Do doulas look after siblings while parents at birth? Or is there another option for this kind of care?

[hattyyellow]

Sorry, odd question maybe! My mum lives a long way away and DH's parents very frail and elderly and not able to cope with our toddlers by themselves.

I'm due over Christmas and had a ridiculous 3am panic about who on earth would look after our toddlers.

We have lived in this area for nearly a year, so have made some good friends but not really anyone who I could ask to be on call over Christmas to take my kids. Other close family all overseas.

Having had an elective section last time, without even starting contractions, I have no idea how long you would be away from the house from.

I'm aware that you wait to go to hospital until a certain timing between contractions but is it a piece of string question how long it would be before you got home again? 24 hours? I know DH could go back and be with the kids after the birth.

I'd really like my DH with me but can't think of a way to cover childcare for the kids..not keen on homebirth due to various factors.

Is there a logical solution to this? Would a doula do this over Christmas?

Why am I worrying about this when I'm only 10 weeks pregnant!

Hatty,

Dont Panic!!

I have looked after a clients children whilst her and her DH went to the hospital.

You might find someone to cover - but I expect you will have to pay as if you were actually going to have the doula at your birth.

Doulas work at xmas - I went to see a lady friday who is due over xmas. I would take a look at www.doula.org.uk - 'find a doula' and look for some in your area and speak to a few.

If your birth goes well then you could be home within 6hrs.

Cxx

I think if it's childcare you want, rather than help with delivering the baby, you would be better off with an emergency nanny
an agency would be able to help you find someone and arrange fees etc
they would almost certainly be expensive but less than a doula

Ditto Herts!

There are doulas who will provide this type of cover.

Taking calming breaths - thank you all so much! Have found a few local doulas to contact following all your great help with post-natal doulas (DH coming around to the idea ).

Will talk to them about childcare cover as well - do doulas charge extra for Christmas arrivals?!

Franny a nanny is a great idea as well - will look into it - think i might be ouching at the prices there as well!

well can I ask - as I am a bit confused and there are 2 of you professionals on the thread - why would anyone hire a doula purely for childcare? Seems to me a bit like going to the greengrocer and asking for fish

I know doulas CAN help with children while the birth is going on - obviously one of their many advantages - but don't get why someone would hire a doula to look after children when they were going to hospital

actually... now you've reminded me about the postnatal doula, I met a couple recently who are having a pn doula who will also cover should she go into labour as it's not easy to get family there. Probably a very good idea as I'm sure when you meet/book your pn doula she will come by and meet your children so it adds to consistency.

I understand what you're saying Franny and it does seem a little like asking for fish, but what a doula does is provide needed support for the mother and father. Also, see my previous post re:consistency.

It occured to me as a possible plan as we are thinking of having a post-natal doula, partly to help with existing toddlers..

...if they'd met the kids before the big day and were going to be around afterwards, could offer some kind of continuity of care..

Cross-posted with Mars - very honoured to have said same sort of thing!

That's really useful to know re other couple having doula for childcare and post-natal care too.

please don't think I am anti doula or anything btw
am using one myself soon
I think perhaps a better analogy of what I am thinking is that it's like using a hammer to crack a nut
no that is still wrong
I think the doula is over qualified to be doing just childcare, I think that's it
and quite expensive considering you could use an emergency childminder or nanny!

but obviously I don;t really know much about it, so am just interested

I do completely see your point and my tired pregnant brain is trying to think of an analogy too and failing!

I wonder though if you'd get to meet the nanny beforehand - my little ones will be 3 and a bit so still quite tiny and I'd worry about them being left with a stranger they'd never met - I wonder if nanny agencies would just send along whoever is on emergency duty over Christmas who I'd never met before...

Our girls go to nursery but the staff there all have families of their own so I don't think they'd be hugely keen on taking the girls...

My mum is a long way away and our relationship is quite difficult so I suppose I have a rose-tinted view of a doula being a grandmother figure to help look after existing children and the new one...

Next time remind me not to be due just before Christmas!

never thought that for a moment franny! I just am a great believer in continuity for children. Perhaps we are over qualified to just provide childcare but I don't think that that is what any of us do. It's about mothering the mother (and father). What would your ideal mother do in this situation? Watch the children.