What’s worse - contractions or pushing?

[Bbqlady]

I had a precipitous first labour and was fully dilated when I arrived at hospital (3 hours after my waters broke and contractions started). I knew I wanted an epidural as I’d always thought I had a low pain threshold so panicked when they told me I was 10cm and got an epidural with the hope it would take hold before pushing began. It did, and I couldn’t feel much when I was pushing.

Thinking about future babies and wondering if I should’ve just toughed it out for the pushing stage and avoided an epidural. So, what I would like to know is in your experience, which part of labour if the worst - the contractions or the pushing? I’d prefer an all natural labour but worried about the pain.

Just get the epidural much much earlier. I’m surprised they gave you one so late on. I don’t know much about this as I had 2 epidurals and went to sleep during no1 child labour. Had to be woken up to deliver. No pain - total bliss.

How on earth did you get an epidural if you were 10cm on arrival? I’ve had two precipitous labours and they wouldn’t give me an epidural either time or anything at all for that matter?
To answer your question though my experience was I didn’t feel anything much of the pushing because the contractions were so ferocious. With my second I felt her ‘coming around the bend’ and that added a weird layer of sensation but again contractions too painful to really register whether that was painful or not.

Contractions are worse pushing feels like a relief when it comes. Almost like vomiting after feeling nauseous for ages feels like a relief and it happens to you rather than you controlling it

It was a private hospital so they pretty much said “Ok we’ll try but no guarantees it will work in time”. I absolutely would not have been able to get one at that point in an NHS hospital which was actually one of my fears.

The way you just described that actually makes a lot of sense.

I think the epidural took away all of those sensations for me!

Contractions and pushing about the same but crowning is next level! I tore and boy did that hurt.

I found the pushing worse than the contractions. I was in the pool with gas and air for the contractions and dare I say I was almost enjoying myself. It was quiet and warm and calm and I remember feeling like I was at a party.
But I found the pushing really tough and sore and like I couldn't go on. But I did and it was fine. But I'd rather do the contractions again, definitely not the pushing.

Yes absolutely. Contractions for me absolutely the worst part and I remember it and how it felt. Pushing I don’t even remember feeling the pain at all. I think like you say, by that point you’ve transcended to another place (I did read a quote once about how a woman travels to another place whilst pushing to collect her baby and brings them back to our world and delivers them) and it’s so close to meeting the baby I think the brain has moved on from registering the pain.

With my first two -contractions 💯- birthing them was a relief, in the zone, end in sight etc
With my twins- same for the first but after he was delivered, laying there knowing I had to push his brother out was one of the most terrifying experiences I’ve ever had. For about two minutes I was the coldest I have ever felt in my life l, and the pushing was excruciating, but I think it was the fear making it worse as felt rigid with fear
Soon forgotten mind xx

I remember the pain from contractions but not the pain when pushing. Either it wasn't as bad, or it was worse and my brain has intentionally forgotten how bad it was. Contractions were a bitch though.

Contractions were worse for me.

I had a second degree tear both times and didn’t feel either. Pushing was fine, very productive, it was great tbh. My body was in the zone.

Both babies born at home, first in water.

@Bbqlady Do you want all the pain though? What do you gain from it? I could see no benefit at all and I’m not a martyr to thinking pain is somehow a better sensation. Not for me. Just a gentle birth, no pain, no screaming and certainly not frightened. Serene really.

@OhDear111 agree although not sure I would make it in time for pain relief for any subsequent births (if the speed of the first is anything to go by).

The pushing was exhausting and it stung. But the contractions were off the planet. I've never been in so much pain in my life with my firstborn.

Different circles of same hell.

Contractions are more painful imo. I think I'd have managed them better if I could have focused, stayed in the zone and got on top of them, but I was induced, there were more interventions than I'd have liked that broke my flow, and there was a shift handover mid-labour and my notes got lost, which created a mid-labour mini-panic. I would have liked the chance to run them again with an opportunity to just focus on my breathing and body position.

Then the pushing comes when you're shattered and sleep deprived after a long labour and are not equipped for the energy and effort it takes.

For me contractions were worse. Pushing gave a relief to what my body wanted to do. 2nd time same but I knew I was tearing (only a little) but contractions were worse second time as they were very intense due to having a stretch and sweep.

Contractions!

Two babies, but only my first was born vaginally after my second decided he'd far sooner come out the sun roof. They were both inductions.

Pushing was weird. I'd been gotten out of bed to try to do a wee on a commode. I couldn't urinate, but I moaned that I could feel I needed to do a poo, but couldn't. I was high as a kite still on diamorphine, so they got me quickly back to bed. Some time was allowed for passive descent and for the diamorphine to wear off.

Once it did, I had the gas+air taken off me (:'(), drip turned off, and was told when I felt the urge to push to go ahead. However, without the drip, the contractions died off completely and there was no urge to push either. The midwives put the drip back on, contractions ramped back up again, but there was still no urge to push. I was told to just consciously push when I felt a contraction. I remember needing to shout at points, despite not wanting to, so it must've hurt, but I do not remember the pain in the slightest. Contraction pain I remember vividly. Then it was eleven hours of contractions vs. a mere twenty minutes pushing. Easy win for pushing. I had a second degree tear, but didn't feel it.

My second I weirdly did get a vague sensation of needing to push, and consciously did so. But as it turned out I was still only 5cm, needless to say it was slightly unproductive. Turns out it can happen when babies are laying back to back with their head tipped back.

I always feel queasy when I think about the pushing part. Hate that part. But probably because I tend to have short (ish) labours. The crowing - worst pain!

Ah ok.
Well just as a side note don’t agree to an induction on the drip if that comes up. I had one with my second and nearly shot through the roof. Ended up hyperstimulated and so much worse than my first which was all natural. They told me later women who have a history of precipitous labour can react very badly to the drip. If I’d have known I’d have insisted on a c section over that

@Pyjamatimenow that’s good to know, thanks. Did they induce due to the previous precipitous? Or something else?
I’m worried about the speed of any future births!

Contractions, I’d say.

Crowning was the worst bit. I can still remember the burning pain vividly (and my youngest is nearly in double digits).

Contractions.

Looks like (unsurprisingly) its totally different for many women

Contractions are far worse than pushing for me. First baby I went from 1-2cm to a baby in my arms in 2.5 hours (25 minutes of that was pushing). No pain relief because no time (they didn’t think I was in labour until they could see the head).

Second baby was similar timing wise except I only “pushed” for less than 5 mins and head & body came out in the same contraction.

I have only ever experienced a very intense contraction stage. I imagine it’s more akin to what women experience on the hormone drip. I guess you’re the same because you were also quick.

Crowning definitely does hurt and with my first I wanted to close my legs and resist but honestly you just have to push through the pain - the only way is through it.

Going natural next time will probably give you a better idea of what is actually happening with your body. I’ve never been told to push - I’ve always been the one telling them my body is pushing.

Perhaps think about a home birth. After my last baby the midwife said I should definitely consider one next time.