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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Birth stories and advice?

16 replies

Marielou101 · 01/01/2026 23:21

I gave birth almost 4 years ago and I’m due to have my 2nd in the coming months. Birth the 2nd time around is kind of making me anxious as I know what I have to and need to do😂 if that makes sense

my first birth was simple and beautiful, in active labour for 6 hours and pushed for 5 minutes with an epidural. I did tear (2nd degree) I think it was due to me pushing fast and my body pushing before I recognised. I did have retained placenta also but other than that a pretty straight forward and quiet birth.

i am debating doing birth alone, before anyone asks my family were my partners with my son and were so amazing and supportive, with words of wisdom and holding my water bottle and helping me hydrate. However, I just want zen and to prove to myself I can do this. The babies dad probably would like to be there however he lives 40 minutes away and his sister had a natural birth and he’s adamant I don’t take any drugs and that I have a specific birth like her as she didn’t tear or have any issues

I want pure zen and peace, I want to enjoy birth and relish in that moment. I can’t give birth at home due to being high risk, however am thinking about if a birth centre is an option as I want to attempt no epidural purely for the reason to get home quicker however please share the births you had and your advice

i should make it clear the babies dad will be aware as soon as the birth/pushing is drawing close so he can make it to that part atleast

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Hollyjollynights · 01/01/2026 23:26

Do you really get home quicker with no epidural? I’d check that personally. I had one and gave birth at 11pm and was going home by midday the next day. Given you need to have all sorts of checks done on the baby, and want to check you’re feeding ok if you’re breastfeeding, I’m not sure you could get out much quicker than that anyway?

definitely don’t have the babies dad there, it’s not a spectator sport and you’re not deciding by committee what happens with your body. His logic is also stupid and so I wouldn’t want someone like that making decisions for me at a key moment like birth.

Original poster
Marielou101 · 01/01/2026 23:31

Hollyjollynights · 01/01/2026 23:26

Do you really get home quicker with no epidural? I’d check that personally. I had one and gave birth at 11pm and was going home by midday the next day. Given you need to have all sorts of checks done on the baby, and want to check you’re feeding ok if you’re breastfeeding, I’m not sure you could get out much quicker than that anyway?

definitely don’t have the babies dad there, it’s not a spectator sport and you’re not deciding by committee what happens with your body. His logic is also stupid and so I wouldn’t want someone like that making decisions for me at a key moment like birth.

hmm maybe not, I just was under the impression that if you had a straight forward and natural birth you weren’t kept in overnight. I will definitely double check it, I do plan to breastfeed this time so that may keep me and baby in longer also.

With my son I gave birth at 11:30am and was home the next evening for 6pm, I just think being on the noisy ward started to get to me. Was hoping to avoid that if possible but I just have to be thankful for a healthy baby

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annlee3817 · 02/01/2026 00:15

With my second she was born at 6.33pm and I was home by 11.30pm, no epidural. Just had to promise to come back in the morning for newborn checks.

With my first I stayed in overnight, I could have been home by lunchtime, she was born 7.17am, but they asked if I would like to stay in for help with breastfeeding, so I went home the following day, you don't have to stay for this, you'll have health visitor visits and they can offer you advice. With DD2 my follow up visits helped massively with breastfeeding.

Esssa · 02/01/2026 00:27

Can I ask what makes you high risk? Cos depending on what it is you could still plan for a home birth. You can always go in on the day if that's where your gut tells you to be. I had 2 out of guidelines home water births but my only reason for being high risk was my BMI. 2 quick straightforward births. 2nd degree tear both times due to how baby shot out at the end with no help from me. Both times stitched at home. Straight into my own bed. Would definitely recommend. And would definitely not have someone there who was dictating what you do with your body.

Original poster
Marielou101 · 02/01/2026 00:42

Esssa · 02/01/2026 00:27

Can I ask what makes you high risk? Cos depending on what it is you could still plan for a home birth. You can always go in on the day if that's where your gut tells you to be. I had 2 out of guidelines home water births but my only reason for being high risk was my BMI. 2 quick straightforward births. 2nd degree tear both times due to how baby shot out at the end with no help from me. Both times stitched at home. Straight into my own bed. Would definitely recommend. And would definitely not have someone there who was dictating what you do with your body.

