Undecided about home birth

[Millypip91]

Hello,
I am almost 28 weeks with my second baby and I feel really undecided about birth options. I was very lucky to have a really positive first birth in the pool at a MLU first time around 5 years ago. Part of me is thinking don't mess with the program if it worked well before but the other part of me is really drawn to a home birth. I have a bit of white coat syndrome and didn't enjoy staying in hospital after the birth (nothing bad particularly just couldn't wait to get out and felt anxious staying in alone). This time around we have the space to do it at home and we live a 5 mins drive to the hospital so it seems viable to consider home birth. I've had really mixed opinions on this though from family and friends. It feels that most people are quite sure on their views on it either way but I'm so undecided.

This baby took quite a long time to conceive and we had some fertility treatment so I am quite anxious about everything going well and worry that I'd never forgive myself if something went wrong at home but I also have a kind of gut feeling that home birth would work really well for me and that if all went well I'd probably find it much easier. I've been told I have a low lying placenta at the moment so I would only consider if this resolves anyway but I'm told there's a good chance it will so I'm still hopeful. Any balanced thoughts/experiences appreciated! Tia x

If you're someone who's reassured by data, there is a large review (~500,000 intended home births) published recently in the Lancet which found home birth compared with hospital is just as safe for the baby and safer for the mother in low risk pregnancies.

www.thelancet.com/journals/eclinm/article/PIIS2589-5370(19)30119-1/fulltext

Get your local home birth midwife out to have a chat with you. I was considering a home birth for my 3rd but I had various risk factors so I was also preparing to go to hospital. Home birth team are amazing and they go over everything with you.
In the end as I went into spontaneous premature labour I went to hospital to give birth but I was so glad id looked into home birth anyway. I felt empowered to make the right choice for me and I never felt pressured.

I’ve had two babies and two wonderful homebirths. I find people do generally react negatively to the idea of homebirth and you may well get lots of horror stories about ‘if I hadn’t been in hospital XYZ would have happened’, but as PP says, homebirth is generally very safe. In your situation not far from hospital the risks of transfer times will be lesser than someone further away. Homebirth midwives have a much lower tolerance for things going ‘wrong’ and would advise you to transfer more quickly than a midwife in the MLU might intervene, because they’ll be factoring in transfer time , any ambulance wait etc.

I’d strongly advise speaking to the homebirth team in your area to discuss your options so you can ask them all your questions. I found it really reassuring the amount of kit they carry to deal with emergency situations, and found them an invaluable source of honest support.

It’s not for everyone, some people will feel safer in hospital, but if you’re interested it’s worth exploring so you can make an informed choice about whether it’s for you.

I had a very bad hospital birth followed by a brilliant hone birth so I'm a bit biased. But I felt really safe during the homebirth, partly because the midwives (2 district midwives and 1 student) were just focused on me. (Rather than what happened in hospital... they got called away as I wasn't fully dilated and I gave birth alone while DH urgently tried to get help).

One of the best bits was having snuggles with both my DDs only an hour after birth. You do need childcare just in case, DD had actually gone to my neighbours during the birth.

Apparently birth is easier where you feel safest.

I’ve had 2 home births and 2 hospital births.
How far are you from the nearest hospital?
My first birth required intervention and I was glad I was in hospital.
My second was a hospital birth due to bilateral talipes but it was horrendous and so were the staff.
My 3rd was a waterbirth at home and I had a midwife for me and baby had a midwife. We were less than 10 minutes from the hospital and was the most amazing experience.
My 4th was an unplanned homebirth and I was half an hour from hospital but it was still a positive experience and was a ‘dry’ birth.

I say do your research, speak to your midwives, think properly about it. The midwives I had for my dc3 were amazing and positive about home births but also made it clear that if they said we go to hospital then we go. As a previous poster said they have a lower tolerance.

The absolute best thing for me was after giving birth at home being able to use my own bathroom and get into my own bed.

The worse thing? My arsehole ex thinking that because I gave birth at home then I would be up and about the next morning as normal 🤦🏽‍♀️ whereas with my first 2 I had had to spend a few days in hospital.

Research, get advice and do what is best for you and your baby.

I had 3 HomeBirths. No regrets.

Thanks all for the responses. We're only 5 mins drive from the hospital but I have to say I am scared by the stories of emergency situations where you might regret not having a crash team and hospital staff/equipment around. I'm feeling really torn still but definitely going to speak to my midwife and find out some more info. I kind of feel like maybe the MLU would offer the best of both worlds and that worked out well for me before. I don't enjoy staying in a hospital but I guess you have to be prepared for that in any scenario anyway.

To reassure you somewhat we had a medical emergency during labour and a situation that would have been medically managed in the hospital resulting in stitches and an episiotomy as minimum was managed by the amazing and very skilled homebirth MWs and not even a graze. Terrifying at the time but had the best outcome.

Had several home births from the first to the last which was twins. Wouldn't change a thing perfect everytime and nothing better than a nice bath and your own bed afterwards and snuggles with your newborn while your hubby supplies food and drinks. Had amazing teams at all of them and very quick labors, even the first child was only 2 hours labour. It is well documented a relaxed happy mum gives birth so much better.

Homebirths can be wonderful experiences if you fit the criteria for them
Personally I'd choose to have one and meet the homebirth midwives because you can always change your mind right up to giving birth!
I had home births booked in for my last two but unfortunately due to complications with both I ended up in hospital... made it right to my due date both times but unfortunately was told when checked that I would have to be induced.
I don't regret trying to home birth I really think it would have been the right thing for me had there been no issues.
My friend had all 3 of hers at home with NHS midwives and had what sounds like such a beautiful experience

I’ve had two hospital births and one home birth and I preferred to be in the hospital (mine was unplanned home birth though I’m sure if you are all prepared it could be different, I think it was a bit of a shock for me not going to hospital after thinking I would be almost surreal x

I had a brilliant Homebirth 3 months ago with my second (after a needlessly traumatic hospital birth with my first).

What I’ve noticed is that all the people who are aggressively negative about (planned) Homebirth are the ones who haven’t had one! I have never heard of anyone regretting a homebirth, even in cases where they have had to transfer to hospital.

I was shocked also to realise that when I said I was having a Homebirth, most people (including lots of mothers) thought there wouldn’t be a midwife?! This is presumably partly why people are so against it. Of course there were 2 lovely NHS midwives in attendance.

I had two planned home births, but had to transfer to the hospital in an ambulance during the first one because DD's heart rate was elevated. It was the right thing to do and she was born safely, in theatre, via forceps.

I would like to echo the sentiment of most of the previous posters. Those women I know who have had a home birth never regret it.

My experience showed me first hand that hospitals can be like a sausage factory, and unfortunately where your needs come last.

Home birth is the opposite; you are gently empowered, at the centre of it and can set the tone. I was more relaxed and the pain was much less because of this. It was an incredible experience.

But to get to that point, I did a LOT of research - and that is what gave me the confidence to pursue having home births. For you - during labour, home is a much more conducive environment. You trust your body and the stress/pain is far less. Your outcomes will likely be better.

If you are deemed suitable for home birth, you are so close to your local hospital - maybe plan to have a home birth, knowing full well you can transfer to hospital if you need to.

I don't know what area you're in, but in my local area it's normal for the women planning a home birth to also have a birth place assessment at the MLU - partly because of the home birth service isn't available due to staffing then they don't have to go to the hospital, and partly because if they get cold feet on the day they can opt for the MLU