Bad birth and Next time

[LuckySalem]

Hi,

I've got a 4 and 1/2 month old DD now and me and DP always said from the beginning we wanted another (one at least) and quite close together. However,

DD was an emergency C - section and i'm now really scared/aprehensive about having another one.

With DD she was to be a planned home waterbirth everything was fine apart from the hospital harrasing me saying I could only go 10 days overdue and after that they would HAVE to induce me. Which I understood, however they started saying they wanted to induce me after 5 days as she was gonna be a "big baby" I refused and had a couple of sweeps.
All was going ok with the birth and I progressed fine however, after 1hr + of pushing they realised that DD's head was presenting wrong (I can't remember which way around it was but it was the opposite of the way it should have been - brow I think ) and her heartbeat was dropping with every contraction. So I got blue-lighted to hospital in serious pain as everytime I lay down the contractions were beyond what I had been used to sitting and standing. Plus I felt like I had failed so kinda gave up IYKWIM. Got to the hospital and I wasn't allowed gas and air, only oxygen as it would help DD recover. I had about 5 people in the room with me (and DP pushed out of it all) shoving needles, cathetars, shaving me, A male doctor trying to do an internal examination (which I know shouldn't have upset me but I had specifically said I was wary of having a male doctor as they may not know how far they can push things etc)
Anyway.... after all that and she was born, she wasn't given to me straight away which I had spefically written into my birthplan (if she came out without the need of resus, which they said she did) She was given to DP and he was told I couldn't hold her as I had to stay still while they stiched me up.
I was then told I had to stay bedridden for 24 hours which I kinda understood but I was left with the antiseptice all over my belly, nothing but a flimsy pad to stop the bleeding (so sheets were soaked) sweating buckets, leaking nipples and DD put far from me so everytime she cried I had to call a MW - wasn't so bad in the day but at night there was only 1 mw in the ward and loads of women needing help.

It took me 3 months to feel connected to my DD and breastfeeding was terrible as she didn't feel like mine, it felt wrong to BF her.

I know this probably doesn't sound like too bad an experience but I've been told by the MW's that i'd probably have to have a C-section next time as well cos of the overdueness and positioning etc and i'm terrified.

Oh and by the way DD was 10 days overdue and only weighed 6lb 2 oz's where was the huge baby I think if she'd have been left to come in her own time things may have turned out better.

I know this sounds really stupid and a ramble and if i'm honest I don't know what i'm asking of you but I just had to write it down somehow.

hiya,
sounds like you had a pretty bad time of it first time round, but that doesn't mean it'll be the same again.
I had a not particularly great first birth, although not as bad as yours, but my second was amazing. it was just fab. so, so different from the first. (oh, and incidentally he was born back to back, brow presentation too!) so even if you have the same troubles, needn't mean the same outcome (he was born at home)

I think they advise not to get pregnant too quickly if you've had a c-section in case of scar rupturing and stuff, but there is absolutely no reason why you should not try for a vaginal birth again next time, and indeed why you couldn't have it at home.
I'd be interested if there happen to be any midwives or people in the know on here who could say whether the brow presentation is likely to happen again- I can't imagine why it would be more likely just because it happened once, especially if you do plenty of OFP

Thanks thisisyesterday, We were thinking of starting to TTC in 6 months which will be 10 months after DD's birth, Do you think this is enough time for things to heal? It took 2 years to concieve DD.

I'm probably not the best one to ask about that, just know from stuff I have read on here. Hopefully someone more knowledgable will be along though soon.

it's hard to know when to start ttc isn't it? especially if you had a long wait with the first.

Yeh just in case it happens straight away but at the same time if it takes 2 years again I want to start now cos I don't really want 2 years between the kids! lol

Thanks thisisyesterday. It's nice just to have someone say hiya and even better to know i'm not the only one - and that sounds stupid when I read on here the amount of times bad births happen, yet I still feel alone, haha.

Four and a half months is so recent! I had a bad time with DD, had dreadful flashbacks and so on, and at four and a half months I was barely functioning. When DD was a year old though, things were better (with the help of counselling - my GP referred me - or rather the fifth GP I saw referred me ). We decided that we would think seriously about TTC, I started taking folic acid, and now I'm pregnant again. I'm very nervous about the birth, but I'm due to see the same counsellor again next week, and I hope that I can get over the birth worries. If not, the community midwife knows that I had a dreadful time and has offered an elective C section if I want (I haven't decided yet).

