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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Home birth - did you know your midwife?

41 replies

chickenmommy · 26/05/2008 11:49

Hi - I am planning a home birth and live in the Newbury area. I have been told by my midwife that none of the midwives from my doctors surgery are on call so I will not have met the midwife who attends my home birth. Is this normal? Has anyone else had a home birth where they had not met the midwife previously? How did you get on with them? Did it feel impersonal? I'd be very interested to hear about other's experiences

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chamaeleon · 26/05/2008 11:57

here it is the luck of the draw who is on call, you may or may not have met them during your pg. it is no different to hospital tho and it didnt bother me at all, i actually preferred the mw who turned up

bohemianbint · 26/05/2008 11:58

I'd met one once before. I didn't know the other one or the student. Didn't much care though, they were all nice enough!

To be honest, I think I only saw the same midwife abotu twice the whole way through. Same again this time.

littlefrog · 26/05/2008 12:00

Same as chamaeleon! Hadn't met any of the (3) who came, though had shifts been different I might have done. Thought they were fab, really nice and respectful of what we wanted, not interfering but helpful and supportive. Tbh I was so much in my own world that it was quite nice having someone I didn't know, as I didn't have to try to be 'myself' (if that makes any sense!)

lisasimpson · 26/05/2008 12:00

My regular midwife was off sick so I had two different ones, one of which I had met once before. They were both better than my regular and was thanking my lucky stars!

Tommy · 26/05/2008 12:02

I was very lucky as my MW is a very good friend (DS2s godmother). She did all my ante natal care and was there at the homebirth (even though she was on holiday at the time ) The other one who came along was a coleague of hers who I hadn't met but had spoken to. She was only there for an hour anyway.

foxythesnowfox · 26/05/2008 12:03

Of the 3 HBs I've had, the first time I had a MW who I hadn't met before, although she was from my team. The second time my MW was from a different team so hadn't seen her during the PG. The third time I had the same MW who delivered me the second time. She was also the MW who came out to do the newborn check the first time. So in a roundabout way, yes, but only by chance!

hellsbells76 · 26/05/2008 12:05

i hadn't met the midwife before but was very lucky as she was LOVELY, we got on like a house on fire. we still keep in touch now and meet up for drinks once a month or so!

LynetteScavo · 26/05/2008 12:06

I had only met the midwife who delivered DD briefly, when she was asked to give a 2nd opinion at a check up. She was absolutely lovely, a realy star. In fact, I'm glad I had her rather that the midwife I seen for all my check ups.

foxythesnowfox · 26/05/2008 12:08

I think most MWs are lovely and IME they really enjoy a HB.

kazbeth · 26/05/2008 12:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

chickenmommy · 26/05/2008 12:10

thanks for all your messages - I'm relieved to see that this is not an unusual situation. It seems the only way you can guarantee knowing your midwife is to pay for an independent one (way out of my means!).

I suppose I'm scared that the midwife who turns up will be bossy (not what I need at all) and be at odds with my idea of remaining in control and relaxed in my own home

OP posts:

duchesse · 26/05/2008 12:11

Yep- wonderful team midwifery. The same one both times, who was also my named midwife, and was off-duty both times. Lovely lady.

addictedtoharibo · 26/05/2008 12:15

Im not sure knowing them is necessarily a good thing - depends on how nice they are lol.

To be honest a monkey could have turned up last time I was in labour - as long as it showed some sympathy!

shrinkingsagpuss · 26/05/2008 12:24

Luck of the draw here too, when I had DS, i happened to get "my" midwife, from my surgery, which was fab

When I had DD, I had never met the midwfie, and although it meant I had to spend a little mroe time getting to know her, and explaining about my pg history, and birth history problems from DS, she was fab - because that's what they are trained to do. She was joined by a midwife I knew (but hadn't expected to be present).

If you go into hospital for a baby, the chances are you won't know the midwives on duty, and woith changes of shift you might find there are several over the time you are in labour.

I'd go for 1 unfamiliar (well 2) at home, who you can chat to, and get to know, without them buggering off somewhere else, over a hospitla birth anyday.

shrinkingsagpuss · 26/05/2008 12:25

Chickenmommy - hopefully when the m/w comes out, you will have enoguh energy to explain to her what you are like, and what you need from her.

ChasingSquirrels · 26/05/2008 13:10

I saw the same midwife throughout (only 1 at our doctors) and she was on call when I was due so I had a possibility of her coming out, but ds2 was born 3 weeks early. As it happens he was also a very quick birth and I delivered him myself, but I had never met the midwife who eventually turned up.

foxythesnowfox · 26/05/2008 13:15

Whatever happens, when you are holding your brand new baby in your arms, you're going to love your MW regardless

Sob!

kazbeth · 26/05/2008 13:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

chickenmommy · 26/05/2008 13:28

shrinkingsagpuss - I think you are right, having the same mw throughout the labour is far more likely at home. Does anyone know - if you have to transfer to hospital, will the mw come with you?

OP posts:

foxythesnowfox · 26/05/2008 13:35

Yes, they do.

Original poster

chickenmommy · 26/05/2008 13:54

excellent!

OP posts:

foxythesnowfox · 26/05/2008 14:16

Just to add I don't think it feels impersonal as you are in your own home. IME they have pretty much taken a back seat, just let me get on with it, but watching, doing paperwork and monitoring. I think its really good for your partner (I mean either DP or birth partner) too because they are more comfortable and can be more useful (brewing up, getting things ready, etc).

Oh I wish you all the very best with it. I just love a HB. Makes me want to do it all over again I hope you have a lovely one

Original poster

chickenmommy · 26/05/2008 14:25

foxythesnowfox - it's lovely to hear someone so enthusiastic about birth it is my first and it would be easy to listen only to horror stories and end up feeling terrified. Staying at home is partly my way to avoid this - I'm thinking I can do things as I wish and am more likely to be distracted

OP posts:

foxythesnowfox · 26/05/2008 14:32

Oh I could prattle on for hours about it If you search for any homebirth thread on here you will find the posts are 99% positive.

I had my first DC in hospital, and have a slight regret about it, simply because my 3 HBs were so comfortable and lovely.

PeachyWontLieToYou · 26/05/2008 14:34

I didnt know either tof them, think one was called Sue (?) still dont the others- left that sort of stuff to DH while I focussed on having baby. By the time they got ehre though I was well into transition so couldnt have cared who came, as ong as they could catch a baby and had an entonox mask

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