Calling Lulu.... I need some advise if you are free......

[lardylumps]

Lulu I have just got a tentative (only on eBay cheapys at the moment I am doing a FR in 4 hours) BFP and need some advise. I really want to look at having a HB this time around because I don?t want to go to hospital and be away from dd for too long. However DP is ruling this out without discussion. I really want to consider it, but he says that after last birth it is not an option.

Dd was back to back and twisted, this meant (although we didn't know it at the time) that every contraction was pushing on the back of her neck and not on her head. I also had a lip on my cervix that wouldn't soften so to cut a long story short she got stuck. Her heart rate dropped to 40 bpm and didn?t come back up so they cut me down below and pulled her out with forceps. We were later told it was touch and go and that another 15 minutes would have been bad news.

He says that in this case if we had been at home we would of lost dd and it is just not worth the risk.

I was just wondering if it is likely that this could happen a second time (i.e. lip on cervix, and baby possition) or was it just a freak.

Also my waters broke 2 days before my labour started and so had to keep going in and out to check on dd as she was at risk of infection (don?t know if this is related or not).

i can only give my non medical opinion, and you need to do lots of research and help your DH to see you are making an informed decision if you do go for a homebirth...

i would imagine that your DDs position may have contributed to you needing a forceps delivery.. also a cervical lip can be caused by pushing too early and the cervix becomes swollen.. many times that occurs due to the mother being encouraged to push too soon or baby pressing down in an odd way.... if her heart beat was comging down and staying down then obviously that is quite serious and it is a good thing that she was born without any issues.

there is every chance that second time, things will run smoother, being able to move around , being active and listening to your body can help avoid pushing too soon

you can do excercises and sit certain ways to encourage baby into a better position for birth

ultimately, you need to feel confident in your body's ability, and your DH does too..

also, your waters breaking before labour might have made it harder for baby to get into a better position for birth

your DP needs to discuss this with you, but i imagine that his fears are all consuming at hthe moment.

do you think a doula would be a help for you both, so he has the extra support too>

whatever you decide, do lots of reading and research and make the right decision for you !

Thank you for this Lulu I am going to do lots of research and when the time comes ask dp to come to MW with me so we can discuss it with her as well...

It is very early days at the moment so I am not going to push him yet because I do understand his worries.

Thanks for your time.

pleaseure, lardylumps

if i can do anything else, let me know. lots of good research and info on here if you search the archives.

kerrymum, let me know when you have confirmed your dates !