To be honest, you have a small baby and you've recently been through a dreadful experience. I really think that you should be kind to yourself and give yourself some time to heal first, before you even think about TTC, rather than setting yourself a deadline. For what it's worth, it took a long time to conceive DD, but DB2 came along in the first month. So it's not a certainty that TTC will take a long time next time.

I know it's recent but like I said we had planned all this so far ahead and I kinda feel as though it ruined my relationship with DD in the first few months and I don't want it to ruin the plans I had for the rest of my life. If that makes any sense in anyone else mind.

I had a emergency C section with DD1, after 6 weeks in hospital It was terrible time, very scarcy, hard work ect.
It took 5 years to have another, and very in major panic about birth, dreading another emerency C section ect. I ended up with a really quick (48 mins) labour (but DD2 wasnt breathing) but still a wonderful birthing experience when I got to hold my DD2 fairly quickly.
Hope you get the birth you want

I had a emergency C section with DD1, after 6 weeks in hospital It was terrible time, very scarcy, hard work ect.
It took 5 years to have another, and very in major panic about birth, dreading another emerency C section ect. I ended up with a really quick (48 mins) labour (but DD2 wasnt breathing) but still a wonderful birthing experience when I got to hold my DD2 fairly quickly.
Hope you get the birth you want

Hi Lucky, as you may remember I had a CS and it freaked me out for a while too. I was told I'll have to have an elective CS for no.2 (due to cephalo pelvic disproportion)and at first that thought did terrify me.

But ... I know a couple of people who've had an EMCS and then an elective for their second and it really does sound like a much different kettle of fish. It will be a lot calmer and your wishes / birth plan can be followed. You wll feel more in control of the situation. I find that thought really reassuring. Ladies on here will probably back us up. Not sure how long we're emant to wait and as usual I reckon different doctors / health visitors etc. will say different things.

but this is interesting:

www.babycentre.co.uk/preconception/tryingforanother/pregnanthowsoonaftercaesa reanexpert/

HTH xxx

Thanks Ange.

Hi LuckySalem, I have an 18 month old DS who was born by emCS for the same sort of reasons (OP, brow presentation, progressed steadily if slowly to 9cm and then got stuck!) I was also planning a homebirth but went in to be induced at term + 15 days.

I think DS wasn't coming out because he wasn't in the right position yet - if I'd been patient a few days longer he might have managed to turn round. But I don't know. I also think having my waters broken quite early on wouldn't have helped as I'm guessing babies can manoevre (can't spell it!) better with more fluid, but hopefully someone who's more of an expert will come along and confirm/deny my theories!

Being overdue or baby's position definitely doesn't mean you'll need another section though. In fact I'd say you had a very good chance of a vaginal delivery next time.

I wasn't given any advice on how long I should wait before conceiving again, although I have friends who've been told 6 months. In the end I waited 11 and I'm 33 weeks pg with number 2. I'd say you should be fine physically to TTC in six months, no probs there - but be kind to yourself emotionally too.

Luckysalem,

I could have written your post!It was exactly the same for me the first time round.

Second time Ds was breech so I had an elective. It was SO much better. I was in control. I insisted after I had been stitched that the surgeons put a pad and some granny pants on me!! I insisted that as soon as they had checked him over he was given to me. I breastfed him when I was ready and not when I was told to. I insisted that the baby was staying in the bed with me!! I rang that bell EVERYTIME I needed anything...and I rang it until someone came! (I must have been a real pain) I bugged them for more pain relief when I needed it etc Yes it wasn't great, but its major surgery and you have a new baby so its not going to be great. But it was SO much better the second time round. Just set in your mind what was bad about the first time round and then be adamant that it isn't going to happen again. You will feel stroger and more in control the second time around.

lucky, i would consider a homebirth again, with a doula.

there is no reason that your second baby would be in such a difficutl position

a brow presentation is virtually impossible to deliver vaginally, it was nothign to do with anything you did or did not do

i woudl go through your notes with someone from teh hospital and talk about how bad you felt and the lack of care, the supervisor of midwives should be able to help

Cheers all,

Lulu - how do I go about doing that?

contact PALS at the hospital where you delivered, and ask who to contact. they might have a specific midiwfe for this sort of thing

Thanks lulu - Maybe i'll be able to get some closure on it.