Hi all!
I just wanted to do this post because I wish I’d read one like it 18 months ago.
I had my son in April 2024. Very difficult delivery, he was very big. Had forceps + episiotomy which extended into my bum (3b tear.) I remember scrolling online the weeks after it happened and crying because many of the stories I found were about people who ended up with incurable bowel incontinence. I did suffer from this in the initial days after it happened and everybody just kind of shrugged and said ‘well we HOPE you’ll make a good recovery. Many people do.’
3 months pp had a physio appointment where they found a prolapse. More doom and gloom thinking I’d never run again and I was going to end up having to have my vagina sewn shut (I do tend to catastrophise.)
5 months pp bum scan which showed a small persistent defect in my sphincter muscles. When I googled this it said I was going to poo myself forever.
Anyway the long and short of it is that the prolapse did not go away fully but has improved enormously with consistency doing pelvic floor physio, so I can run now if I want. I can use tampons fine, sex is fine, all good.
I don’t poo myself. I have about an hour from the first little signal that I need to go. If I’ve got a stomach upset it’s much less- big setback when I had noro about a year postpartum- but I just take an Imodium as soon as I get that squirmy stomach feeling and it’s fine. I can mostly hold a fart unless I’m taken by surprise with a big sneeze.
I had CBT for PTSD and now I can talk about the birth like a normal person and not cry, and I do not feel pissed off about it anymore. (Well, not as pissed off as I did.)
Since I’ve gone back to work I think about it all a lot less than when I was on leave.
So if you’ve just had a bad tear and you’re freaking out, try not to worry. It will more likely be fine.