Can I manage in hospital alone during c-section (which may be complicated)

[biscuitsndtea]

I am 31 weeks now. I am expecting my second child.
I am expecting to have scheduled c-section due to placenta previa.

My elder one is 8 years old, so in case of EMCS or scheduled c-section she will not be allowed in the hospital. So my husband will have to stay with her if the c-section is out of the school hours. ( EMCS)
My dad was suppose to help with my elder daughter during my hospital stay but due to his recent health issues he will not be able to come over.

Since I have placenta previa, not sure how the c-section will pan out. In case if I have to be alone for my c-section and the c-section becomes complicated with previa, I am quite worried.

I am also worried if I will be able to feed+take care of my baby by myself after the c-section if my husband is not available in the hospital. Wondering how long the hospital stay will be with c-section.

Totally lost as things are not going as we planned.

Does your 8 year old have any school friends who she’s close enough to for a sleepover? If she does, could you ask those friends to have have overnight the day of the scheduled C-Section?

Do you have no friends who can help you out? Your older DC is 8 years old, so does she have no friends she could stay with for a night or two so your DH can at least be available to you initially? If your older DC was a baby/toddler it would be different, but as your DD is well into primary school do you have no one who'd help you out in such a situation? I'd have definitely helped, if either of my kids' friends' mums was in such a bind.

Have you anyone else who would stay at yours to look after your children or go with you to the hospital?

There was a woman who had her c section alone when I had mine and the staff gave her extra help so she was fine. My DH had to leave 4 hours after mine before I was mobile as I was moved to the ward and it was past visiting time and it was ok; I had to call for help to get baby back into the crib but that was all. If you ask them to make sure everything is to hand on the table then you can change nappies etc.
Do you have any friends that can visit to help a little?
Also with your 8 year old don’t be afraid to reach out to other parents; even if I didn’t know a parent very well I’d always be happy to help in a situation like this

I had a C-section with my first and no one was in hospital with me. It was fine. I had to ring the nurses to pass DC to me for the first day but it was ok.

Thanks xx If it’s a planned c-section, I can ask for help with my daughter. But most of our friends and the other parents we know are working couples, so I’m a bit concerned about adding to their already hectic schedules.

More concerned about support during unplanned csection as previa has higher risk of bleeding and early delivery.

You’ll be fine - I had large chunks alone after DD2 was born (CS) and as long as everything was in reach, I was fine.

But I agree with PPs saying get a friend to help out with DD1! I’d happily take almost any kid in my DDs’ classes for a couple of nights in these circumstances.

I had a c- section alone and was fine. There's lots of staff there to help while you are immobile. The only thing to be prepared for is that in some hospitals there might not be a room for you to recover with your baby in the same space. I was warned that baby might have to go up to the 'nursery' while I recovered on the ward but luckily we were both together for he full three days.

My advice would be to prepare things at home for when you get back so that things are easy access and you don't have to lift anything or bend awkwardly. Accept all the help you can get from the midwife and health visitor.

They’ll probably give you a date for a fairly early C-Section was placenta previa. But yes, you might need to go in urgently earlier than that. I would start talking to your daughter’s best friend’s parents now, so that you have people to call to ask if you need to go in early. It is a pretty big ask for your daughter’s friends’ parents, but it’s also a one off situation that many people would be happy to help with. Helping people out like this also means you know they might return the favor at a later date. The thing that people really want to avoid is ongoing, never reciprocated help that puts a big strain on their daily lives (e.g. getting talked into providing after-school babysitting every day or every week for a neighbour just because your kids are home.)

I did. I was the only person on my ward that did at the time but the midwives said it wasn’t uncommon. The only real issue in my hospital was that you needed to walk over to collect food, but once they realised I couldn’t, they sorted that for me too.

I was in for 24 hours.

Your maternity ward should be prepared to help you. There will have ben others recovering from CS and without much help. IME, everything was pretty much to hand and they were very understanding if you rang for help.

I agree with PPs that you should ask your daughter if there's a friend she'd like to stay with and approach those parents. I would be happy to host a child for that and would also offer to help in hospital.

My CS was straightforward but I was in hospital for 3 days or so and afterwards pretty sore and quite tired at the end of the day each day. Plus you are not allowed to drive for at least 6 weeks whilst your abdominal muscles heal. So do think ahead to how DH will help manage all the things that need to be done.

