C section recovery and toddler

[Lid98]

Hi everyone, I go in for my c section on Friday and my main concern throughout whole pregnancy has been how this will all affect my toddler (he's 2 yrs and 3 months). He's high energy boy, i'd say pretty placid but a definite mummy's boy.

This will be my second c section only difference is this one is planned.

My questions are how long did people actually wait to lift there toddler, 6 weeks will crush me I feel. What was people recovery like the second time around and how did toddler cope?

Honestly just so worried about how I'll split my time and give them both what they need!

I found just arranging sit-down cuddles, cuddles on bed, toddler coming to join me etc worked well. No issue needing to pick up. And should definitely avoid lifting them until feeling strong. Very different ball game lifting toddler compared to a newborn which you will have had with your first.

Just making sure you still have 1 on 1 them, toddler coming to you, and also letting toddler hold baby (on bed, supervised) will help involve them in the care. They adapt well. Hope everything goes smoothly.

I had 2 year old twins when my youngest was born. The way I thought of it was the baby fitted in with us not the other way around. I did not lift them for a few weeks for recovery it was bad enough when I accidentally lifted the cat up and wish I hadn't. I was lucky and didn't have a velcro baby and he was happy to be in the moses basket between feeds. Would he sit next to you in the sofa while you are holding baby looking at books. Mine had a small table next to the sofa so we could still play games like pairs and doing puzzles together while me sitting with baby.

Thanks guys this is really helpful, I think just taking it one day at a time. But yes he would be accepting of sitting next to me etc.

I am in the same boat as you. Having a c-section next Thursday and I’ve got quite a boisterous 4 year old and I’m wondering how to juggle it all! I think as long as we make it clear we still have time for them and plenty of cuddles, they should adapt (fingers crossed!) x

@Henbags oo good luck! Its such a worry isn't it but I feel like the anticipation might be worse than the event like as soon as we do it and get into a rhythm sure it'll be fine x

Fingers crossed! Good luck to you too :)

I’ve had two planned C sections: with the first one I had a 2.5 year old girl, and for the second a nearly 3 year old boy and a 5 year old girl. I didn’t lift the children for the first 6 weeks either time, but it really wasn’t a problem. They were all happy to cuddle next to me on the sofa and play games/ read books at the table or on the sofa rather than the floor as usual. It was absolutely fine both times. I found it very helpful to keep a pillow in my lap to stop any stray elbows or legs from hurting the scar.

The recovery was fine both times. If anything, I found it easier the second time. I don’t know if the surgeon was better, or I was more used to it, or both.

I’m actually lucky I didn’t have any other children when I gave birth vaginally to my first. My bladder and pelvic floor were wrecked, I had lots of follow up appointments and was restricted standing and walking for a couple of months afterwards.

Best of luck! It will be great!

My second was 21 months, both planned sections. Honestly recovery was fine. At the time it felt a little slower than with my first but I think that's because my first section was ridiculously easy.

I was able to pain free chase toddler round the garden on day 5, had a bunch of friends round for a BBQ on day 6, and then was going down slides at soft play the following week. So who knows why at the time it seemed slow 😂.

In terms of lifting, I picked her up from still (ie into the swings) at 10ish days, but waited a few more days before walking whilst carrying her. By 3 weeks I was tandem carrying them in the sling - newborn on my front, toddler on my back, taking them to baby groups etc. I very much followed my body though and didn't feel like I was pushing myself, didn't feel in pain etc. The only real pain I felt during the sections was trapped gas initially and then constipation. The actual section didn't cause any pain whatsoever. I did get very lucky though.

Completely ignored the guidance and lifted ds … ended up with an infection 🤢

It actually wasn’t all that bad but don’t make that mistake! It is hard though: they don’t really understand and you feel bad.

I got my pair of toddlers a folding stool each! That way they could climb up into things like their car seats and the high chairs and I could buckle them in.
They loved those stools and they came all over with us for about a year!

Just for add on reflection - I had severe SPD from my first trimester, so by the time I had the baby, my toddler was used to being careful with me and knew I couldn't pick her up and walk etc. So although I did pick her up early etc, she probably didn't need that as much as other kids get age, so it wasn't all the time.