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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Bring son to hospital when having second child?

34 replies

Childcare18 · 10/04/2026 13:20

Hello everyone , Im currently 12 weeks pregnant and trying to get a plan together for the birth. I have a 5 year old son ( who will be 6 at the birth). I have a planned C-section due to medical reasons. So I will need to be in hospital for at least 2 nights.

I realy don't want to leave my son for that extent of time , and I also want to include him as much as I can. The hospital is about 10 min drive away from home.

I'm unsure if I should be getting someone else to look after him for the full 3 days , or do a bit of both? Half at the house , half in hospital with us? Or should he stay with me and my husband the whole time? Just to add , I live in turkey, and our private hospital rooms are very spacious and there would be the space for him to bring toys along etc.

Anyone have any ideas?

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 10/04/2026 13:22

He can’t stay with you. He will have to be at home with your husband.

Sunnyonaworkingday · 10/04/2026 13:23

I can only give my experience as someone living in England. Here the hospital would only allow birthing partners other than for visiting hours once baby has arrived. I had childcare for the birth, which meant over night with my sister. Then my DH looked after my older DC and visited alone whilst DC was at school and with DC after school.

Jellybunny98 · 10/04/2026 13:24

I would really avoid having him in hospital for more than maybe a brief visit to meet baby. It’s not the place for a child really.

ValidPistachio · 10/04/2026 13:28

You don’t want to be away from your 6 year old son for 2 nights? That sounds a bit extreme.

WarmLilacHiker · 10/04/2026 13:28

I don't know if it's different there but I had a planned c section and was only in 1 night after the birth. I was pretty high risk and in the hospital for monitoring a week before but was still out within 24 hrs of the c section so you might not need to be there as long as you think

Smartiepants79 · 10/04/2026 13:28

I doubt that having a 5 year old trapped in a hospital room for days after having just given birth is going to be a brilliant idea.
In the uk this would never be allowed, probably for a very good reason.
It’s a few days, you’ll have had major surgery and will have a newborn.
What happens if it doesn’t all go to plan?? Arrange for him to stay with a trusted adult for the duration or the birth and hospital stay. Your DH can bring him to visit for an appropriate length of time

Workinggreen · 10/04/2026 13:29

It’s hard to say because this wouldn’t be allowed in the UK
also I wouldn’t want my child playing on a hospital floor and stuck in one room all day or making noise or bringing germs in where there are other newborns.
In an ideal world where you have your own room and you can have any visitors you want, I’d probably have my dh home with eldest following the birth, and have a friend or doula come in to help me. Then I’d have dh bring ds to visit, maybe to come and bring breakfast then pop back for an hour before dinner even so you still see each other lots, but I wouldn’t have him in all day or the whole time. I’m not sure he needs to see the details of a recovery from birth either tbh

LittleMissClutter · 10/04/2026 13:30

Surely you'd be better off asking someone in Turkey, with this sort of experience?

Facebook maybe?

Meadowfinch · 10/04/2026 13:30

He's 6. He could be very frightened seeing you having a csection. Plus I doubt the hospital would allow it.

You need to organise some childcare if your partner won't do it.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 10/04/2026 13:30

Most maternity wards are not keen on children under 12 visiting at all. In a private room you may get more flexibility but personally I'd arrange care for a few days. Most C-Sections are unproblematic but if there were issues with you or the baby, it would be incredibly stressful trying to sort care at the last minute and the risk is that your husband would not be with you. My second child spent time in the neonatal intensive care unit due to jaundice so I was there with her. No way would a child be allowed in and it was scary as an adult.

A trusted adult who can bring him in for visits, entertain and look after an older active child and reassure them all is well is what you need. They may also need to do school runs.

If you've never gone anywhere without him to date then you have a few months to arrange a night away with your spouse and start getting him used to the idea of a night or a weekend at grandparents/aunt/uncle's or a sitter who will come to you.

Ohhhwell · 10/04/2026 14:02

I will never understand parents that want there other kids with them during labour.

Whoops75 · 10/04/2026 14:21

I think you might appreciate the time to fully rest after a c-section so I would leave him at home. Your partner can be with you for the first 24 hours and then all going well bring him in for a visit.