Plus you are not allowed to drive for at least 6 weeks whilst your abdominal muscles heal.

I wish people would stop saying this because it's absolutely untrue. You can drive as soon as you feel it is safe to do so. For some people that might be two weeks, for some people it might be two months, but there's no "not allowed" about it. You do not need to be signed off by a midwife or a doctor, and your insurance company do not care either. I don't know where or when this myth perpetuated from but it's a load of baloney.

Hope all goes well.

i ended up with am emergency c section. So nobody was allowed in theatre or with me post section in recovery. Baby was out very quickly. It was a midnight time delivery and my DH was not able to stay with me overnight, so apart from him seeing the baby, I actually had no time or support from him. I was in 2 nights with that delivery if that helps, with no support overnight,

Thanks for sharing your experiences xx

Do you have any tips to make the stay more manageable if I end up doing it on my own? Also, how can I make sure the baby is within easy reach for feeding?

It's not as bad as you think it might be. Get as mobile as possible - you won't have much choice to be fair, as soon as that catheter was out, I was told to get up, and for the rest of the day I never lay down again.

The more mobile you keep, the better. If you can get in and out of bed yourself it obviously helps with looking after the baby. I was up and down like a yo-yo the first night after my c-section because my baby wouldn't settle.

I had to do it on my own with my first during Covid. I was terrified beforehand but actually, it wasn’t too bad. I had really unhelpful midwives too who told me they would only help me that night and then I was on my own. But I managed and it wasn’t that bad. Everything was done super slow. And I made sure the midwife gave me everything I needed from my bag so I wouldn’t have to go looking for stuff or bend over.

Good luck OP. It’ll be fine!

You’ll be fine but also don’t worry about “adding to” someone else’s schedule - any normal and decent person would be more than happy to have their child’s friend for a sleepover in these situations. Just ask!

Yes I would happily have a friends or child’s school friends child over at 8 years in this scenario. They are a self sufficient age so it’s just food, entertainment ( same as own similar age child I’m sure) and maybe pick to drop to school

I maybe suggest now you have a bag packed for elder child? Basic change of clothes, spare uniform shirt at least, other essentials. Then if someone has to use your spare key to grab bits whilst elders at school in emergency you can just say ‘ grab the orange bag’ in child bedroom or whatever.

I agree that the six week thing is a myth. However, as someone who has had a lot of abdominal surgery you do need to check with your car insurance company. IME they differ with what they require and allow.

Most actually say on their website, that you don't need to check (I did some crude research a while back), probably because it must be one of the most common things they get asked! The problem with driving is the risk of further injuring yourself but yeah, better to be safe than sorry if you can't see the answer on your insurers website or policy.

I have had emcs and elcs and I have managed in hospital by myself. You have to manoeuvre the crib to the right height and angle, and get the bed to the right height. Just takes some practice.

I had two emergency c sections

bith spent months in Neo natal alone. Had no issues whatsoever. My scar opened up and I got cellulitis but neither hurt.

I had no problems and it can be done ❤️

Hm I think it depends on a few factors, it’s not a straight forward “yes you’ll be fine” as:

depends on hospital staff (they might quite literally ignore you and forget to provide your timed painkillers. They might pop their head round the door at breakfast and tell you it’s ready and promptly close said door, leaving you stuck on the bed, in agony with no way of moving (can you tell I’m speaking from experience!)

Also. Second child but is it also second c section? My For c section (an emergency) was so so different ti my second, pain wise, mobility, the care I was provided.

Theres no way I could have dealt with it alone second time round. I was in so much pain (sorry but also, this is honest feedback). I went to the SAME hospital for both my sons, but the treatment I received was so sub par second time round, I was essentially just left with paracetamol and ibuprofen (which I had to chase up constantly!) and ignored, completely unable to move my torso. I would recommend you find someone to look after your daughter.

I managed fine alone because similar to you we had an older child that needed to get to & from school so on my discharge dh put him in breakfast club so he could come up and pick me up because I was discharged just over 24 hours after my elective section surgery.

I would encourage you to take the painkillers even if you don’t feel that you need them, get up as soon as the spinal has worn off as catheter will be whipped out and you will need to get to the loo & look after your baby.

Take multivits with iron every other day to replenish your stores and energy.

Ask for help when you need it, the midwives are really fab and will help you no problem.

You will do great! Exciting times ahead, you will be meeting your little one soon. 😃