When did you discuss your birth choices?

[JungleRun21]

I am 29 weeks pregnant, part consultant, part midwife led.
The pregnancy hasnt been straight forward so far with some things regarding the baby which we wont know about until after birth.
Im quite anxious about the birth because of the complicarions we have already had and because my first birth was an emergency induction with a great deal of drama and a very prolonged recovery.

So far, nobody has mentioned birth options to me.
When roughly does this happen?
Are you able to request an elective c-section and if so, do you have to give notice etc? Is it the community midwife or consultant who would decide this?
I have gestational diabetes and am a pre-eclampsia risk too if that makes much of a difference?

Part of me is leaning towards a section but Im also terrified of a spinal!
Any advice?

I think it was around the 32 week mark that birth preferences were first mentioned. I think I had written mine by around 36wks.

Meant to add, I personally wanted as low intervention a birth as possible so can't offer advice on the elective c-section, but this is something you can discuss with either your midwife or consultant.

But in general my advice would be to remember it's your birth preferences, not your birth plan. So put in writing what you want to happen in different scenarios. And make sure your birth partner has a copy and you've gone through it in detail with them. For example, I wanted a natural birth and didn't want an epidural so that was my 'preference'. I wrote where I ideally wanted to give birth, and what painkillers I wanted to be offered. I wrote about how I was going to use hypnobirthing so wanted questions to be directed to my partner rather than me where possible. But I also detailed what my preferences were if things didn't go how I hoped e.g. if a cesarean was necessary, or if I wasn't able to hold baby straight after birth etc.

And I'm really sorry your first birth wasn't great. Really hope this will be a much more positive experience.

If you want a section you can have a section. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

https://www.nhs.uk/tests-and-treatments/caesarean-section/

“If after discussing all the risks and hearing about all the support on offer you still feel that a vaginal birth is not an acceptable option, you should be offered a planned caesarean. If your doctor is unwilling to perform the operation, they should refer you to a doctor who will.”

if you just want to discuss options you can do that now you don’t have to wait for them to bring it up. At my second pregnancy I brought it up at my booking in appointment.

Hiya

I had an elective section last Tuesday and honestly it was such a positive experience. I was consultant led and advised to have an induction however I chose to go for a c section instead.

Just wanted to bring some positivity if you do opt for a section. What worries you about the spinal? Is it just the general idea of it or needles etc? The anaesthetists are so kind and will talk you through everything, it isn't painful, it might feel a bit odd when it starts working but tbh there's so much going on (in a calm manner) that you're kinda distracted anyway.

Whatever you choose to do, wishing you all the best for you and baby x

Thank you everyone for your replies so far.
With my first pregnancy I really wanted a water birth and no epidural but was open to any other pain relief. Unfortunately I had an emergency induction so wasnt allowed the water birth and the midwives didnt give me any additional analgesia because my labor progrsssed really quick and there basically wasnt time.
It was all a bit of a shambles if im honest.
I dont even remember anyone asking about my wishes which made it all feel a bit rushed.

I would like a little control this time but nobody has mentioned birth options yet so wasnt sure if I was just jumping the gun a bit.

@PockerMaus the thought of a section bothers me for so many reasons if im honest. The spinal scares the life out of me because im not a fan of needles and the fear of it going wrong. You hear horror stories about people having damage afterwards etc.
Plus its major abdominal surgery that youre awake for! The recovery part im not worried about, its the actual procedure!

I had pre eclampsia with DC2. I have a needle and surgical intervention phobia. I did have a epidural with DC1 so I knew what that was (although I cried my eyes out when they were doing it and had to be held still). I was hospitalised prior to DC2s birth because of the pre eclampsia and they did offer me a c-section but I chose induction with an early doors epidural. I’ve never had a c-section so can’t really comment on it from personal experience, but the mums in the post natal ward who’d had one made me glad I hadn’t. The recovery looked very difficult. Good luck whatever you decide OP! 💕

I had an elective C-section for my only DC. I was in my 40’s.

It was the easiest process imaginable. I was in and out of hospital within 24 hours and was up and about walking around the shops with my new baby on day 3 or 4.

Other than avoiding picking up anything too heavy for a couple of weeks that was about it.

We didn’t have any family support so we pretty much had to get on with it anyway. I’m sure some births are nowhere near as straightforward however I do think some people set things up to be more dramatic than they need to be. Planning weeks of bed rest and getting everyone running round cooking meals and doing other domestic stuff around the house as if they are totally incapacitated.

Other than help from DH I don’t think anyone so much as made me a cup of tea but that really wasn’t an issue.

Not sure if I was just lucky but it really couldn’t have been anymore straightforward.

Thank you, this is reassuring.
The people I know who have had sections have all had a positive story to tell. Obviously not every story is straight forward but with this pregnancy throwing up lots of dramas aleady I just want a nice safe option for everyone!

I completely understand the fear of the procedure, but honestly, in my case it was great. I had two elective sections, and the only thing I regret is being so nervous before the first one. I had all sorts of worries swirling through my head - fear of the spinal (even though I’d had an epidural before and knew it was fine), fear of feeling pain during the surgery, the thought of major surgery and so on. But it was all very smooth and I was relaxed before the second one.

If you want a planned c section, i think you should try and get the ball rolling ASAP. My last baby was breech and I had preeclampsia at 36w. By then, the first elective slot available was at 39+5, which was already quite late. I ended up going into labour before the c section date (DD2 had turned so I had a vaginal delivery in the end, but obviously if she hadn't, the section would have just been done on an unplanned basis).

You could also call and ask for a "birth options" meeting - mine was with a consultant midwife and she was great. She spent an hour talking through my previous birth, current pregnancy, risks and benefits, my worries and concerns, what they could do to stop the same thing happening again etc. It was really helpful.

Can I ask who you contacted for this meeting?
I am both consultant and midwife led.
I saw midwife last week (a different one as mine is now on long term sick) and nothing birth related was mentioned at all.
I dont have an appointment with my consultant until I am 36weeks which is just too late isnt it?

I had mentioned that I was contemplating a c section due to pelvic floor issues following DD1's birth and my usual midwife referred me for the discussion following a standard check up. Do you have a non emergency way to get in touch with your midwife or midwife team? If so, id just give them a ring / message and ask if they offer them and if so could you book one.

I had a growth scan and first appointment with my consultant at 32 weeks. As soon as she mentioned that they’ll want to induce me I said that I wanted an elective c-section, as can’t go through that again. I had a horrific experience being induced.

I went in expecting to have to push for it, so had a long list of reasons ready to give for wanting a c-section, but she was lovely and immediately said no problem. I have my next growth scan and appointment on Monday when I’ll be 36 weeks and she said they’ll book me in then.

I have an email address which they say to use because they wont answer questions over the phone.
I can drop a message out tomorrow tobsee what they say.
Thank you for that suggestion 😊

Im going to ask if i can bring my consultant appointment forward because I now have gestational diabetes which isnt being managed well by the hospital which could mean an early delivery anyway. Hopefully they can sort thay ehich will be usefull.