Fear of natural birth, elective c-section help.

[lnleviathan]

Hey all im currently 35 weeks pregnant. Im very stressed about natural birth and im planning to go for an elective c-section. This will be my first birth. I know it takes longer to give birth naturally when its your first. I know c-section also involves pain. But when i search about the both types i find there are not many positive stories about natural birth. C-section gives me feeling of control and calmness eliminating the fear of the uncertainity. I know birth also needs mentally to be prepared and you have to be somehow decisive to go through the birth more easily. When i ask my mom who had 4 natural births and one c-section, she tells me for her c-section was a better experience. My sisters had c-sections and yes i remember them suffer in their first walk and a fews days but nothing like screaming or crying as we mostly in natural birth. I know natural births can be also quiet but you know babys gonna come out somehow and its a choice between to types of pain in the end. I have anxiety disorder (ocd) maybe thats why im very stressed.

what do you guys think?

I thibk you should talk, immediately, to your midwife. You can make a maternal request (if you are in the UK), but you've left it very late in the day and lists might be booked up. Medical professionals will be able to support you, though you sometimes need to be pushy to get an ELCS.

You might have to really push. Just don't take no for an answer. Also consider the idea of epidural as soon as it's available in the course of a vaginal birth. C-sections can really fuck your body, or they did mine, and made the early days and bf really difficult. Of course vaginal birth can damage your body too.

yeah its quite late i know but it just hit me in the last days that i actually wanted this way. Im in turkiye we have also a natural birth policy in public hospitals you cannot have an elective c-section unless there is a complication and risk for mom and the baby . But in private hospitals you can book for a c-section. Still i have to decide and act early i guess to make process easier and change the hospital.

Have you discussed an elective c-section with your midwife or consultant? Normally they only recommend you for them if there is a medical need or something in your history that means it would be a better option? Sorry that you are worried, but as I'm sure you know you can get an epidural in a vaginal birth if you are worried about the pain. That can slow things down a bit, but it's not a choice between the middle ages or an electve C-section. I was going to have one with my third due to issues with my health and my consultant was going to recommend it, but she was keen that I understood that it is the equivalent of abdominal surgey which you have to recover from while looking after a newborn and, in the case of your first child, learning how to be a mum. So it is not an option to take lightly.

Yes im planning to go to a private hospital and talk to them about this. But currently in my hospital they dont accept the elective, and theres no guarantee for them to give epidural unfortunately. They say they use it in working hours, not holidays like eids, weekends etc. And my birth will be probably on national holiday which will last 9 days.. so with this fear im just not calm enough to face the process of unmedicated natural first birth

definitely its a surgery and risky i know. But natural birth is also painful to some extent - which i will not be able to know how painful untill i go through it. That makes me so worried.

I would strongly advise attending a hypnobirthing course and reading The Positive Birth Book. Helped me massively and feel prepared and in control

OP does this mean in turkey no pain relief is given other than 9-5 Monday to Friday? And excluding holidays?

what would happen in an emergency section scenario during a holiday period?

It changes i guess from hospital to hospital. Here private hospitals are also choosen alot for their options like epidural and elective c-sections. And c-sections rates here are very high almost half/half. My hospital is public and also an well equipped hospital but thats what they told me about epidural. I asked again about it but they told me they started doing it but it wasnt a clear answer.

in emergency c-section scenario they ofcourse do it. But only as an emergent event you cannot choose it beforehand

Sorry, this does sound like a stressful situation especially as the public hospital cannot guarantee having pain relief like an epidural available.

I had a fear of birth before I got pregnant, but I would say I had a stronger fear of needles, the idea of surgery, blood etc...so I knew I needed a way to manage my fear of natural birth. Like @scoobysnaxx said hypnobirthing also worked amazingly well for me. I had two natural births, the first one with gas&air and the second unmedicated as it happened so quickly at home! Both quick, no screaming or crying as I was using the hypnobirthing breathing techniques during contractions.

I'm not saying it works for everyone and you need to focus and push for what you feel is right for you. Just thought I would give my positive experience of natural birth as you mentioned you hadn't heard many good stories.

I’m not sure why you’re asking what internet strangers think! It’s your body and your baby and your choice.

I had two vaginal births. They were very painful but they were genuinely amazing, life-affirming experiences. I didn’t need drugs or stitches and I recovered quickly. I would love to give birth again.

So that’s what I think but that was my own unique experience and has no bearing on what sort of birth you want/plan/have.

I hope everything goes really well and you have a positive experience. 💐

Yeap thats why my fear got worse. Just 10 mins ago i saw a reels of a woman on instagram waiting for the birth and there were screams of other woman in the back. I read the comments of experienced women and they werent so relieving you know 😂 but i also see very quiet birth videos but they started to seem to me more like exceptions.

I've had two emergencies, and one elective. I would take the elective every time. My induction of labour with my eldest was genuinely horrendous. The pain was absurd - and I have a very high pain tolerance usually.

I would mention that post-section, not having expected it, it did surprise me how difficult movement was. My pain was controlled fine with painkillers though and after a few days I adjusted.

