Skin-to-skin and breastfeeding

[TinkRose]

Our first baby is due soon and I’ve been reading up on how to breastfeed. Something that keeps coming up is ensuring skin-to-skin in the golden hour to help baby find the breast and latch on.
In your experience, how long did it take for baby to latch on? And how long was it before dad/non-birthing parent held the baby? I feel like the thought of dad not holding our baby for ages upsets me but equally I don’t want breastfeeding to be negatively impacted.

I had pretty much immediate skin to skin both times. DS1 I don't think latched properly in the early stages, and it was hit and miss for the first few days while figured out what to do. He then went on to BF for 2 years! DS2 latched before the placenta was even delivered and stayed there for ages. I know DH did have cuddles with them both, probably while I was being stitched up, but tbh I don't remember it exactly.

I did not have skin to skin immediately (probably was a few hours) because they whisked DS away to check him (emcs) and then cut the cord and wrapped him up in towels before he came to me! I laboured alone the whole way on a prenatal ward - they didn’t know I was progressing so quick - so no one had my birth plan or anything!

Anyway the point of this story is to say not to panic if you don’t get that special golden hour, immediate skin to skin etc. It makes me a bit sad that I didn’t BUT I went on to breastfeed for 2 years and had a beautiful journey of it ❤️ DS didn’t take long at all to feed properly and my milk came in really quickly. He ended up a chunky little thing!

I would try not to get too bogged down in these kinds of things. The best thing you can be prepared for is to be adaptable. Take things as they come and if something doesn’t work out, try another way.
Bf got off to an excellent start for me, then at 2 days old dd got diagnosed with hip dysplasia and put in a full body harness, so no more skin to skin and and I had to find new positions because the ones I was using didn’t work anymore. All sorts of unexpected things come up, it’s better not to plan or worry about the details too much in advance.

Mine latched straight away. Then when I went to have a shower later and clean up, skin to skin with Dad. Have your plan, but realise that it might not go the way you want so have a back up plan and options

DC1 took about 24 hours and a lot of help to latch the first time with donor milk in a cup in the meantime. I was drifting in and out of consciousness for a good while with my blood pressure spiking and dropping. Never had any skin-to-skin in those early hours that I recall.

DC2 took about 15 minutes. She was straight on.

Both were happily and easily ebf for 6 months and then on till 14 months. The skin-to-skin or lack thereof didn't make any difference.

Don't worry too much.

I didn't have early skin to skin contact after delivery with dd2.
Dad and older sister took care of her for hours as I was in surgery and recovery. She was in good hands. Nurses helped dd1 (and dad) give her a bottle.
I had to work harder for breastfeeding than the first two babies but it's not uncommon after a c-section but did 100%.

Mine both latched on straight away. With DC1 I had to go to surgery and hour or so after the birth, so DH had cuddles for about 2 hours then. He did skin to skin too, although he obviously couldn't feed!

With straightforward births I instinctively held the baby in my arms and fed them almost immediately. One birth didn’t go quite so smoothly and DC was rushed away. It was probably a few hours before we were reunited but still latch established fairly smoothly. Baby remained in incubator for a few days feeding on a schedule (with other DC I fed on demand, particularly in the early days, to help milk supply establish). In the longer run it really made very little difference. Baby fed well and for the same duration as my other babies.

With DD I had immediate skin to skin. I doubt it was for a full hour, but at no point did I attempt breastfeeding. DH then held her while I went to the loo, then had a nap. I probably tried breast feeding for the first time about 3-4 hours post birth. She was more interested in sleeping (next day revealed she was mildly jaundiced), so I hand expressed (with help) and fed her that way.

DS was an emergency C-section. Now I work in obstetric theatres, so I know that skin to skin is routinely offered. However, for whatever reason, I was not. DH got that pleasure, and owing to the layout of the theatre was also sat on my blind side, so I couldn't see DS either. I didn't get to hold DS until I was transferred off the table at the last gasp of the golden hour. God only knows when I first tried to breastfeed, but as DS was more interested in sleeping (again, mildly jaundiced), I hand expressed and fed that way.

So not the best start for either kid.

My milk came in day 3 both times. Once the jaundice was cleared via a regimen of 3 hourly feeds and some sunbathing next to a window, breastfeeding established with no further issue. I then fed DD for 23 months (milk dried up due to pregnancy), and DS for 18 months (unrepentant biter).

IMO the golden hour is more of a nice to have rather than a must, and is far from vital to establishing breastfeeding. So don't worry if you don't get all/any of it. There will be plenty of opportunities for dad to hold the baby.

Baby was put straight on my chest by the midwife as soon as they were born. My husband says the most amazing thing was seeing this tiny scrawny thing rooting around my chest to find a nipple whilst being seconds old. They knew just what to do.

I don't think I got the full hour (time is weird in labour ward!) but my husband held her after she had been weighed and cleaned up a bit I think. I was certainly holding her whilst birthing the placenta and being stitched up. I offered my husband a hold when I was ready

After a quick cuddle (CS) H took DD while I was stitched. When we got taken to my room, she latched on immediately. I didn't want skin to skin.

I did skin on skin and both mine latched quickly. I know an hour sounds like a long time, but both times it felt like minutes. It definitely didn't feel like I was hogging the baby and my dh def didn't feel like that either. It went so quick and we were both just marvelling and taking everything in. Plus, the time immediately after pushing them out isn't the end of the birth process. You have to pass the placenta and also have stitches (if you need them). So all that is going on too.

