Community Midwifes not supporting my home birth

[BabiesEverywhere]

I feel like screaming they won't stop looking for problems. Up to now I have played ball and been to hospital for countless blood tests etc and I am sick of them.

I refused an referal for a growth scan (I don't care if I have a big baby) I was told I had to wait in today to speak to the team leader. My DH took the day off work and she never turned up !!!

Eventually got though to her at 4pm, she said she was going to ring tonight and rearrange for the weekend !!! Thanks a lot, after DH has wasted a holiday day for nothing and I have been stressed waiting for her to turn up

Had a brief chat on the phone and I explained that I am unconcerned by the size of my baby and if there was no medical reason I am happy to stand by not going for loads of growth scans.

But what if you were told you had a 11lb baby, I replied I would still stay at home and have a 'trial of labour' and hope that the scan was out in my favour (i.e. They can be out a pound or more)

She mentioned GD and GTT test, I explained no sugar in wee so was there a need for further testing. She suggested I had GD in last pregnancy and I explained I had done a GTT test and passed with flying colours, I just grow large babies (8 lbs 12 ozs last one)

So then she started going on about how she didn't want my baby to die, due to shoulder problems and that they don't carry the right kit to resuss babies. (WTF, I wonder what her boss would think of that statement)

That she didn't care if I hated her for transferring me. !?! (Bearing in mind this is 2 months before my due date) and on zero evidence, she has already decided that she intents on transferring me to hospital

I am so damm angry, upset and feel so let down

Lulumama Im not saying it's wrong for the OP to push hard for a HD or saying it is not her right - I was just sauying that in an envirnoment where they are obviously not comfortable, the actual experience may not be good. It would be a bit of a hollow victory if she was attended by a midwife (or 2 - don't see that makes a difference) who were lacking confidence, and failed to fully support her.

I have just put the point in my letter that I want a fully trained confident pro home birth midwife and if they send me a uncooperative midwife we will refuse her assistance and I will hold the CE responsible.

Surely there must be a confident pro home birth midwife in the communtiy homebirth teams, else why are they in this job.

I am not being horrible or unreasonable. I just want an honest attempt at birthing at home, if midwife awho I could trust had genuine medical concerns I would transfer. I just don't want a negative midwife to turn up, invent a reason to transfer and disapear...surely that is not asking for too much

It is like me training to be a milkman and then refusing to deal with milk

that is true, diplodocus, which is why the OP is within her rights to have these issues with reluctant/ not trained / not comfortable with homebirth midwives retrained or not sent to her when she is in labour.

women should not have to worry they will be attended by someone who would rather be elsewhere.

freebirthing with a MW kind of defeats the whole premise of freebirthing!

i am wholly opposed to freebirthing... and i make a distinction between freebirthing and birth before arrival of a midwife.... if you look throughout history, women have always, on the whole, been attended during birth, by other mothers, grandmothers, lay midwives etc...

to give birth totally without someone trained or experienced in the room or same building seems counterintuitive to me.

Babies, could you afford to go private and then claim the money back off of he NHS if they refuse your wishes?

Agree Lulumama - hope there is a suitable midwife that fit's your criteria Babies - shouldn't be too much to ask! Are you also asking that you meet them (or more than one if they can't guarantee which one) beforehand?

like the NHS with their infinite resources can do that

babies, can you email me please?

sorry , that was to posie's suggestion.

I could do it if I popped to France for an operation, why not?

"Babies, could you afford to go private and then claim the money back off of he NHS if they refuse your wishes?"
ROTFLMAO....No

More tongue in cheek than serious, missed the end of the first post!! OOO I'm leaving this thread before I prove that having four does serious things to ones reasoning!!

if BE could do that, she could pay for an indie midwife and not worry about this !!

starlight, are you obsessing again? do you have a doula sorted?

lulu, Is that one that loves the Stone Roses???

it is posie ! and wears tie dye and had a nose ring... oh no, that was me 15 years ago! LOL!

starlight, we were all trainees once !! her passion , enthusiasm and interest will be worth their weight in gold. experience is not the be all and end all. she is not delivering your baby, but giving an extra facet of support and one to one help

i hope you click. you need someone shaking their pompoms for you!

please, for the love of god, start enjoying your pregnancy. you only have a few weeks left, and you need to just 'be' !!!

and i am saying that in the nicest, nicest, possible way

BabiesEverywhere, I was turned down for an automatic approval for a homebirth with DD. Kind of understandable as DS1 had been 10lb 1 oz DS2 was "only" 8lb 4oz but I neglected to point out he'd been 2 weeks early...

I also refused a GTT (despite failing one with DS2) on the grounds that there was no glucose in my urine but I agreed to a growth scan at 38 weeks. I didn't mind an extra scan but there was no way on earth I was jumping through the GTT/GD hoops again. End result was the decision that I was having a bigun but (in the words of the consultant) "not a monster" and everyone was happy for me to have a HB (I was having one anyway as far as I was concerned. Also, my MW was supportive but couldn't automatically allow me a HB as DS1 was way outside their size guidelines). DD was 8lb 10oz, not far off their estimate as it happens.

Oh, I felt like you as I could see everything stacking up against me. I was convinced the consultant would say I couldn't have a HB as I was so sure they were all against it. He surprised me by being incredibly blase about it in the end!

it's not the consultant's decision SD all midwives have an obligation to attend a labouring woman, they'd be struck off if they didn't

"Please don't consider freebirthing. I feel very strongly about this growing trend having worked in developing countries where unattended deliveries are the norm. Maternal deaths are relatively rare, but neonatal deaths are 10-15 times more frequent. This has little to do with poverty etc"

I don't think it's completely fair to use the position of women in developing countries when you're trying to make a point about unassisted birth in the UK. Women in these countries who give birth alone or with traditional birth attendents have often had no or minimal antenatal care or screening. They also have very poor access to emergency medicine.

There was an interesting article on 'born before arrival' (ie unassisted births) in this month's MIDIRS. It looked at one small study of 29 unassisted births which happened over one year in a particular area. Of the 29 women in the study who'd delivered before getting to hospital, 6 were assessed as 'high risk' with problems including mitral valve prolapse, low platelets, previous myomectomy, intravenous drug use, hepatitis c positive, history of deep vein thrombosis, a concealed pregnancy (so no antenatal care) , and previous c-section.

Out of the group maternal outcomes were described as 'good', while 20% (ie 6) of the babies needed admittance to special care - most because of hypothermia (so basically if they'd been put skin to skin and covered up immediately they probably would have been fine.......) In other words two or fewer out of 29 babies born to these women needed special care - which is similar to the numbers of babies needing special care who are born in hospital on maternity units. There was no serious morbidity in either the mothers or the babies in this group.

Anyway - this is a small study and I'm not trying to make a case for unassisted birth. I wouldn't do it myself (although I've been tempted) or encourage any one else to consider it. However I know women who've done it and I think I understand what drives them to it. I do think women need to be reassured that the vast majority of babies born at term to low risk, healthy mums do just fine, even when there is no midwife present!