With my elective, it was calm, controlled and easy tbh. I was in surgery around 9am, and back up and moving by lunchtime. It was a very healing and positive experience. I did struggle afterwards with movement and pain - my anchor stitch area and right leg pain was awful (this was my 3rd section in 5 years too). But once I had a regime of painkillers (mixing ibuprofen and paracetamol in stages) I was fine.

If you want the section I'd absolutely recommend you do it. It's your birth, your body, your baby, your experience. Just make sure you really read up on what to expect - and ideally have support around you for at least the first week.

There are risks with both. A straightforward vaginal birth is always the least risky to both you and the baby, but of course you can’t guarantee that.

my c-sections were horrific. The emergency was possibly better as it was so fast it was done before I could think about it. The recovery was awful. The elective wasn’t much better tbh, I got very sick from the anaesthetic and thought I was going to die. I then spent two days throwing up every pain killer they gave me, while trying to look after a newborn and recover from major surgery.

it’s a very difficult choice and both are a leap into the unknown. Talk it through with a midwife if you can.

If you are thinking seriously about having a c-section, just make sure that you read up on all of the potential risks. I had an emergency c-sec first time round and it was fine, but second time round I had a planned c-sec and she suffered with TTN, so was taken straight to special care where she stayed for four days. This is one of the potential risks with an elective c-sec, so just worth considering! X

Its great you remember your birth as something thay you again can go through.. so do you think i should go for my instincts? I ask the internet strangers because i have no one around me to give me feedback. I just wnna know what im gonna go through. I feel alone about this. I only have my husband around me he has no idea nor interest like me :D

Also for what it’s worth OP, my c-section was great. It was an emergency one; but my recovery was absolutely fine with minimal pain. Up and in Tesco on day 3.

not everyone’s experiences but you always hear bad stories and fear about c sections so I feel the need to share a positive story with expectant mums x

And to add to my previous post - I found the recovery for both the emergency and my planned c-secs fine! As long as you get up and moving fairly quickly then you’ll be fine!

I think everyone should make their own decision based on advice from their medical team.

Personally, I was much more scared of having an epidural than I was of a natural birth. I was lucky that everything went smoothly with both births and I didn’t need more than gas and air (the second was a water birth so the water also provided some pain relief). Neither lasted more than 6 hours from the first contraction.

I obviously can’t compare both types of birth but, like your mother, a good friend of mine had four natural births and one caesarean (which was recommended because it was breech). She hated the caesarean and said it was by far the worst experience.

Her experience is irrelevant of course. What matters is what you feel and how best you can manage your anxiety.

I had an elective c-section, for a few reasons which would seem trivial to some, but it was my body, and my choice. Control was one of those reasons.
I was supposed to have my c-section in the morning, but a couple of emergency cases had to go in front of me, which meant by the time my surgery came around, I had been fasting for almost 18 hours and had to be hooked up to an IV for hydration. Just be mindful that there may be a wait. Other than that, it was completely fine. My stitches were sore for a couple of days but I was up and about within 18 hours. I've healed relatively well, but my scar and the area around it is still completely numb after 4 years.
The anesthetic made me feel sick, but they gave me anti-sickness medication which helped.

Yeah anesthetic makes nausea i guess i heard about it. Do you find the pain manageable after c-section?

I’ve had 3 sections and not by choice. I would not have chosen them and would not choose again.

baby 1 emergency section
baby 2 tried for vaginal birth got to 9cm emergency section
baby 3 I had to have a section this time, out of my control since it would be dangerous to attempt vaginal.

it is not what I would wish for anyone

Yes. I had codeine or mophine (I can't remember which) over the 24 hours I was in hospital after the c-section, then I went home with ibuprofen and paracetamol and took that (alternating every few hours) for a few days.

I’ve had a natural birth with my first, 11 days over due but very quick when it did happen, 5 hours from first contraction to delivery I went into spontaneous labour at home, it was painful I won’t lie but I was feeling good afterwards. But I didn’t tear or anything so I can’t comment on that.

2nd was an emergency section, that was crap because I laboured all day and still ended up with a section,

3rd was an elective section and the actual delivery was brilliant, only pain was the canula and the spinal which were both seconds and not that bad, the recovery of a section is pretty rough though. It’ll take 3 weeks to feel back to yourself and the first week will be pretty painful. But if I had to do it again I would take the elective section.

I’m sorry you are so anxious about this. Have you done any antenatal classes? I assume those exist in Türkiye. Those sorts of classes usually give lots of information on different types of birth and the pros and cons of each. Although as you are now so close to your due date, perhaps it is too late for that.

I have just reread your OP and it sounds as though you’re leaning very heavily towards elective C-section so perhaps that is the right choice for you. If you decide to try the natural route, could you do some hypnobirthing or something like that to prepare?

The difficulty is that none of us can predict how our own births will go, let alone other people’s. We can’t tell you what you’re going to go through; we can only tell you what we went through. I had wonderful natural births but lots of women don’t. Equally, many women have wonderful experience of C-section but not everyone.

It’s really hard to make a decision but I think going with your strong instincts seems like the best option you have.