I don't think you need to worry too much about it. You're in charge of everything that happens, you can hand your baby to your dh at any time. It can be anything you want it to be. I don't feel like that time was particularly significant to my breastfeeding journey, it was more about connecting on the outside with this little person who I'd been carrying on the inside.

I became quite unwell immediately after my emergency cs and physically couldn't hold baby any longer. He was checked over by paeds immediately after birth and returned to me for skin to skin probably within 5 minutes. The skin to skin lasted I'd say less than 10 minutes before I no longer could do it.
I had great visions of DH doing it if I couldn't, but in the moment it just didn't happen. The practicalities sometimes don't match your intented plan.. DH was worried about me, theatre was very cold, DH was on a spinning stool type thing and absolutely didn't feel comfortable trying skin to skin.
Definitely have your preferences, but be open to the fact that your birth sometimes doesn't look like what you envision.

Once I got to recovery I had some help to latch DS and he did feed within the first hour. I kept him skin to skin then.
As a midwife I've seen so many births where immediate skin to skin isn't possible, or that first hour is interrupted, and no massive impact on the longterm success of BF so don't worry too much. Congratulations in advance of your new arrival!

Thank you for all of your replies - I’ve been so relaxed about everything all the way through this pregnancy but the closer I get to baby being here, the more thoughts that pop into my head and it’s great to hear from people who’ve been there, done that!

I wouldn’t overthink it. I ended in an EMCS and they took DD to be checked over right away so I didn’t get to hold her until we got moved from the theatre. Just go with the flow and make the most of your experience at the time.

Try not to get too hung up on this as an idea. Yes it's ideal - it's ok if it doesn't happen. I had emcs with my first and baby was taken from me for about an hour. Then given to me in recovery but I was very woozy. Latched on properly the next morning.
Second baby I had skin to skin right away, but he didn't latch on well for about 12 hours and I had to hand express.

First baby had to go straight to NICU & didn't breastfeed for 7 hours after. Second baby latched within 5 minutes, though I handed off to Dad while I got stitched because I needed the gas & air again for that.

Having a golden hour is lovely, but things don't always go to plan and regardless the birth will be the start of a lifelong bond. ❤️

Well my two just fell asleep and had no intention of trying to latch, in fact, neither could be bothered with trying to suck at all, so I ended up FF. Hey ho.

My first baby was born in hospital and was put straight on my chest the second she came out. Healthy newborns have a built in instinct called “the breast crawl” where they will sort of wiggle in an effort to find the breast. My eldest was forced out and it was quite the rough entry to the world for both of us, so she needed help getting there, but she latched within the first 20 minutes. Her dad got to hold her, put her nappy on and get her dressed after that.
Second baby was born at home, and was Mr Independant from the get go 😂 He was passed up through my legs and was gumming at random parts of my torso pretty much immediately. Go him where he needed to be and he fed like a champ right away.
My third baby had a mad rush into the world (another home birth) - 1 hour labour 🫠 She seemed fine when she was first born, but despite my efforts to get her to latch, she wasn’t interested. Midwives then became concerned about her colour - she looked a little grey, so they wanted her to be checked over. We went to the hospital where they sucked a load of gunk out of her lungs. She had expressed colostrum via feeding tube for the first 12ish hours before I could try to breastfeed her directly. Was plain sailing from there. I went on to breastfeed her until just before her 3rd birthday.

Hi All,

I gave birth 3 weeks ago and feeling terrible i didn't try breastfeed in the first hour. Had baby on my chest immediately and she was trying to latch but i think i was told to wait to test blood sugar. No one really told me to try and feed and i don't understand why i didn't try. I have a feeling this has led to my latching and breastfeeding issues.

you have everything planned in your head, then, 3 days in induction and 16 hours of labour, you forget your birth plan and all the videos you watched.

just some mum guilt at 2am in the morning, trying to feed! :(

Baby latched as soon as I gave birth, there's an amazing video you should google. The mother gives birth and the baby is left on her chest and literally crawls up to feed (it takes place over a few minutes/hours). Nature really is amazing! As PP you can have a birthplan, but not everything goes to plan, so baby can also have skin to skin with Dad if you aren't available for some reason.

On my first I was unwell, lost a lot of blood and actually didn’t care I had just had a baby. I was basically out of it. After 3 hours I came around and with some messing around was able to feed her. I fed my other two almost straight away, no problems latching on at all. I got up and had a shower after about 2 hours of feeding my third and my DH held him.

Watch videos of babies latching on themselves after skin to skin. By my third I was able to help the woman next to me latch on via this method.

It's ok, I'm sure you did the best you could. With my youngest pretty much everything that could go wrong did but when we got the chance to breastfeed he sucked like an industrial vacuum cleaner and ended up breastfeeding for over 2 years.

Breastfeeding can be really hard. I struggled at the beginning with my first, struggled all the way through with my 2nd and 3rd and then my 4th couldn't do it at all. Then my 5th was my little vacuum cleaner baby.

Is there any particular problem you are having? I'm not a professional but I've got 5 dc and breastfed 4 of them so i might be able to help.

It’s nothing you did - some babies just need more help.

My first sounds similar to yours - I only had a few seconds of skin-to-skin before he was whisked away and I had to wait ages for someone to show me how to feed him when I had him back, even though he was clearly hungry. Regardless, he fed like an absolute champ.

My second was a super lovely homebirth and she fed within 20min and I had loads of skin to skin. But her latch is terrible and she needs loads of help from me - she doesn’t seem to have a clue what to do!