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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

**TW** Stillborn labour experiences

11 replies

andanotherproblem · 18/09/2025 19:43

I found out today that I have lost my baby at 25 weeks, I am due to give birth on Saturday. I’m hoping some people are willing to share their experiences as I have no idea what to expect, I have one DD already, can I expect a similar labour, will it last as long? Any advice would be greatly appreciated and I understand it will be hard to share experiences

OP posts:
Fluffybydesign · 18/09/2025 19:48

Im so sorry for what your going through. My first passed away at 20 weeks due to a brain abnormality. It was a long labour. I had my rainbow baby and it was equally long. I highly recommend Sands the charity for support. They really helped me and the Facebook group helped me link with others. Best wishes, take it day by day x

andanotherproblem · 18/09/2025 20:04

Fluffybydesign · 18/09/2025 19:48

Im so sorry for what your going through. My first passed away at 20 weeks due to a brain abnormality. It was a long labour. I had my rainbow baby and it was equally long. I highly recommend Sands the charity for support. They really helped me and the Facebook group helped me link with others. Best wishes, take it day by day x

Thank you, I appreciate hearing this. I’m also sorry for your loss and happy you got your rainbow baby xx

OP posts:
ShaneWalshgirlfriend · 18/09/2025 20:13

I'm so sorry. It's devastating.

My labour was long as well but they did throw all the pain relief I wanted at it. Everyone was very kind.

We chose for our son to be blessed when he arrived. The next day our pastor came to visit him and I felt- and still feel- that I'm glad that someone outside of our family got to meet him.

Best wishes.

Pleep · 18/09/2025 20:25

I'm so sorry.

I lost my first baby at almost 42 weeks. Labour was induced with a drip a few days later. In my memory, the worst time was the limbo you are in now, knowing your precious baby won't be born alive, but still carrying them with you. I didn't want to let go really.

The midwives and the doctors and everyone you come across will be so kind. They will really look after you, and they will be genuinely sad for you. During the labour they will support you and your partner. You will probably have all the available pain options. I had an epidural at the same time as the induction. It meant things were calm. I considered trying to birth my baby with no pain relief, as a sort of way to connect to my baby I think. But the epidural was the right thing for me. I was in so much pain emotionally, I couldn't bear any physical pain.

Once your baby is born, the world will stop for a moment and you will never, never forget those precious seconds of first laying eyes on your beautiful angel. The staff will help you take little hand and foot prints, and they will help you dress your baby if you want, and will take photos for you if you want. They will give you a memory book if you want. You will get the chance to hold your baby and sing the them if you want. Your family will have to chance to visit and see your baby, if you want them too. My siblings came over, and it was just the saddest, saddest day, but it surrounded me with love, and they all had a cuddle.

Now that several years have passed, I look back on the labour experience and the following few hours as one of the loveliest experiences of my life. There was so much care, so much love and so much beauty. Please don't be scared of the next few days. I'll be thinking of you, and I am sure everyone you know will be holding you and your baby in their thoughts.

MrsFCastle · 17/10/2025 12:05

I don’t have any advice to give but didn’t want to read and run. I’m so very very sorry for your loss x

NotrialNodeal · 17/10/2025 12:11

You could call your local hospital and ask to be put in touch with their bereavement midwife she will hopefully be able to go through your worries and concerns with you. I am very sorry for your loss. 💐

HelpMeUnpickThis · 17/10/2025 12:16

Just wanted to say I am so very sorry for your loss 💐

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 17/10/2025 12:22

I'm very sorry that this has happened to you.
You can choose to have an epidural put in at the same time as the induction is started. That way, at least you won't be feeling physical pain.

The labour might take a while to get going, but once it does, it will probably be a fairly quick delivery.

You'll be asked if you'd like to see your baby and there will be further opportunities for you to see the baby after the delivery.

There will be a special bereavement midwife attached to the hospital, and she'll talk you through everything.

Again, my deepest sympathy for the loss of your beloved baby.

andanotherproblem · 17/10/2025 19:15

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 17/10/2025 12:22

I'm very sorry that this has happened to you.
You can choose to have an epidural put in at the same time as the induction is started. That way, at least you won't be feeling physical pain.

The labour might take a while to get going, but once it does, it will probably be a fairly quick delivery.

You'll be asked if you'd like to see your baby and there will be further opportunities for you to see the baby after the delivery.

There will be a special bereavement midwife attached to the hospital, and she'll talk you through everything.

Again, my deepest sympathy for the loss of your beloved baby.

Thank you, this was posted a month ago now, I had her already. They gave me the tablet on Wednesday afternoon and sent me home to come back Friday morning to be induced, I woke up Friday morning with contractions and went to the hospital, I did request an epidural or any pain relief at all but she came so fast I didn’t have time, I was in labour for 4 hours altogether so it was fast thankfully

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 17/10/2025 23:07

Oh I'm so sorry that I didn't notice that.

HelpMeUnpickThis · 18/10/2025 10:27

@andanotherproblem I hope you are supported xxx 💐💐

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