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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Rate your first labour from a 1 to 10

69 replies

34ransum · 31/10/2025 15:09

This is a random question, and I'm very aware you can't really objectively quantify a labour and delivery. There will likely have been moments of many emotions and times of pain, worry, relief..

I guess I'd like to know what the average first birth is like. Do we just hear the exciting / horror stories but the majority go smoothly?

I ask as my first labour was an emergency c section, but nothing dramatic. Baby didn't want to come, limited pain as I had the epidural, all was well that ended well. I was disappointed as I had my heart set on a vaginal birth, so I personally didn't feel proud or empowered.

If 1 was a dramatic and painful experience and 10 was the labour I'd hoped for, I'd rate it as a 6 out of 10- all was okay, nothing too eventful, but it wasn't the euphoric natural delivery I'd planned and hoped for.

In this last year, 3 of my SILs, 2 close friends and a few Facebook friends have all had natural and pretty straightforward births. Is this really the norm for 1st timers? Or were they quite lucky?

If you feel like sharing, was your 1st birth easy and wonderful (a 10) or a shit show (1), or somewhere in between?

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 01/11/2025 16:57

First child 1 out of 10 and I never had any more children because it was so awful. I'd give the experience minus 10 if I could.

MountainBiker · 01/11/2025 16:58

1st was a 1.
2nd was a 10.
Haven't been lucky enough to have a third

Hellohelloworld · 01/11/2025 16:59

only had 1 for now, and i would do it again! it was painful no epidural, but just amazing feeling 10/10

Edinvillian · 01/11/2025 16:59

Both of mine were natural and straight forward. Gas and air for both, no stitches. First was 6 hours and second was 2 hours.

MondeoFan · 01/11/2025 17:01

8/10 natural birth and episiotomy stitches after

roshi42 · 01/11/2025 17:04

9 out of 10. Nice civilised, quick, scheduled C-section and discharged the next day. Recovery was easy. Only loses a point because I’m left with an odd post-surgery swelling no one seems to be able to do anything about. Actual scar totally healed though and no other complications.

user4534 · 01/11/2025 17:07

1st 7/10 - water birth fairly quick, but did get a 3rd degree tear

2nd 1/10 - ended in emergency hysterectomy and onto ventilator in icu…

OldMaaa · 04/11/2025 07:35

First was fine. Not what I would ideally have wanted but I still have good memories.
Waters broke, had induction on the oxy drip approx 24 hours later in hospital. Managed to stay active on my birthday ball until pushing started, despite all the drips attached to me. Pushing took a long time though and I had an episiotomy, but avoided forceps (woo!). No drugs, just my trusty tens machine. Although I did start shouting about an epidural during transition. 😂Stitches after labour were the worst bit by far (I shouldn't have turned down the gas an air for that bit in hindsight).

My second was a dream, water birth, in a lovely quiet midwife led unit (I was the only lady giving birth that night so we had it to ourselves), and pushing took about 5 minutes.

Overall I had positive experiences both times and would happily give birth again. No more babies for me though!

OldMaaa · 04/11/2025 07:36

I just realised I didn't rate. Probably 8/10 for the first and 10/10 for the second. Although second bruised my tailbone and I was in agony getting up and down for months after. Win some lose some!

MyIvyGrows · 04/11/2025 07:38

Mine was very straightforward, birthing pool and entonox, not long from arriving at hospital (4am) to giving birth (9am). I did have a second degree tear but it healed well.

it was still very stressful for me though and I had flashbacks for months afterwards, and I was eventually diagnosed with PTSD a couple of years later and had therapy to deal with that.

mumoronegirl · 04/11/2025 07:38

Only had one delivery. Daughter was 8 days late. Contractions started late afternoon. Went to the birthday ward at 8pm. Daughter was born at 10.45pm in the birthing pool with just gas and air. No issues at all. Not all first births are bad!

Maraudingmarauders · 04/11/2025 07:40

1st (and so far only) I got as far as a cannula in my hand for induction before I was whisked of for cat 1 EMCS.
Pain free pretty much though I had a miserable reaction to the drugs, I couldn’t stop throwing up, shaking and trying to scratch my face off because of the itching for the first few hours, but once that settled down I found recovery very easy (though don’t talk to me about the first poo).

I had hoped for a water birth 🤣 Once I’d waved goodbye to that idea as I had to go through for induction and had high blood pressure I wasn’t too upset about the EMCS, just glad to have him out. I’d been begging for an induction from 40+3 after two failed sweeps, they left me until 42weeks and I was DONE.

Baby was in distress, I’d lost my waters in some unknown time as he was bone dry in there, covered in meconium and had the cord twice around his neck so he wasn’t going anywhere without the c-section and we were very lucky to just have 4days post birth in hospital with antibiotics. I’d give it 3/10 for a birth experience despite lack of pain.

Mumbletoomuch · 04/11/2025 07:44

10

crossedlines · 04/11/2025 07:55

Interesting question…. First dc 10/10 for the care, support etc as he was born in a small midwife unit, all very low tech, just me dh and midwife. But probably 4/10 in terms of pain because it hurt like hell.
second dc, same midwife unit, 10/10 for overall experience again, probs 8/10 for pain as being a second labour wasn’t as long and although painful, nothing like having your first birth.

now this is where it gets really interesting…
third dc - C section as breech. Obviously had to be a hospital birth. 3/10 for overall experience, felt very impersonal, lots of shift changes of staff, I was on a noisy post natal ward… I felt the birth was ‘done to me,’ rather than feeling empowered like my other births. But 10/10 in terms of no real pain, I had an epidural for the Csection.

