Birthplan

[kentDee]

Hi. Im having trouble writing out a birth plan. How long/short does it have to be and what does it have to include? I have seen some samples on the internet but they all seem so o o detailed. Any advice would be appreciated.

Not really sure I didnt have one in writing. Noone asked me for one. I just said I wanted a water birth and booked into a different hospital that had one available.
Couldnt get in anyway as had meconium in my waters.
Basically everything I wanted and palnned went out the window.
Was layed on a bed pushing hooked up to monitor.
I was advised by family and friends to be flexible and go with the flow.
Obviously I did, but the only thing I really hoped wouldnt happen was having to lay and push
I dont believe that position helps at all.
Hoping for a home birth this time.
Good luck maybe someone may be able to give you better advice.

I think the most important thing is to remain open-minded. I spent quite a long time thinking about mine and when it came to the crunch it was all irrelevant and nobody read it!

The best advice I was given was not to bother. I am a control freak. If I had a plan and couldn't stick to it I would have been stressed, so I went without one.

(I would have liked a water birth, no meds and MW led care. I was induced, ended up E-CS and was consultant led....so there you go)

Whenever a thread comes up on this, generally people say that your birth plan can be as long or as short as you want but it will probably go out the window on the day of the birth. (Generally, but someone will be along in a bit to say theirs did).
Births don't go 'to plan'.
I didn't write one for either of mine. It would have been all airy fairy and massage and candles and nice music.
It ended up horrible and assisted; 2nd one was csection.
I think going with the flow is a lot less stressful than worrying that its not going 'to plan' and beating your self up about it later thinking that you have 'failed'. As some do.

I wouldn't bother. hardly any birth goes 'according to plan' anyway. is it your first?

kentDee, hello. Lots of responses here say don't bother as it all goes out the window. I say, DO bother. It will likely go out of the window (aimed for HB, no drugs etc ended up in hosp with ventouse and forceps!) BUT It was a really important part of the process for me. It meant I didn't feel under pressure to remember what I wanted in the long run, it meant my birth partner and midwives had a good idea what I was aiming for and it was a great process to go through to help me understand that actually, nothing was as important as having a healthy baby at the end of it. So for my next dc, I will be writing one again regardless of the fact that I know things change and I have no control on any of it. Just don't write it and then think it is THE plan. It's A plan that needs to be flexible. Good luck. . p.s. it can be as long or as short as you like, but if you end up giving it to someone in a hospital you have just met when you are mid-labour, you will probably want it short and sweet!

Write some 'Birth Preferences'. There are some things that are unlikely to go out of the window!

For example: Do you want them to show you the placenta? Do you want to feed as soon as possible? Do you want your baby cleaned as before you are handed him/her? Do you want silence at the pushing stage as opposed to some cheerleading? Are you happy to have students present etc. etc.

These aren't massive things, but can affect your overall experience!

A lot of these 'preferences' can be adhered to even if you have a c/section under GA

Yep, most of mine went out of the window too, but it's nice to something written down though.
I wanted a water birth and only g&a, def. no pethidine...fast forward to me induced, g&a, pethidine and epidural.
But it was good to make you feel in control before the birth, like it'll be dead easy!
I also put no student nurses, ok for vit k injection and 3rd stage injection too.

If you write a long, detailed one, do a few copies for everyone who comes into contact with you, and do a brief bullet-point summary!

Plus I was adamant I wanted the baby cleaned before giving to me, the thought of a gooey alien on me made me feel ill.

I was worried about my birth plan before giving birth. I did speak to DH about a couple of things (massage my back please darling, etc), but the one and only thing I said was a must was to have an epidural (was terrified about pain). Got to hospital said 'epidural please' only to be told, 'sorry, you're too far gone for that -- you are already 9cm dilated'. So that was my "birth plan" right out of the window then!!

Just try to go with the flow as much as you can and make sure your birth partner knows the important things. Good luck!

Definitely do a Birth Preferences as that way you have some say over what you would prefer in the event of X, Y and Z.

Here is just one example of a site you could use to pick and choose your own preferences.

Oh, - and call me crazy, - but I had in bold that if I had to have an emergency c/section then I don't want a screen!

I think you should write something headed birth preferences.

Make it short (one A4 side is enough) and dot point, and have a few copies.

Rest assured that most midwives will read it esp if is brief, and actually, most birth plans pretty much what state what normally happens anyway if the birth goes well.

