Can I manage in hospital alone during c-section (which may be complicated)

[biscuitsndtea]

I am 31 weeks now. I am expecting my second child.
I am expecting to have scheduled c-section due to placenta previa.

My elder one is 8 years old, so in case of EMCS or scheduled c-section she will not be allowed in the hospital. So my husband will have to stay with her if the c-section is out of the school hours. ( EMCS)
My dad was suppose to help with my elder daughter during my hospital stay but due to his recent health issues he will not be able to come over.

Since I have placenta previa, not sure how the c-section will pan out. In case if I have to be alone for my c-section and the c-section becomes complicated with previa, I am quite worried.

I am also worried if I will be able to feed+take care of my baby by myself after the c-section if my husband is not available in the hospital. Wondering how long the hospital stay will be with c-section.

Totally lost as things are not going as we planned.

I was in overnight on my own after two C sections, for two nights each. My husband was at home with our eldest/ eldest two. Honestly, it was no problem. I rang once for the nurse to help me pick the baby up the first night after the first section. After that it was fine.

I was up 6 hours after the first section, and 4 hours after the second. I was in for 48 hours due to hospital protocol because I have a heart defect, but most people I know were discharged after 24 hours. A couple of my friends had c sections for their second children and their husbands were not there overnight - they all got on fine.

Very best of luck, I hope it goes well!

I was in hospital for a week after an EMCS with DH only there during visiting hours. Couldn’t get out of bed for first 24 hours due to catheter and had to ring for nurses to get baby out of the crib to feed or change but I spent quite a lot of time holding him anyway due to trying to feed. Once the catheter was out I was expected to do it all myself! Getting to breakfast was ok because I had to take baby with me and the crib was on wheels so it provided walking support.

Honestly, there are a lot of variables, so I really would consider sounding out friends who may be happy to provide emergency childcare for your older child, or signing up to a childcare agency capable or providing a qualified carer at short notice.

A lot depends on the hospital you are in - care and staffing levels are extremely variable, even amongst hospitals in the same city. Have you been able to visit to see where you will be? Can you speak to the head ward nurse about what help will be available (if any) if you're alone after your c-section?

A lot will also depend on what exactly has happened and how well you are. I won't give you details but, suffice it to say, things don't always go smoothly and it helps to have plans A and B in place.

You'll be fine. I had a C section with my second child and just asked to be placed on my side with my DD next to me so I could feed her.

I was alone after having twins by c section during covid. Honestly, you will be fine but I would try to get some friends lined up to help at short notice with your older dd. I only know one of the mums in our reception class, but would happily have any of the class overnight in this situation.

I had a similar issue, no one to watch my DS while I had section so my friends and family sort of did shifts, my wife was there for the surgery and then left to take care of DS, my sister took her place for a couple of hours, then when my sister had work my mam came to help me, then my mam and wife swapped so DW could help me during the night with baby and my mam watched DS. Worked out well. I wouldn't have liked being on my own, you don't know how it's going to go. I reacted strongly to the epidural and morphine and kept shaking and vomiting everywhere. My arms were dead for hours and I couldnt do much with baby. The nurses were great while they were there but there were 2 emergency sections happening and the staff sort of disappeared for a few hours 😬

Much depends on your hospital. Once on the ward, whilst catheter as in I had to still get my own baby to feed. Staff were too busy to come. Other hospitals thankfully may have time to pass you the baby. So I had the cot right next to me and major surgery and anaesthetic or nit just had to reach and pick him up!!
advantage of sharing a room was I could ask other visitors to pass me the baby!!

I recommend having a drink in a bottle to sip from with you and snacks.

if you're really worried about it why not explore looking for a postnatal doula to support you in hospital after the delivery? (you will of course cope just fine because thousands of other women across the planet cope, but if it's worrying you why not think outside the box and hire some help?)

I am a single parent with a busy life and a full
time job, but if one of DD’s school friends were in your circumstances I would absolutely step in and have their friend over for a sleepover. Having a baby is rarity and a pivotal moment, I’d hate the thought of someone being alone just because they were worried about being a burden. Theoretically they could only ask me once every 9 months anyway .