Honestly once you have the baby you will see how big your 6 year old is. He is capable of having things explained to him and hopefully doing well with the minor upheaval.

TheDenimPoet · 10/04/2026 14:27

ValidPistachio · 10/04/2026 13:28

You don’t want to be away from your 6 year old son for 2 nights? That sounds a bit extreme.

Yeah, it is extreme, particularly when the child will be able to visit each day during visiting hours!

Lindy2 · 10/04/2026 14:28

Really you need to get someone to look after him for most of the day when you have the Csection.

Your husband then needs to return home overnight to be with your older child and then visit for a while the next day with your son so he can meet the new baby.

The time in hospital when it's just you and your new baby will actually be quite precious. You won't have alone time like that once you're out of hospital.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 10/04/2026 14:33

Shouldn’t he be at school??

When I had my second child I was in for 5 days. DH took me to hospital at the appropriate time, and DS (then 3) went to stay with friends. DH went home in the morning to pick DS up, so the friends could go to work, school etc and brought DS into the hospital to meet his baby sister. I felt rubbish because I was still full of anaesthetic (crash c section) and DS got bored after 20 mins or so, so DH took him to nursery as normal. DH went home at normal nursery pick up to do tea/bath/bed with DS. On some evenings they both came in to the hospital. DS would have been bored to tears and in the way in the hospital. There’s quite a lot of medics coming and going post c section.

Greybeardy · 10/04/2026 14:33

anaesthetist pov.... absolutely bonkers idea. Fortunately there's plenty of time to plan childcare.

Jrisix · 10/04/2026 15:07

I was in for 5 nights after my second C section and it was bliss. Also overseas, so I had my own room and nurses that helped with everything. I missed my older child but I had the chance to rest, heal, establish breastfeeding and bond with the new baby.

My husband had time off work so he looked after the toddler and brought her to visit one time. Hospital was a scary environment and DC was frightened seeing me in a gown and hospital bed. I don't think it's any place for a child really.

tealandteal · 10/04/2026 15:13

My DS was 5 when I had my second and he found being in the hospital quite scary and confusing. My mum came to stay at the house when I went into labour at midnight and then my DH went home and got him after school and brought him to visit in the hospital. I would arrange for someone to be with him and they can bring him in for short visits. Then they can play it by ear depending on how you are and how the baby is settling in.

newornotnew · 10/04/2026 15:16

This would potentially be extremely traumatic for him, it's not appropriate.
Someone needs to care for him away from the hospital, and bring him to visit at suitable times.

WonderingWanda · 10/04/2026 15:20

I am sure in a private hospital you would have more flexibility and I have no experience of that. However, I would say gaining a sibling and seeing his mother incapacitated in hospital after a c section might be quite unsettling for your other child. You may not want to he separated from him but you should consider what is best for him which is being at home in his normal routine as much as possible and having short visits to see you and meet the new baby.

Coconutter24 · 10/04/2026 15:30

If you’ve just had a c section the last thing you’re going to want to do is entertain a 6 year old hours after giving birth. Have him come meet baby and stay for a bit, then send him home with your DH. You will need time to rest when baby does when in hospital

Upsetbetty · 10/04/2026 15:38

It’s ridiculous and you know it is!

Cotton55 · 10/04/2026 15:39

Lindy2 · 10/04/2026 14:28

Really you need to get someone to look after him for most of the day when you have the Csection.

Your husband then needs to return home overnight to be with your older child and then visit for a while the next day with your son so he can meet the new baby.

The time in hospital when it's just you and your new baby will actually be quite precious. You won't have alone time like that once you're out of hospital.

This.
You're going to be exhausted. And you will never have this time alone with your 2nd child again. Your 6 year old will be fine. Your dh can bring him in for a visit afterwards and you can make a big fuss of him then, give him a present 'from the baby' etc.

MintTwirl · 10/04/2026 15:40

He would be bored tbh, a new baby is quite dull to a small child after a few minutes.

amber763 · 10/04/2026 15:49

This is silly. Your husband or his grandparents or someone else has to watch your son.