Mumof1andacat · 04/11/2025 08:02

0/10 or less if possible. So awful. Dismissive staff, poor attitude from them, induced, no progression so on the drip, back to back, delivered in theatre with forceps, cut, tore and a nicu stay. My ds has remained an only. It's had a lasting effect on my life.

Mama09876 · 05/11/2025 13:37

7 or 8 out 10

1st: was quick thankfully! On and off contractions 24hrs before. All manageable morning of, waters went at 6pm, got to hospital for 7pm was only 3cm didn’t want to go home due to drive back. Luckily I didn’t! Was born 4hrs later.

only had gas & air for last 20mins, wish I’d had it sooner! But was still in the examination room for most of the labour so no gas & air, only got to labour room to push. Pain was excruciating but thankfully quick but that did mean I was a bit in shock and shaking.

apart from the small bits above overall I had a really positive birth.

pregnant with my 2nd and hoping for the same/similar, I just want that gas and air sooner!!! 😂😂

Nowheretobeseen · 05/11/2025 15:47

DS1 I had preeclampsia and had to be induced, then had a forceps delivery. I had an epidural so didn’t feel anything. Birth wise wasn’t too bad. The episiotomy was awful, I couldn’t sit down for weeks.

DS2 induced again. Horrendous birth, he got stuck and the machine broke that was giving me pain relief.. room full of doctors and nurses.. the most painful, distressing experience. I even passed out during labour.

Retro12 · 05/11/2025 15:53

34ransum · 31/10/2025 15:09

This is a random question, and I'm very aware you can't really objectively quantify a labour and delivery. There will likely have been moments of many emotions and times of pain, worry, relief..

I guess I'd like to know what the average first birth is like. Do we just hear the exciting / horror stories but the majority go smoothly?

I ask as my first labour was an emergency c section, but nothing dramatic. Baby didn't want to come, limited pain as I had the epidural, all was well that ended well. I was disappointed as I had my heart set on a vaginal birth, so I personally didn't feel proud or empowered.

If 1 was a dramatic and painful experience and 10 was the labour I'd hoped for, I'd rate it as a 6 out of 10- all was okay, nothing too eventful, but it wasn't the euphoric natural delivery I'd planned and hoped for.

In this last year, 3 of my SILs, 2 close friends and a few Facebook friends have all had natural and pretty straightforward births. Is this really the norm for 1st timers? Or were they quite lucky?

If you feel like sharing, was your 1st birth easy and wonderful (a 10) or a shit show (1), or somewhere in between?

Absolutely traumatic experience. I was allowed to labour for over three days by incompetent midwives, despite having a pre-existing condition that should have ruled out natural birth. By the time I gave birth, I was completely exhausted.
The aftercare was appalling, and the hospital was at fault on multiple counts of negligence. But i have my beautiful child now!

Bells3032 · 05/11/2025 16:08

1st probably a 7. the actual labour was about 3.5 hours in total and a very small graze, very natural and only used gas and air (not by choice mind you i wanted the epidural but progressed too quick) but i'd had pproms 48 hours before and my baby was only 34+1 but thankfully healthy and no NICU required, but anxiety was extremely high. but i was bouncing around the room within 20 minutes.

2nd probably a 5. 38+6. induced due to diabetes. I was already 2cm but babys head was too high to break waters so given the pessary at noon. contractions started at 7:30pm but ramped up too fast and was having 9 in ten minutes so at 9 was given the reversal for the pessary. wasn't allowed any pain relief til was 4cm and on the labour ward though so never got ANY. contractions slowed down a bit til 930 when waters broke naturally and i was 4cm so hurrah could be taken to the labour ward. Baby arrived on the way to the labour ward at 10pm before i could even get my trousers off. 2nd degree tear (thankfully stopped just shy of 3rd degree) but it took me 57 mins to deliver the placenta (if i'd hit an hour i'd have had to go down to surgery) and i started shaking badly so couldn't hold baby for about 2 hours til I calmed down, placenta delivered and sewn up. lost about twice the blood as first one so was a bit shaky on my feet for a few hours. recovery was ok though a lot more painful than the first.

Cotswoldmama · 05/11/2025 16:22

1st was a premmie and I had bern in labour fir 4 days so 3/10. Second 10/10 in a midwife led maternity hospital.

julesagain · 05/11/2025 16:23

Both were a 10. Drug free pain free water birth, intense and uncomfortable at times, but never painful.

elliejjtiny · 05/11/2025 16:43

1st was an 8 (home birth, 4.5 hours)
2nd was a 6 (back to back, incredibly painful, 1.5 hours)
3rd was a 10 (came in for induction, went into spontaneous labour while waiting for a bed, 2 hours)
4th was a 2 (elective c-section)
5th was a 3 (failed induction, emergency c-section)

ladygindiva · 05/11/2025 22:16

10
I was pleasantly surprised by how short ( 4/5 hrs) manageable and complication free it was. I was expecting a 48 hour nightmare like my friend. I'm aware I was very lucky

Ocelotfeet27 · 05/11/2025 22:20

9

Slightyamusedandsilly · 05/11/2025 22:39

1st was awful. 1 out of 10. I actually wanted to die it was so long, painful and traumatic.