If you write a hugely detailed birth plan, you will be disappointed as there are definately going to be things that will change according to the circumstances, and remember, you can always talk to the m/w at the time if you want something - doesnt always have to be written down.

Thanks for all your advice and suggestions. x

I am definitely writing a birth preferences plan this time - precisely because it was so helpful when my last delivery did not go to plan...

My birth plan was read and the midwives discussed it with me as we went along - so when things turned out a differently to ideal, they made a point of talking me through what they really couldn't do/didn't advise, and talking me through what they could do instead, and which parts they could still do. As a result, instead of feeling disappointed or upset about how it all went, I feel really positive about it all, and as though I actively made decisions during the birth (even though there was probably only one option left at the time ).

what kind of person are you in rl generally? I'm a control freak who likes to be fully involved in all decisions and i spent literally hours on my birth plan. it had bullet points and different sections, could probably have turned it into a nice little graph.

but perhaps you are not that kind of person?

anyway, I divided mine into sections and tried to think of lots of possibilities. eg what I would want if the baby turned out to be breech once examined when in labour (this happened to 4 women in my antenatal swimming group )
what I wanted if I needed a c section
what I wanted for pain relief in order of preference with some types of pain relief to not even be offered - I would request if I wanted them
that I wanted skin to skin immediately (v imp for bf and bonding), if that was not possible I wanted my dh to hold the baby
physiological third stage?
cord to pulsate?

so many things to think about. I used my birth plan to research options and decide how I felt about them. no need to stick with what you write before hand but at least it is informed choice then, rather than a sudden and last minute decision

Found mine invaluable as it made me think about/research all the options available. Even when things didnt go according to my "plan" (like ThinWhiteDuchess I was too dilated for my much longed for epidural ) I wasn't freaked out by what was happening as I knew a bit about what was going on, from all the reading I'd done. So wasn't frightened. (and this is what contributed to my 4 hr labour I think, being relaxed about the process.)

I would say, just know what options you have and the pros/cons of them - your birth won't go to a 'plan' but it's great to be informed enough before that you know what kind of birth you would like.

Before my dd's birth I had done my research, been to the classes, and thought I'd be all open-minded and flexible so didn't write a birth plan. IME this was a big mistake, and for #2 I plan to have a detailed plan. For me, it isn't so much about things like candles, music and lighting - but the fact that (a) I want to avoid induction at all costs (b) I want to be encouraged to use a birth pool by everyone (c) I don't want an assisted delivery even if it means I have to have a CS, (d) I do not want pethidine, (e) I want to avoid monitoring. My experience last time - 32 hours, waters artificially broken, contractions 'speeded up' with syntocin, pethidine x3, epidural, ventouse, shoulder dystocia, post-partum haemhorrage, stitches, episiotomy... I think being 'laid back' led to me literally having to lie back and do what the hospital said, which resulted in a long and traumatic labour. I will not let this happen again, and to be sure - I'll have a doula there armed with copies of my preferences and will have her and dh advocating for me to ensure I don't get steamrollered into the 'cascade of intervention' again.

Like a lot of other people have said...don't bother! I wrote one out and then completely disregarded it throughout the birth. All I would do is jot down your wishes in regards to pain relief and stick it in your maternity notes. I had NO EPIDURAL in bright red and 5 minutes after getting to the hospital I was screaming for it. Thankfully, my midwife realised that I would be disappointed if I had had one (NOTE: not judging people who have had epidurals, but because of previous back problems, it just wasn't for me).

The next time round, I'm not going to bother writing one and will just make sure dh knows my wishes.

"Show you the placenta"! Wasn't going to write a plan but I have to now, the only thing coming out I need to see is the baby.

As summerc just said, I think it's best to use the plan as a guide for your partner. I plan to write a short one using the guidelines in my notes (you should have the same) and talk through reasons/exceptions with my husband so that if the docs suggest anything, he's aware of what my preferences are. FWIW, I think the birth plan is less important than being informed about your choices so that you can keep calm on the day when they tell you they need to do something unexpected to help the birth along.

Mine is fairly short:

'Have baby, have cup of tea, kill anyone coming near me with amniotomy hook'

Seriously you may well have a plan, but unless it's identical to the one your baby has it will remain a wishlist.

From my birth plan last time I got one point on the list:

• Have tea and toast afterwards.