Had the 'big talk' with DH about homebirth and we actually agreed!!!

[whomovedmychocolate]

Following my earlier thread (and thank you to all of you who replied), I sat DH down last night and had a long talk to him about it.

I acknowledged his fears and we talked a bit about them and the 'what if' scenarios and he's agreed that he (a) understands why I want a homebirth if possible; and (b) that he supports me in there, wants to be there and will do what it takes to make it happen.

We've agreed that so long as I have acceptable blood test results at 36 weeks (I have a blood clotting disorder so need prothrombolin tests), manage to get to 37 weeks and the consultant at 38 weeks cannot make a compelling argument against it (backed by evidenced facts) we will attempt the homebirth.

I'm prepared to accept the fact that I might have to transfer AND that I might decide on the day to go to hospital instead, or that I might decide closer to the date I want a repeat cs.

Asking him practical issues like 'where do we put the birth pool/who will fill it/will you do shifts with DD with my mum and if you annoy me or I annoy you, can you swop with my mum and spend an hour with DD instead of me to get a break?' really helped. I'd forgotten that men are problem solvers not empathisers!

So now I just have to order a birth pool and sit tight for another four weeks or so and ignore this tugging tightening sensation in my pelvis fifteen thousand times a day!

But am very pleased that we managed to come to agreement on it, finally.

Excellent haven't seen your earlier thread, but it sounds like this is the best basis for a good birth experience for both of you. Wishing you all the best on the day, whatever happens

P.S. I am making notes for when the time comes to talk through my own birth plan with DP - you both sound very sensible!

Brilliant My dp was a bit reluctant at first but came round in the end too and he loved it.

Starlight - I'm veering towards a La Bassine - because of the handles and they are easier to move through the doorway than birth pool in a box (we are planning to inflate it on the driveway using the car compressor thingy).

I'm due 30th July but am thinking that the 15th July sounds more likely.

Well done, seems like fantastic compromise on both sides, hope you get the birth that you want.

I am so pleased for you WMMC, I look forward to reading your birth story

It is indeed Starlight - actually I reckon they are all pretty much the same. The bassine does look and feel more robust in terms of cocooning you, and you don't feel like you are paddling in the kids pool. One of the problems I have with the birthpool in a box pools is that because of the way they inflate, the pressure is on the horizontal rather than the vertical. So even when filled the sides didn't feel as stable to me.

It is worth actually seeing them if you can. I went to a homebirth course and sat in a Birthpool in a box without the water to check it out for size.

I'm only 5ft 3 and a bit. So a mini sized pool is fine for me (if I have a big one DD might get tempted to get in with me and that's not happening. Also if I want to use it as a ball pit afterwards for DD a big one would cost a blooming fortune to fill with balls.

Yeah, for things being sorted with your husband and your planned homebirth.

"we are planning to inflate it on the driveway using the car compressor thingy"

We have that pool and my DH has put it up and down for the last three weekends in a row.

My DH said your DH will struggle to get the pool through standard sized doors and there is a risk ripping the pool on door frames. We bought their recommended kit and it came with a air pump to blow it up and another pump to empty it.

It takes my DH 30 minutes to blow up and fill our pool, using their kit and about the same to empty and deflate it.

I really enjoy getting time to float and will miss it this weekend (we have visitors over)

We have double doors on the building I'm giving birth in - not the house - the studio next door. We wouldn't get a chair through the regular front door let alone a birth pool.

I actually just bought a siphon bath water saver pump from Lakeland so there doesn't seem much point doubling up on the kit. We apparently have an electric compressor for blowing the thing up not related to the car, but the car can be pulled right up to the studio doors and has a two foot hose so that should bridge the gap easily anyway.

Sounds good with double doors...enjoy your pool