and found sex painful..
DH and I attempted it earlier but it just wasnt happening!! I dont seem to have any juices as such and as tight as a ducks arse!

Worrying now, how on earth this baby is going to come out if i cant even manage that. Am i just going to be too small and end up with huge tears etc. I know Labour is painful but now thinking its going to be unbearable and end up with a c-section.

Sorry ladies- sensitive subject. DH is great and supportive but im really starting to freak out about it.

Is this just me or anyone else feel the same?
Im begining to regret trying for this baby now im so worried.

Please dont worry, we all come in different shapes and sizes and im sure you will have no problem at all.

hi nowayback I'm 37 weeks with number 3 so kind of know how you are feeling although I am hoping this one will drop out.

Anyway before I had my first I always felt I was a bit tight downstairs but I managed to have DD1 no problem, I did tear but it was more to do with her hand being by her face as she came out rather than me being too tight. The tear was no big deal and afterwards has never bothered our sex life.

I'm going to get a bit personal now but do you have loads of foreplay, I found having oral sex and actually having an orgasm before sex helps a lot.

Also I would suggest perineal massage, google it or look it up on here, it's basically using an oil and massaging yourself with your fingers to try and stretch before birth, there is a technique to it apparently.

Can't speak from experience (different reasons) but don't think it's the same thing at all. You'll have all sorts of birth related chemicals sloshing about (note the medical terminology here!) to help. My sister is v. small and was convinced she would have problems due to tiny pelvis but in fact it was more like shelling peas. Quickest one was 20 minutes. Talk to your mw for reassurance though - she'll have heard it all before.

It's not unusual to be dry during pregnancy and breastfeeding so that won't be helping your confidence. I felt the same about the size issue but recently had my 4th vaginal birth. I did tear with all of them but you really don't notice tearing during the birth, it's just sore afterwards. And if it's a 1st degree tear you may not even be very sore.

The most important thing for you to remember is that there is a world of difference between putting something up the vagina and pushing something down it. It really does work. And as Arriety says, lots of chemicals sloshing about to help.

Lube will help you with sex during pg and bf-ing. i have had 3 vaginal births, and i did masses of worrying first time.

The vagina will stretch, its made to. its different having sex (especially if you are not relaxed) and something going in, rather than a baby coming out.

Agree with perinal massage, its fab i have done it and never torn, dont know if that coincidence or something else......

Try to relax in labour, let your body open up and dont panic.

Nowayback - I have the same condition as you. I had no problem pushing ds out! Please don't worry yourself Believe me when you go into labour - it won't even enter into your head, it certainly didn't mine!

Nowayback. I have the same issue as you. I am 39 weeks and the baby is not engaged.

I found it impossible to loose my virginity as nothing would fit up there so I ended up (TMI alert!!!) losing it myself with the help of an impliment and days of patience (not a sexy or attractive experience) but it meant that I didnt have to have another embarresing experience.

I now dont find sex painful but I know that my pelvic floor is like a rock. When I read about these kegal excercises when it says "start by holding them for 10 seconds and build up" I found this a bit odd as I could hold them for 30mins with no trouble.

I have riden horses since early childhood and I have read that this can make your pelvic floor and other core muscles very solid. I don't know whether you were a horse rider?

I don't know what to say to you as this is my first pregnancy. People keep on assuring me that things will expand naturally but hey they said that about losing my virginity and people still don't listen when I say that I didn't/don't have psychological problems with regards to sex. I remember thinking in my laet teens that the next person who said the words "vaginisms" was going to get a slap in the chops!

I would just reiterate what others have said about sex and childbirth being very different things and you can't extrapolate that because sex is difficult that childbirth will be. And lucky those of you with a well toned pelvic floor.

I have got this too and would really recommend looking at vaginismus.com and getting one of their packs - very useful exercises. You don't necessarily have to have had psychological problems or a background of abuse to have vaginismus - sometimes it just happens but it can be overcome. Oh and I managed to push out ds just fine - I did have a tear but did not notice it happen at all and even managed to relax while the midwife stitched me up (gas and air helped!).

sighs

Read the literature rather than sighing Tess

I have. I also know my own fanny.

Tess- Yeah i used to ride a fair bit as a child/teenager untill my auntie more futher away and took the horses with her.

Theangelshavethephonebox-Thanks I'll have a read.

Im sure my body will cope but still cant help but worry the pain will be more intense and hurt more.

Think ive put labour to the back of my mind so far but now its got closer its become more of a worry- Not that it takes much to get me to worry about something!

Thanks for all your comments and advice.

oppps Should be Moved further away

I think doing relaxation exercises would be really helpful for you if you're worried about pain - I listened to the natal hypnotherapy CD before the birth and am sure it helped me.

Tess, sorry if I was rude and I know how annoying it can be when people try to diagnose you. FWIW, I should tell you that the pack I mentioned came with different sized vaginal dilator things (is that the proper name - poss not, sorry) and the exercises involved doing pelvic floor exercises and inserting the dilators. So quite a lot like you described. And no therapy involved unless you think you need it.

You're welcome NWB

I'm sorry theangelshavethephonebox, that was unkind of me-grumpy head on