Anyone had a bad tear but still wanted vaginal delivery for 2nd?

[Luvinhere]

Hi! Currently 35wks with DC2. Had a 3rd degree tear with first + failed episiotomy . Labour was slow. Baby had decels. Ended up in forceps. High blood loss. Straight into theatre but recovery was surprisingly OK. A year later, ultrasound shows tear has healed really well and unlikely to cause issues with second delivery. HOWEVER, birthing was still quite stressful with it not progressing at first, baby’s heart slowing down etc and then blood loss. C-section just seems to offer more reassurance of what is to be expected and more certainty overall. YET, I still can’t make up my mind…. I have a toddler and would hate not to be able to pick him up, drive around and just be my naturally active self PP. Any tips from anyone who was in a similar position? What helped you decide? I am so undecided…

Hi OP, I had a very similar first birth to you, except I had continence problems even though everything healed ‘well’.

I decided on a c-section for my second. It was lovely. Calm, rested, baby was happy and fed easily (just so if you are thinking of breastfeeding c-secs don’t mean you can’t!) I was driving by 2 weeks. Recovery was 100 times easier than my first. I was more mobile after my c-section than my VB.

My issue was that I was pretty much traumatised after my first birth, and just couldn’t go through it again.

Yes I had 3rd degree tear (ended up on itu) went on to have twins by vaginal delivery with no issue (it was a walk in the park in comparison). I was consultant lead, had to agree to induction and that the freshold for intervention was much lower than standard. The having twins was not the main concern ironically.

I had third degree tear and like the pp had incontinence issues. I couldn’t risk a recurrence so I had a cs and was v happy with how it went.

@Grizelofthechaletschool thank you so much. That is very reassuring. Yes I’d like to BF again, that is my priority. Yeah although consultant assured me incontinence risk is low, you just can never be sure… could I also ask, how was it getting out of bed to BF baby throughout the night? DH will be with DC1 at home and won’t be with me at night (I want this, I want DC1 to have his dad with him while I am away). Wondering if I’ll manage OK to get out of bed to get baby to feed. I am generally quite fit but don’t know to what extent CS will limit me.

@Filedrinkblanket thank you for sharing. Where you against CS? Or just went into spontaneous labour and went along either way with it?

I had a 3rd degree tear with my first but then a vaginal delivery at home with my second. It was a completely different experience and quite healing for me emotionally.

Was not totally against csection however I was a single parent with a 4 year old I needed to get to school/care for and so wanted to be mobile as quick as possible. I also wanted to breastfeed dt and although possible with c-section midwifes encouraged vaginal delivery. I was lucky to have a really good consultant (who saw me through both pregnancies and was very supportive).

I was only in hospital for one night, and I had to call the midwives every time I needed to get DD but tbh she fed pretty much solidly anyway. Once I was at home DH helped me every time I had to get her out of the Moses basket at night for a couple of days but honestly I was more mobile than after my VB.

Thanks everyone. Really appreciate you sharing experiences. @Grizelofthechaletschool thanks for that. I am feeling more comfortable about a CS now tbh 😊

Mine Healed and my 3 subsequent births were injury free and no problems.

I had two C sections after a 3b tear/ episiotomy /failed ventouse/ forceps/ PPH/ bruised bladder. The latest section was 7 weeks ago. I was set on a section anyway, but the chat I had with the perineal midwife at the hospital confirmed it for me. There is an increased risk of a subsequent tear after a third degree tear, and there are higher risks of continence issues. As she put it, while it’s not a big risk in absolute terms, if it happens to you it’s pretty horrible. I wasn’t chancing that in a million years.

The recoveries were a million times easier than after the vaginal birth, and breast feeding was absolutely fine. The milk came in pretty quickly both times. I have several friends who had sections and breastfed long term (a year or more), and in fact I am a breastfed c section baby myself. My mother had lots of milk so donated some too.

I didn’t have my husband overnight in hospital after either of the c sections, because he was at home with our eldest. I was up 6 hours after the first section and 4 hours after the second. Picking the baby up wasn’t particularly tricky.

With our youngest I had to have an early section, at 38 weeks, for medical reasons. We were warned he might have some temporary breathing issues because of the early gestation, and he was in NICU for just under 48 hours for some breathing support. I was being wheeled to see him 4 hours post section and then up and down over the next 48 hours, working up to walking there back and forth myself. It was actually very helpful to have to mobilise more, and I recovered even more quickly than after the first section.

Once home, I taught the older children to come to the sofa for hugs, and kept a pillow in my lap in case they accidentally kicked me. To be fair, I had already done that more or less in the third trimester of pregnancy. It worked well - no issues there.

I had a vaginal birth after my first with a third degree tear. Second birth was a completely different experience. A second degree tear but I was discharged after 3 hours and only needed paracetamol for pain. Was mobile from day one the second time around rather than having to stay in hospital overnight needing oramorph and not being able to sit or walk for weeks. I am a midwife and I knew I wanted to try for a vaginal delivery second time around and I am so glad I did as it really helped me process some of the feeling around my first delivery.

I had a 3b tear with my first which healed really well. I was very unsure what I wanted with my second until I had a consultation with an amazing OB. She showed me the following website where you can put your own personal data in and it shows you your risks of incontinence/prolapse etc in the future based on both vaginally and CS births. It is surprising that CS in futire births doesn't actually offer much (if any) protection. I ended up going for a vaginal birth and I'm so happy I did, I had a tiny tear which healed very well. This website doesn't work well on phones.... better on an actual computer/tablet

riskcalc.org/UR_CHOICE/

I had an episiotomy with my second, and had a vaginal delivery with my third with no tearing at all

I was such a mess after first baby with the tear 58 stitches was dreadful. With the second. When they saw the state of the scarring they restitched it beautifully after baby was born. Never another moments discomfort. Went on to have a third baby no stitches needed.

I had 2 episiotomies with dd1, tore well past both (they were in a hurry and yanked her out with ventouse as she was in distress). Loads of stitches, narrowly avoided 3rd degree tear.

I was very worried about 2nd birth 4 years later - I was told there was no option for CS unless as emergency (this was 17 years ago). Had to be induced as I was carrying too much fluid ie risk of cord prolapse. Super intense and fast birth - 1hr 10mins from induction to holding baby. Was absolutely fine and only a tiny tear. Best of luck with however your dc2 arrives.

Just to close off this thread, I ended up going for ELCS. For me personally, recovery has been way easier than having stitches down there. I was mobile within 6 hours and the pain just felt like an intense ab workout. I was out on a walk on day 3 post CS. With the tear and episiotomy stitches, I could barely walk for a whole week and had pain for a whole month. Was also a lovely and calm experience.

So glad it worked out for you OP, and congratulations on your lovely new baby! That was my experience of ELCS too - much easier than stitches for the tear/ episiotomy, and generally much less draining physically and mentally.