Drop a clean set of school uniform and let the school know and it’s sorted. Are there really no school parents you could ask?

I had an ELCS in 1999 , no husband stayed and once you could get up you were encouraged to do so and discharged ASAP . When I got home if I recall correctly my husband had about 2 days off , then the weekend and then I was on my own with my mum doing the school run with the older one . Coped just fine .

My husband had to leave quite quickly as one of my other children was sick. It was fine and you’d manage. But I would be more than happy to help a friend out here so please ask around. 8 years old are easy to mind and I’m sure someone would be happy to help at such a special and stressful time:

I had PP with child 2 and 3 and had C-section with both. Although my husband was present for the op in each case, I was alone overnight. With DD1 they very helpfully passed me the baby then disappeared leaving me holding her all night.

DD2 was easier and I don’t recall having any issues.

I would also look after a child in these circumstances, as long as the kids got on Ok, not even necessarily best friends.

I’ve had 2 sections while I already had older children, so DH has been home looking after them. It’s fine.

First c section was not straightforward and so I had a 1:1 midwife for 24 hours as I couldn’t move, so she brought the baby to me etc and that was big help.

Second time was straightforward so I was able to do most things, I co slept in the hospital (no one told me not to, probably because it was my 3rd baby) and feeding wise I was topping up when we went back when she was a few days old (jaundice) so just pressed the buzzer and someone brought me the formula needed.

Meant to say - if DH can’t be there for the actual op that would be sad! But you can do it. I’d be willing to have my child’s friend for a sleepover if their parents were in this situation, for sure!

Yes I think you'll be ok. If you're in UK then nurses are great and will help you, well they did for me anyway

I had a c section and was in hospital with her for 5 days on my own.

I grabbed a very very quick shower every day - the other mums on the ward were happy to listen out (but she didn’t wake as I would go as soon as she slept after a feed).

I had plenty of snacks and books with me.

The crib was right next to the bed and using the up/down settings on the bed was able to find a comfortable way to pick her up without stretching.

Make sure you take the painkillers that are offered, they make a huge difference.

I grabbed a very very quick shower every day - the other mums on the ward were happy to listen out (but she didn’t wake as I would go as soon as she slept after a feed).

I went to get a cuppa one day and the midwives gave me a bollocking for leaving her. Where was she going? Surely their wards are safe and secure, no? I was away for about 2 minutes and the mum in the next bay was listening for her.

Planned section, DH sent home a hour after delivery and then I didn’t see him again for 4 days as it was Covid and you didn’t get a visitor slot if you were supposed to be going home that day. We were kept in unexpectedly 4 times. It was very hard and I’m still pissed off about it. Had a very good student midwife who helped when baby was put on a 2 hourly feeding plan on day 4 but other than that was left to get on with it. The day to day stuff like nappies is fine but if there’s any sort of complication however minor it’s not nice being alone.

My daughter is a student midwife and was telling me the other day about these new cots that are given to Mums who've had surgical deliveries. Think they're like the 3 sided bedside ones so you don't have to lift baby. And she often spends a shift supporting a newly delivered patient without a partner to help.

This!

And ask the midwives to hand baby to you.

If you don't follow the medical advice around c section recovery as far as possible then you risk a rupture, infection or other complication, and then you'll really be needing some help.

In any case you'll still have the catheter in for the first 12 hours or so.

There are some good packing suggestions here for c sections (including shower gel with hook, extra long charging cable for phone (and/or charged power pack, water bottle you can drink with one hand). I'd also suggest a caddy (like for cleaning products, lightweight plastic) for your stuff on top of the locker.

I got really good at picking stuff up with my toes once I was on my feet.

Very best wishes.

Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions ❤

Aw OP are you sure you don’t have any friends who could help? My DC1 is 7 and if one of their friends needed looking after because their mum was having a section I’d definitely help, even though DH and I are working, we’d make it work to help out! People suprise you with how generous they are in times like this. Is there anyone DD would enjoy a sleepover with? Don’t hold back on asking a trusted friend for some help ♥️

Failing that, do you have anyone who could come with you to the hospital as your birth partner and stay after the section? A sibling? Cousin? Friend?