My history of losses, I have a chance of high blood loss due to my iron and I tend to birth small babies that is what the consultants have said is my reasoning for being high risk. I am leaning towards trying a water birth, I have heard so many positive stories

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Letsbeeavenue · 02/01/2026 00:47

No partner would be adamant I didn’t take drugs if I needed them…

Rosalee84 · 02/01/2026 00:48

Midwives often care for women who are categorised as high risk who choose to have home births, surely this would be a safer option, I’ve had 5 home births with midwives, (including my last where I was in the high risk bracket and obviously they needed to make sure I was informed of the risks) all very positive experiences

Esssa · 02/01/2026 00:49

All of that could be manageable if you asked. I'm sorry for your losses. I've only got 2 children from my 8 pregnancies so I'm not naive to it unfortunately. Mine are all early losses though so your situation could well be different. As I understand it low iron means if you lose blood you are more likely to feel the effect than someone with an adequate count. You are statistically less likely to bleed at home though. If that's not up your street definitely ask for a birth preferences meeting to get them to okay a water birth. Mine were a game changer for pain relief and for helping my son finally position himself properly for his exit.

RabbitsEatPancakes · 02/01/2026 01:12

Given birth at 2 birthing units. Lovely, the midwives did tealights and music and big double bed for afterwards. Rooms had pools and other equipment for giving birth in natural positions. I was home 4hrs and 6hrs after giving birth but they offered both times for me to stay longer in the rooms if I wanted.

Big difference between the 2 units in room sizes! One was brand new and the other a bit older.

OhamIreally · 02/01/2026 08:00

He doesn’t get to be adamant about what you do with your body.

sittingonabeach · 02/01/2026 08:03

Do you know what caused your retained placenta?

Mumofsoontobe3 · 02/01/2026 08:13

I've had 3 babies. First was induction with epidural.
Second, epidural, it was long but pain free. 1st labour was 9 hours, second 12 and my third I gave birth in 32 min with paracetamol and gas and air. All home within 24 hours. ☺️

Original poster
Marielou101 · 02/01/2026 19:54

sittingonabeach · 02/01/2026 08:03

Do you know what caused your retained placenta?

Honestly no, they did scan to confirm it was all removed after it came away 12 hours later. None of the nurses seemed bothered phased they just scooped it up and popped it in a cardboard bowl 😂 I think it may have been due to them making me lay in bed from epidural until the moment they removed the catheter and once I stood up, part of it just fell out of me

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sittingonabeach · 02/01/2026 22:16

@Marielou101 did they not manually remove it? Mine was removed a few hours after birth of DC. Had to be done by consultant, so needed to be in hospital

PurpleDiva22 · 02/01/2026 22:28

I felt way more in control of my labour with baby number 2. To start with, I was more able to voice my concerns and opinions, and was listened to more. Baby 1 was without epidural as she came too quick, but I opted for one at the last second with baby 2 and it was the best thing I did. I was totally in control once I got it. The pain before it was overpowering me a little and I couldnt really get a technique going to get me through - in comparison to labour 1 where I was more able. My pushes this time were so powerful (in comparison to 1st time where I really didn't have a fucking clue what I was at and couldn't push properly), it was a really calm, zen experience. Once I got the epidural the midwives told me approx what time I would be starting to push at, and it really was a very positive experience.

Original poster
Marielou101 · 02/01/2026 22:36

sittingonabeach · 02/01/2026 22:16

@Marielou101 did they not manually remove it? Mine was removed a few hours after birth of DC. Had to be done by consultant, so needed to be in hospital

No mine was removed after birth with the injection however 14 hours later I stood up and a smaller piece of the placenta fell out and they scanned me confirmed there was no other remaining pieces, however was given a massage just to be sure

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